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  • EADD Moderators: axe battler | Pissed_and_messed

EADD Heroin discussion v.20 -- You've come a long way baby

it's the paws that scare me too. I know when I've done rattles before I go thru a really excitable energetic phase, then wear myself down , have lack of sleep, feel the "Is that it?" feeling and then get back on the ol d Heroin

it's fucking awful, like getting in on some cosmic joke where everything makes sense only to realize it's a glimpse and that you're essentially fucked no matter what you do.
 
When I was in treatment they called it the pink cloud period - this is when you get off the gear and after 2 months or so you feel like your on a massive natural high (I use to 'bump it by working out 2 hours a day for the endorphins) trouble is like any high you eventually come down but you are in fact just in 'normal mode' which is hard to adjust to.
I wish you the best and all tat has been said does work - especially exercise. Unfortunately for me I have next to no chance of stopping as been too long at it, even today i can't go and score due to commitment so have to make do with oxy's which most people would see as a pretty good thing but for me its te brown that has me everything else is just a novelty.
 
I have basically fucked it - but to being a junkie. Started couple of weeks ago when I had a gram, told myself I would keep it to a weekly thing (yes I know we all do it and it rarely happens that way) so a few days after it was another gram, few days after that another gram then fuck started to go pete tong, the day after I done my gram I went and see my bag man, I dont know what I was thinking but thats what I did, scored a few and to my surprise the gear was decent usually hate buying tenners but this stuff is worth it, to me anyway, from them basically smoking everyday. Only been the last 3/4 days I have woke up and knew I need it instead of want, although I do still want and lucky there has been means to score, but as we know that doesn't last forever then its belt up time as your entering rattle city. I know I can come of it as I have done so, but I did that for other people, and they are wise am using again. I dont want to lose my girlfriend, but if am honest am just not ready to give smack up. I love it. Today I managed to wake up to .4 today after crashing out due to the smack about 4 this morning, that was with diazepam, my smack habit usually has a diazepam habit to thats just how I like doing my kit, although kit is number one no vallies as of yet today, but I am sitting with a tray of foil, in my bed room at my mums my go to place for a toot have all I need here, computer, telly, comfy bed, lighters and gas and foil. I am stuck I dont want to lose my girlfriend she is brilliant, great at the house work - not being sexist she just is- has gave me a lovely house spoils me rotten, and she is some ride, I love her, but the heroin addiction is so strong the pull of - ITS FUCKING INSANE EVEN HAVING TO COMPARE THEM - but heroin is on the mind constantly, not even finished the .4 and am thinkin about how am getting more and getting worried, what if i dont get any more today.
 
I have basically fucked it - but to being a junkie. Started couple of weeks ago when I had a gram, told myself I would keep it to a weekly thing (yes I know we all do it and it rarely happens that way) so a few days after it was another gram, few days after that another gram then fuck started to go pete tong, the day after I done my gram I went and see my bag man, I dont know what I was thinking but thats what I did, scored a few and to my surprise the gear was decent usually hate buying tenners but this stuff is worth it, to me anyway, from them basically smoking everyday. Only been the last 3/4 days I have woke up and knew I need it instead of want, although I do still want and lucky there has been means to score, but as we know that doesn't last forever then its belt up time as your entering rattle city. I know I can come of it as I have done so, but I did that for other people, and they are wise am using again. I dont want to lose my girlfriend, but if am honest am just not ready to give smack up. I love it. Today I managed to wake up to .4 today after crashing out due to the smack about 4 this morning, that was with diazepam, my smack habit usually has a diazepam habit to thats just how I like doing my kit, although kit is number one no vallies as of yet today, but I am sitting with a tray of foil, in my bed room at my mums my go to place for a toot have all I need here, computer, telly, comfy bed, lighters and gas and foil. I am stuck I dont want to lose my girlfriend she is brilliant, great at the house work - not being sexist she just is- has gave me a lovely house spoils me rotten, and she is some ride, I love her, but the heroin addiction is so strong the pull of - ITS FUCKING INSANE EVEN HAVING TO COMPARE THEM - but heroin is on the mind constantly, not even finished the .4 and am thinkin about how am getting more and getting worried, what if i dont get any more today.

The girlfriends worth it over the heroin, if you lose her you'll just end up doing more and more to compensate, and end up heavily mixing with vallies too no doubt if you have them spare. I did that after a relationship fell apart (mostly because of my own drug use) and now that i've been clean two weeks I regret how fucking stupid I was (7 months ago) to give up something good, replacing the natural happiness I felt with another person with a chemical substitute, makes me feel like a pathetic excuse for a man who makes his ex feel responsible for their own downward spiral. I'd literally just ditch it dude, everytime you get a new gram it's only going to last what? a couple of days even if you smoke a lot of it or less and you'll get to the point where you either actively want to give up or have to because you have no money left or you can't get a hold of any, in which case you'll be going through worse w/d's with the added knowledge you lost something good.
 
Unfortunately for me I have next to no chance of stopping as been too long at it.

Nah, not true mate. You just haven't found a good enough reason to want to stop yet. One of the few pieces of genuine wisdom imparted to me by my DSP was that very few opiate addicts make a conscious decision to stop - it usually takes a drastic event in their life to force that decision. Whether it is a negative event such as losing a limb or being sent to prison, or a positive one such as a sudden 'WTF am I doing with my life' realisation. With gear, for me it was the great drought of 2010 which made me question whether spending 4 or more hours crying in the bathroom standing knee deep in a pile of blunt and congealed syringes with blood oozing from numerous failed IV attempts was actually worth it. I tried to go back to tooting but the gear quality made this a non starter. Not had any since then. Methadone on the other hand is a different story. Although I'm currently trying to wean off that, I haven't yet found good enough reason for doing so. If I'm honest I would say that my quality of life is much improved on it than off it. But I can't risk saying 'I've been on it for so long now I'll never stop' coz ya literally never know what's round the corner..
 
Gear I'm getting at the moment is not the best I have had in the last few months.

However a ten bag weighs .16 - .2 and its two for 15. I'm not quite sure how my man has managed to get good gear and sell it for that price but he has.

If someone told me they could get .35 - .4 for 15 quid I probs would very suspicious of how good it was but that stuff is good. Not the strongest but pretty still good.

I'm worried it's just a sort term thing to lure some more custom and then the weight will go down :\ Even if the weight does go down I will still score of him.
 
The girlfriends worth it over the heroin, if you lose her you'll just end up doing more and more to compensate, and end up heavily mixing with vallies too no doubt if you have them spare. I did that after a relationship fell apart (mostly because of my own drug use) and now that i've been clean two weeks I regret how fucking stupid I was (7 months ago) to give up something good, replacing the natural happiness I felt with another person with a chemical substitute, makes me feel like a pathetic excuse for a man who makes his ex feel responsible for their own downward spiral. I'd literally just ditch it dude, everytime you get a new gram it's only going to last what? a couple of days even if you smoke a lot of it or less and you'll get to the point where you either actively want to give up or have to because you have no money left or you can't get a hold of any, in which case you'll be going through worse w/d's with the added knowledge you lost something good.

Great post pal, im clucking at the moment and its rreading posts like these that help me carry on. Fuck smack, Choose Life....just watched trainspotting lol
 
Blondin does your good stuff run brown or redish in beetle i find the stronger stuff usualy runs darker brown than red tho it varies a bit


got to be brown. only a small percent seem to have that proper brown hue.
shades of red/ orange tend to be less good. some top stuff out there
 
Fuckin' murder back to the junkie life, know I remember the bad parts isn't all just tooting. Today for the first time in the two week av been addicted again I never had no money to wake up thus meaning no way to score. I got up around 10 wasn't too bad just knew I was going have serious WD, anyway I knew I would have some money at 3 was the first person to come and see me today, but the wait terrible, I manage to get back to sleep till half 1, struggled but managed to get showered ready and stuff, with it being a sunday buses are proper shite on sundays and had to meet this dude at the train station, so I jumped on a pedal bike, had to fuckin' pedal in rain and with it being fucking freezing my balls of, noes running like crazy chest in total agony, ended up making it to the closest station the next stop down is where I was to meet this geeza, just missed a train so I had to wait another 20 minutes hating life, asking why am I such a fuckin' idiot, I got clean so why did I do it all over again, and them am standing giving it the dry boak noes running like crazy, eventually my train arrives and not a moment to soon, believe that brother. Got to the station met my man he hands over 30 notes I dont want to stand this time - I need gear, pronto!!my bag stays right next to the station that is ideal - I was kinda pissed too because my man who does .8 for 30 doesn't do sundays, the dick!! people score of him every day we cant just turn of our habits on sunday like what he does with his phone, part from that he is a sound geeza but that pisses me off!! - anyway that few minutes going to his gaff was torture, thinking will anyone be in, what if they have nothing, these guys dont never have, its just a house with a few different guys answer the door for there boss they have always got but in my dope sick mind am thinking they wont have. Get there one chap at the door geeza answers - ''awrite mate, many ye after? 3'' into my mouth and off I go, but that is only half that battle but at least I have my gear, I pedal fast as I can to get back to the station, thankfully train arrvies within a minute or two, but I am feeling right rough now. So I had to go into the toilet and sort half a bag just to try and relieve the sickness, even that little sniff bliss just that taste of smack would think I hadn't had any in days rather than just the hours it had been - Its only one stop back I had to pedal it was tough, but I thinbk that little sniff gave me the motivation to pedal like fuck and known I had 2 and a half bag left it didn't seem as long getting back as it did going, finally get in the house, still out of breath, clothes soaking wet and looking for the foil, get it on the foil smoke a few lines and back to feeling it normal, all that to feel fucking normal -INSANE!! why do we do it ? I have got my .8 man booked in for first thing tomorrow, so will get that about half 9/10, and after that I am coming off it, think I might buy some methadone and do it myself, but even after all that today I still love her, so will quitting work who knows, but that today was murder but was necessary to I wouldn't be sitting sick just now, now I am happy, can do things with a spring it in my step, its the aggony we go through when we dont have it.
 
Got x10 20 bags today , blinding gear - the wholesale price has dropped by a 1/3rd in the last few weeks so quality and quantity going up , getting about 3-4txts a day from people trying to sell - good thing is they alll have good gear so its playing one off against the other for deals. Just wish there was good white - rare as hens teeth, use to be able to get old stylee w but even that is now average to poor.
 
Ive had three different whites this weekend and none of them were that tuff. Everyone by me seems to have the same wicked gear tho, grey brown and prper rocks in it - no repressed lumps of flour as they try to get away with sometimes. Its really fucking strong ive had some of the strangest nods in years. Going to finish the last of my weed off with a good film once ive done the housework this morning then its no drugs untill next weekend (save for prescribed physeptone which doesnt count)
 
Fuckin' murder back to the junkie life, know I remember the bad parts isn't all just tooting. Today for the first time in the two week av been addicted again I never had no money to wake up thus meaning no way to score. I got up around 10 wasn't too bad just knew I was going have serious WD, anyway I knew I would have some money at 3 was the first person to come and see me today, but the wait terrible, I manage to get back to sleep till half 1, struggled but managed to get showered ready and stuff, with it being a sunday buses are proper shite on sundays and had to meet this dude at the train station, so I jumped on a pedal bike, had to fuckin' pedal in rain and with it being fucking freezing my balls of, noes running like crazy chest in total agony, ended up making it to the closest station the next stop down is where I was to meet this geeza, just missed a train so I had to wait another 20 minutes hating life, asking why am I such a fuckin' idiot, I got clean so why did I do it all over again, and them am standing giving it the dry boak noes running like crazy, eventually my train arrives and not a moment to soon, believe that brother. Got to the station met my man he hands over 30 notes I dont want to stand this time - I need gear, pronto!!my bag stays right next to the station that is ideal - I was kinda pissed too because my man who does .8 for 30 doesn't do sundays, the dick!! people score of him every day we cant just turn of our habits on sunday like what he does with his phone, part from that he is a sound geeza but that pisses me off!! - anyway that few minutes going to his gaff was torture, thinking will anyone be in, what if they have nothing, these guys dont never have, its just a house with a few different guys answer the door for there boss they have always got but in my dope sick mind am thinking they wont have. Get there one chap at the door geeza answers - ''awrite mate, many ye after? 3'' into my mouth and off I go, but that is only half that battle but at least I have my gear, I pedal fast as I can to get back to the station, thankfully train arrvies within a minute or two, but I am feeling right rough now. So I had to go into the toilet and sort half a bag just to try and relieve the sickness, even that little sniff bliss just that taste of smack would think I hadn't had any in days rather than just the hours it had been - Its only one stop back I had to pedal it was tough, but I thinbk that little sniff gave me the motivation to pedal like fuck and known I had 2 and a half bag left it didn't seem as long getting back as it did going, finally get in the house, still out of breath, clothes soaking wet and looking for the foil, get it on the foil smoke a few lines and back to feeling it normal, all that to feel fucking normal -INSANE!! why do we do it ? I have got my .8 man booked in for first thing tomorrow, so will get that about half 9/10, and after that I am coming off it, think I might buy some methadone and do it myself, but even after all that today I still love her, so will quitting work who knows, but that today was murder but was necessary to I wouldn't be sitting sick just now, now I am happy, can do things with a spring it in my step, its the aggony we go through when we dont have it.

Amen. I went cold turkey 5 days ago, cravings are awful and so is the anxiety, depression and shitty sleep. The physical symtoms are gone but mentally im all over the place. Us bagheads really do like to torture ourselves!

Good luck getting clean, just be careful not to take the methadone any more than 4-5 days and to taper down. Otherwise you might have a 'done dependency, and you really dont want that
 
Amen. I went cold turkey 5 days ago, cravings are awful and so is the anxiety, depression and shitty sleep. The physical symtoms are gone but mentally im all over the place. Us bagheads really do like to torture ourselves!

Good luck getting clean, just be careful not to take the methadone any more than 4-5 days and to taper down. Otherwise you might have a 'done dependency, and you really dont want that


I know what exactly that is what I was going through be I give and a scored, which was meant to be once a week thing but we all know that rarely happens and we end back with the habit. Its been shitty today again, had ordered my .8 last night geeza was suppose to bring it last night, he never. So I had to go grab a bag just to keep well, gutted really cause I wanted a decent smoke after yesterday. He will still sleeping cause we sometimes to a swap for boxes of vallies, we did this on saturday morning and he isn't a big benzo taker, just hope he is up soon, got maybe 5 lines if am lucky left on the foil. Sick of this shit again!!
 
Evenntually my .8 answers bout fucking time too, did tell his lanky arse if he does that again wont be swapping diazies with him anymore, its currently getting spilt with my bro, had a bag to settle me earlier so no rattles, so its just being greedy now fell normal so just blastin through this for fun, dumb really but am in that stage of wanting to get full of it constantly again I need to snap out of it, so what had been a kinda shit day has just picked up. Gonna smoke this with a few joints, and see what else the days holds - maybe even kick about here rambling any old bollocks.
 
Amen. I went cold turkey 5 days ago, cravings are awful and so is the anxiety, depression and shitty sleep. The physical symtoms are gone but mentally im all over the place. Us bagheads really do like to torture ourselves!

Good luck getting clean, just be careful not to take the methadone any more than 4-5 days and to taper down. Otherwise you might have a 'done dependency, and you really dont want that

3-4 days wont cut it, just delay the inevitable you can do a 2 week taper, which i have posted on here a few times now. pretty painless and will cover the physical side but then you have the head games to deal with : (
 
the sickness I have at the mo seems to be stopping my cravings. far easier to neck green that sit rootin tootin...but it may alleviate the pain i'min. jeez I'm off to bed. it's like pregnant back ache.
 
Quick question chaps. I bit the bullet with all this smack talk of late since I just started posting again. (I know.. I know HR and all that... but the deals been done)

Anyway... If memory serves you guys right... Did it take you guys long to get the hang of smoking off foil.Probably had someone on hand to show you the ropes. I'm not sure if the last few batches I had where shite but I either burnt it or it ran too much to the point I couldn't get any smoke inhaled. I've no one to show me. Watched old Afgan vids on youtube and it looks a piece of piss bit from memory it was far from it.

Would appreciate a few pointers. Suppose practice makes perfect? Not great when it comes to smack really!?!?
 
It's just practice.. and practice comes with its problems.

It doesn't take long to pick it up no. It sounds like you was holding the foil to flat - hence burning, or too steep and it running away from you.

I'd recommend getting some fairly thick foil, not ya 50p rolls, you may have to splash out a couple of quid :D. This should give you more time and control, you won't risk blowing holes through the foil and losing lots of product. On the plus side your 50p lighters are perfect, one you can adjust the flame.

Then it's just heat and distance, angles and speed.. 8)

Without someone showing you its just trial and error really and youtube vids, as easy as it is its not very easy to explain..

Good luck and try not to get to good at it ;)
 
The trick is simply to keep the lighter slightly behind the beetle, not under it. And stop heating just before you stop breathing in.
 
The trick is simply to keep the lighter slightly behind the beetle, not under it. And stop heating just before you stop breathing in.

That.^^
Also low flame - startwith it 4-5 inches away from the foil and gently bring it up until the gear starts to melt then slightly tilt the foil so that the melted H starts to run-nice and slow keep your tooter no more than an inch away from the gear and suck in slowly - some of the vids on utube are pretty good at showing how to do it
also i found Lidl foil to be excellent and cheap 1.99 for 30m ,same thickness as baco but x3 as much foil.
 
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