Bella - I have recently tried loads of different presses of locally made valium, by locally made i mean some where in the uk, but I wouldn't be the first or even second to buy of a patched i didn't know other people had been in there before me, and when i do get them I never take a daft amount, never do that, if I give them to people I advise they do not to that either. But I have got real MSJ again, so at least av got legit ones again and they should be there till boxes appear again.
I have done counsuling and I do have psychiatrist and stuff, tbh i play up a bit, but truth of the matter is, I don't know nothing else part from drugs, btw don't don't I look like some smack head, because I don't, i am a decent looking guy, even though I have been in a relationship for 7 year , but I have put her through so much. She'll always wait & hope i can change my ways , but i don't know how to, all my mates are in the same boat , drugs drugs drugs, I am only the one who got into smack , but some are white fiend & are fair worse than smackhead , some rock heads , others have managed to stay away from drugs and made some change, I was making some change I got bored of it and tried smack and the rest is history, fucked my life, always liked vals tho, because the way they relax me , but also can make me angrier. I am winning on not taking the smack so much, that is a start for me , I will go from there try and walk before I can run.
Stee - I seen my worker, and I didn't have the balls to tell her about the benzos, she has asked me before and I have told her no, I have been in bouncing out my nut, it's not even funny, she's go beyond for me & i feel like am letting her down by admitting before I even came to see her I was taking vals, I may just have to bite the bullet at our next meeting , see said I have lost more weight and she wants a doc to be our next app, so maybe best time to come clean. Reason i took so many different vals was trying to find good ones , as av said on here plenty a times it's dry in Glasgow & it maybe read I am being silly , but I was actually trying to source the closest thing to diazepam I could get , thankfully I got in touch with my old contact and he's getting proper msj tubs, so am getting real ones again.
Am like you , I need the vals to chill me out , I live a certain life & I need the diazepam to cope with all the bullshit drama, thats if am being honest with myself. I sleep with vals under my pillow, when I wake I take 6/7/8 in the morning & wait to a feel them kick in before I get up , I know it isn't great, but i need them just now , even gear doesn't take away the feelings like the diazepam do, that's why I can cunt down on that , with diazepam and my green/pollen I can be content , dish bags out and not want to take gear, then a turn comes up with a mate and we hit it , and even after wev came away from each other I maybe carry on using longer than i should, I know my mistakes, now I just need to change them, & I plan too, I need too if I want to get on with semi decent life .