Fuckin' murder back to the junkie life, know I remember the bad parts isn't all just tooting. Today for the first time in the two week av been addicted again I never had no money to wake up thus meaning no way to score. I got up around 10 wasn't too bad just knew I was going have serious WD, anyway I knew I would have some money at 3 was the first person to come and see me today, but the wait terrible, I manage to get back to sleep till half 1, struggled but managed to get showered ready and stuff, with it being a sunday buses are proper shite on sundays and had to meet this dude at the train station, so I jumped on a pedal bike, had to fuckin' pedal in rain and with it being fucking freezing my balls of, noes running like crazy chest in total agony, ended up making it to the closest station the next stop down is where I was to meet this geeza, just missed a train so I had to wait another 20 minutes hating life, asking why am I such a fuckin' idiot, I got clean so why did I do it all over again, and them am standing giving it the dry boak noes running like crazy, eventually my train arrives and not a moment to soon, believe that brother. Got to the station met my man he hands over 30 notes I dont want to stand this time - I need gear, pronto!!my bag stays right next to the station that is ideal - I was kinda pissed too because my man who does .8 for 30 doesn't do sundays, the dick!! people score of him every day we cant just turn of our habits on sunday like what he does with his phone, part from that he is a sound geeza but that pisses me off!! - anyway that few minutes going to his gaff was torture, thinking will anyone be in, what if they have nothing, these guys dont never have, its just a house with a few different guys answer the door for there boss they have always got but in my dope sick mind am thinking they wont have. Get there one chap at the door geeza answers - ''awrite mate, many ye after? 3'' into my mouth and off I go, but that is only half that battle but at least I have my gear, I pedal fast as I can to get back to the station, thankfully train arrvies within a minute or two, but I am feeling right rough now. So I had to go into the toilet and sort half a bag just to try and relieve the sickness, even that little sniff bliss just that taste of smack would think I hadn't had any in days rather than just the hours it had been - Its only one stop back I had to pedal it was tough, but I thinbk that little sniff gave me the motivation to pedal like fuck and known I had 2 and a half bag left it didn't seem as long getting back as it did going, finally get in the house, still out of breath, clothes soaking wet and looking for the foil, get it on the foil smoke a few lines and back to feeling it normal, all that to feel fucking normal -INSANE!! why do we do it ? I have got my .8 man booked in for first thing tomorrow, so will get that about half 9/10, and after that I am coming off it, think I might buy some methadone and do it myself, but even after all that today I still love her, so will quitting work who knows, but that today was murder but was necessary to I wouldn't be sitting sick just now, now I am happy, can do things with a spring it in my step, its the aggony we go through when we dont have it.