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  • EADD Moderators: Pissed_and_messed | Shinji Ikari

EADD Im Fucked Megathread They said we couldn't get fucked, we fucked and got fucked!

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mydrugbuddy is right in what he says. Hexagram unfortunately types a lot on here and I feel like he does have some genuine problems but he never seems to heed any advice given. Too much hard drugs will only a hard life to live in the end.
 
just come out of hospital after a G overdose. Apparently my breathing was erratic and no one could wake me up, despite screaming and shouting. It's the closest i've come to death in my life yet. And it scares the shit out of me.

I'm not sure I feel suicidal anymore.
 
hexagram said:
just come out of hospital after a G overdose. Apparently my breathing was erratic and no one could wake me up, despite screaming and shouting. It's the closest i've come to death in my life yet. And it scares the shit out of me.

I'm not sure I feel suicidal anymore.
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That's probably the best thing that could have happened then mate. Sometimes we all need a bit of a shock to put things in perspective.

Take care man.
 
I think now I've changed my mind. Genunley. For ages i've been suicidal. it's been my one obssesion for months and months. But now i've come close to it. Idk.You only get one life. Now i've seen the eternal nothingness of death (Idk, the G od felt like what death might feel like, and that feeling is nothing) I've sort of seen the value of it.

Times are going to be hard. I'm not looking forward to this coming winter. Surviving it is going to be literally one of the hardest things i've evr done. But maybe by next summer i'll be ok. And in five years time maybe i'll be better than ok. I have to believe that there will be happiness one day.

I'm going to start tyring to do things, even if it's just small things, evry day. I'm going to try to cut down on my drugs and drinking. I'm going to block my ex's blog, instagram and facebook. And whenever I feel shit about the sitaution i'm going to tell myself that one day, even though it really, really dosen't feel like it, one day I WILL find someone who will make me feel like she did, hell maybe even moreso.

It's going to be the most difficult thing i've ever done. I have made an absolute proper mess of things. But i'm going to do it for the people in my life who still care.
 
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fair play hex, i was genuinely expecting a R.I.P thread any day now and i'm glad you come out the other end with a more positive outlook. You right it will be hard but no matter how hard it gets it will be worth it in the end. Just think if you keep on track, minimising your drug use, getting out and meeting new people, reconnecting with old friends, you will look back on this as if it where a distant memory. There has already been a lot of great advice dispensed on here for you so I don't want to repeat what has been said but maybe going to the dr and being honest with him/her would be the best bet. If you have a benzo problem you could maybe get a supervised diaz script to stabilize you then slowly taper. Things will get better if your consistent and determined to get there. Best of luck!
 
Good to hear in many ways Hex. Go focus on yourself and getting better mate. I find the gym helps me, good to run out all those shitty feelings. On the plus side, you can stare at women in spandex..,
 
hexagram said:
just come out of hospital after a G overdose. Apparently my breathing was erratic and no one could wake me up, despite screaming and shouting. It's the closest i've come to death in my life yet. And it scares the shit out of me.

I'm not sure I feel suicidal anymore.
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I'm glad to hear your still alive but can't say I didn't notice the irony of your following post. Did you actually read everyone's replies to your posts about "bottle caps full of GBL" the other day in this thread? You could have saved the hospital visit if you had just listened. FUBAR had already pointed out the obvious that staring at your ex's new boyfriend on Facebook would only make you more down man. I understand this is mostly due to your relationship ending. We all have that one, that still stings. Trying to persue it when the ship has already sailed though won't bring her back.

Also your saying you want to calm down on the drugs rather than leave the drugs alone doesn't inspire much faith in me that we won't be back here next week either. Like I said from day 1 not trying to have a go at you Hex, I'm trying to help. In the meantime help yourself by staying away from too many substances which will further muddy your mind.

Staying away from benzos stims and too much booze will probably help. Hope you get things sorted...
 
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Hex; i think someone has already mentioned the 'cat with 9 lives' thing to you. I think its fair to say that you have probably used up all 9 lives by now and have been extremely lucky to come through all that has happened recently. What is even more significant is that a near death experience has changed your perspective on life and death and that you now have a much more positive attitude and stand a much better chance of creating a better and happier life for yourself.

It's like The Sopranos, i know its a work of fiction but a lot of it is probably based on true events, when Tony Soprano was feeling completely and unshakably depressed it took a near miss attempt on his life by some rival attempting to gun him down in broad daylight in the middle of town to shake him out of his depression and to value his life.
 
You've never heard of them? First it was not knowing what pac man is, and now this. Mental.
 
Ok, im fucked i feel quite lovely and Im not apologising. Ive just been out to get my weekend 'shopping' (1/4 weed + 2 grams of heroin). As I didnt see my normal guy i smoked about a point as soon as I got home to check the brown out - it seemed ok, medium strength but its usually a bit of a waste using so close to my last methadone dose so what litttle effect i got didnt last. So I shot the second bag and while it hasnt knocked me off my feet I feel proper ready-brek horse whipped. I dont inject much so now im in the zone, and i'll be able to maintain the glow by chasing a little bit more gear and getting a nice big spliff on.

I know its the worst example of drug abuse but Im osrry I dont feel this nice very often, so apart from acknowledging how risky and unadvisable my drug use is in the spirit of HR, Im afraid this heroin has made me feel lovely. Id go so far as to say lovely jubly in fact.
 
enjoy the gear stee! wish I had some.

But yeah going to hospital with respiratory depression and waking up with no idea who you are, having your stomach pumped cover in wires with one of those gas mask thingys and a tube in your cock is not fun.

Least I got some free diazpam in hpospital thaough.
 
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