Background: I’m in my late twenties, an ex-smoker (quit 4 years ago), 6’2” 200 pounds, and I take the following prescribed medications daily: Suboxone (buprenorphine), clonazepam, Wellbutrin (bupropion), and Strattera (atomoxetine).
In addition, I always have on hand diazepam, lorazepam, and alprazolam, as well as frequently temazepam and other hypnotics. I really don’t like clonazepam, so I either take only a third of my dose or sometimes none at all, substituting most often diazepam- I do this to keep my tolerance from rising, as it’s been more or less steady over the last several years with spikes every few months from recreational hypnotic use, IV midazolam being my favorite.
Below is an email I wrote to a friend while high on DXM (the experience written while under the influence).
The circumstances preceding the trip are as follows: I sometimes take tramadol as bupe doesn’t block it. Approximately 3 weeks prior to my DXM experience, I got a large quantity of both tramadol and phenobarbital. Pheno is an inducer for tramadol, thus more tramadol is converted to its more powerful M1 metabolite. Add to that the fact that pheno is a barbiturate- this is a RISKY game, I DO NOT advise it as mixing just about anything with barbiturates can very easily be DEADLY, add to that the fact the pheno has a half-life of 5 days… I can feel it for a good 3 full days, so you can’t undo what you’ve taken.
That said, I found the phenobarbital plus tramadol combo (while also on Suboxone, clonazepam, and other benzos) got me very, very high… it didn’t feel like the “speedy high” someone without tolerance may get from tramadol either, it felt like I was under the influence of a full mu agonist.
I’d never before taken more than 450mg, as 400 is the max daily amount or else you risk seizure. However, not only was I on a plethora of benzos (also induced by phenobarbital, having the undesired effect of quicker elimination) but I was on pheno, which is itself an anticonvulsant. I thus felt comfortable taking up to 800mg of tramadol while on 300 to 500mg of pheno (note that barbs are cross tolerant with benzos, someone without a benzo tolerance such as I should never touch that kind of dose!)
Prior to this I’d never taken tramadol for more than 3 days at a time with 7 to 10 day breaks in between. Yet, for 3 weeks I was taking 800mg tram daily and pheno every third day. I realized I was addicted and quit cold turkey which was NOT fun…
While trying to deal with the W/Ds, one night I drank a bottle and a half of Delsym. They were the largest bottles available- I hadn’t abused DXM since I was 14, at the time I believe the bottles were 4 and 8 ounces. However, I believe these were only 5, yet more potent, as it was written rather large, “Refer to new dosing guidelines” and had a ton of DXM per ml, albeit in extended release form.
“this is very difficult to write atm- not unpleasant, just very very slow- so I was tired of tram w/ds, hell, my fuckin pupils look like i'm in sub w/ds, anyway my throat was sore then i remembered the erowid.org on DXM and how you can't trip if you're on an SSRI b/c you'll get serotonin syndrome, so I figured I take lots of drugs with norep. already which is one half of tram but none with serot. whihc is the other half of tram,
at first was measurings doses, then decided fuck it and i drank 1 and a half of the large size this screen is a mirror bottles of Delsym. I love that shit even tho its been over a decade since last time.
first "discovered" as leaves fall on me it when I was a teen-
had never seen it in a store before, had fuckin bronchitis but fuck i'm all state needed to play in the game doc says go downstairs an get delsym i don't shake bottle take a SMALL sip get nice fast head rush which becomes high and lasts throughout game actually helped.
it was bf all the shit on the news, no one knew about, APAP in cough syrup or that it's the DXM that gets you high etc but the del is ultra concenstrated, pure DXM, 12 hour extended release.
as i right this i am tripping balls it is fantastic. sucked earlier bc was looking at screeen but could not see was looking thourgh screen
but now i'm chiseling the text like the ancient greeks im on a latter i can literally see the slab
lord these visuals are fuckin unreal i cant believe im high on cough syrup
how incredible the text is 3D and it's in layers now it sse twirling that was intense wow and te text reflects as teh keyboard is a mirror although my hands sink into it like a moist wet vagainai
i feeel like i'm coming out of the whomb as the screen explodes or comin in my face i dodnt know what is below i began first but the visuals get more intense
i'm very happy now I really like you Brian and i'm glad we're friends fighting is no fun and no one should die alone this is by far the best ive ever felt in my life
wall on which i write earlier i was paranoid but came upstairs to type to friend brian and friend brian made itall okay and halepd walk me thru the clouds and teh t trip and there's a train
i dont know what ive written above except that i love you brian im not going to proof read beaceae new letters the creation of is of paramount importance and the world day to day life is really not what they tell you
there's so much more i don't want to talk about whatever it is i started typed below at first i just want to love life also my dad loves me now im very sincere as I type in water drops literally he told me on the phone i went to his house today for fathers day for first time since ive moved here got teh scup from dads wife that it was good i gave him time to get over all that shit and start to build trust and respect and then i came ove r today and he was sincerely happy that i was there and vice versa
and i know i'm tripping really hard but it is truth that what happened with my dad and I today it was the closest we've ever been since ive been alive hes become more open now its incredible and i have earned his trust (Writing on brick wall now btw) and that means a shit load to me man
fuck i thik evry dude wants his father to approve of him ive gone fronm punching him in the face whe n he was drunk as shit and i was 13 to him leaving at 16 (now writing on a pillow btw) to having what i thought at the time was the best reltionship ive ever had with my dad when i got sober in wa state
but then he loathed me after the relapse and during my depression and would scream fuck at me
yet hes getting older we all die and his liver cant be good hes changed into a totally different man we hung out at the pool we went in the boat it was fun i haven't had non drug fun in years and years
this text is slanted
very very sharply slanted i wrotw past the part where I started before i stratarted trippping balls an having such great visuals and loving everyone i think i came up here to see the solubility of sub bc was going to jmake mass batch that it is tram wds 24mg is the cceilings periods can go no higher but rather simply iv 8mg which is like putting 3 8 mg pills undr ur tongue i think ill do that bc can't snort sinus infection been taking under tongue which works fine except i'd truly rather iv 8mg equal to the ceiling of 24mg
as i write and we foot race on the floor on the side fast the right side brian wins and she saw my track marcks today and i told her bug bite it was convincin bc i showed her for the firt time 1 place on each arm where veins are clumped up due to blowing out your veins and its a little knot
althou8gh i wi8sh the text would come back its moving northeast as i type wow thank you it's back i don't think i should describe it now because i am high the reason i am writing is because i love you and because fuck i comnpletely forgot
dod u c a beautifuil mind? you jow how numbers aaaand letters are 3d to him and jump and ride the train trail of letters numbers i can c them
okay i was able some how to actually read your email i was going to reply but now i forget the screen looks like pills i think everyone should b ; like this every day worlda batter place
breathe
accept
the visions
its cooll bc i feel like your here right now did u come thru the computer
that is a good woman she is one of us i know as i see all right now
i will be sucessfull
i will have money
we will be friends
we will one hundred precent hook up in person brian. we have too.
this is what will happen
i will get this job
i will make mad money and pay off debt
i will get my tolerance down so not stratight up addiction
but rather pleasure
you will be doing well at your job
when the time is right, we will order a shitload of the best in class i.e. micron filters perfect needles and lots of Dormicum, lots of Ritalin, lots of Xanax, bromaz, tram, pheno, val the fuckin works brother
and we will spend one or two days together, just you and I, in a cheap motel room with a SHIT load of drugs, a narcan needle prepped in case of OD, do not disturb on the door, all my new gear and the new tricks I've learned, a medical grade blood pressure monitor (Check).....
really the only thing that will be missing is a buncha cheap booze but the only alcohol will be primarily the kind in insulin wipes and at the very most, personally, would be 1.5 ounce of high quality scotch as i quit drinking but then realized what ur missin if don't consume one to two standard drinks yet still have a pure benzo high
i'm really high atm, should probably sleep,
but we will have our "Fear & Loathing"”
Conclusion:
It’s interesting to read it again, it’s basically a stream of consciousness with the (very vivid) visuals I was having inserted… I remember being amazed that I could even type it, and frankly I still am. I was also amazed that I was not only having visuals, but feeling the visuals, as in when I was “chiseling the text” my hands felt as if they were doing the work.
I certainly did open up… not just telling my friend I love him, but talking about my dad… I’ve tripped on LSD, DXM is a poor man’s acid, at best, they really shouldn’t be compared at all other than the fact that both are hallucinogens.
Perhaps I will do DXM again, if so I’ll chronicle it so that I have something concrete to look back on not just dead brain cells… however, NOT Delsym which is ER, I’ve heard it’s hard on your body as well.
In addition, I always have on hand diazepam, lorazepam, and alprazolam, as well as frequently temazepam and other hypnotics. I really don’t like clonazepam, so I either take only a third of my dose or sometimes none at all, substituting most often diazepam- I do this to keep my tolerance from rising, as it’s been more or less steady over the last several years with spikes every few months from recreational hypnotic use, IV midazolam being my favorite.
Below is an email I wrote to a friend while high on DXM (the experience written while under the influence).
The circumstances preceding the trip are as follows: I sometimes take tramadol as bupe doesn’t block it. Approximately 3 weeks prior to my DXM experience, I got a large quantity of both tramadol and phenobarbital. Pheno is an inducer for tramadol, thus more tramadol is converted to its more powerful M1 metabolite. Add to that the fact that pheno is a barbiturate- this is a RISKY game, I DO NOT advise it as mixing just about anything with barbiturates can very easily be DEADLY, add to that the fact the pheno has a half-life of 5 days… I can feel it for a good 3 full days, so you can’t undo what you’ve taken.
That said, I found the phenobarbital plus tramadol combo (while also on Suboxone, clonazepam, and other benzos) got me very, very high… it didn’t feel like the “speedy high” someone without tolerance may get from tramadol either, it felt like I was under the influence of a full mu agonist.
I’d never before taken more than 450mg, as 400 is the max daily amount or else you risk seizure. However, not only was I on a plethora of benzos (also induced by phenobarbital, having the undesired effect of quicker elimination) but I was on pheno, which is itself an anticonvulsant. I thus felt comfortable taking up to 800mg of tramadol while on 300 to 500mg of pheno (note that barbs are cross tolerant with benzos, someone without a benzo tolerance such as I should never touch that kind of dose!)
Prior to this I’d never taken tramadol for more than 3 days at a time with 7 to 10 day breaks in between. Yet, for 3 weeks I was taking 800mg tram daily and pheno every third day. I realized I was addicted and quit cold turkey which was NOT fun…
While trying to deal with the W/Ds, one night I drank a bottle and a half of Delsym. They were the largest bottles available- I hadn’t abused DXM since I was 14, at the time I believe the bottles were 4 and 8 ounces. However, I believe these were only 5, yet more potent, as it was written rather large, “Refer to new dosing guidelines” and had a ton of DXM per ml, albeit in extended release form.
“this is very difficult to write atm- not unpleasant, just very very slow- so I was tired of tram w/ds, hell, my fuckin pupils look like i'm in sub w/ds, anyway my throat was sore then i remembered the erowid.org on DXM and how you can't trip if you're on an SSRI b/c you'll get serotonin syndrome, so I figured I take lots of drugs with norep. already which is one half of tram but none with serot. whihc is the other half of tram,
at first was measurings doses, then decided fuck it and i drank 1 and a half of the large size this screen is a mirror bottles of Delsym. I love that shit even tho its been over a decade since last time.
first "discovered" as leaves fall on me it when I was a teen-
had never seen it in a store before, had fuckin bronchitis but fuck i'm all state needed to play in the game doc says go downstairs an get delsym i don't shake bottle take a SMALL sip get nice fast head rush which becomes high and lasts throughout game actually helped.
it was bf all the shit on the news, no one knew about, APAP in cough syrup or that it's the DXM that gets you high etc but the del is ultra concenstrated, pure DXM, 12 hour extended release.
as i right this i am tripping balls it is fantastic. sucked earlier bc was looking at screeen but could not see was looking thourgh screen
but now i'm chiseling the text like the ancient greeks im on a latter i can literally see the slab
lord these visuals are fuckin unreal i cant believe im high on cough syrup
how incredible the text is 3D and it's in layers now it sse twirling that was intense wow and te text reflects as teh keyboard is a mirror although my hands sink into it like a moist wet vagainai
i feeel like i'm coming out of the whomb as the screen explodes or comin in my face i dodnt know what is below i began first but the visuals get more intense
i'm very happy now I really like you Brian and i'm glad we're friends fighting is no fun and no one should die alone this is by far the best ive ever felt in my life
wall on which i write earlier i was paranoid but came upstairs to type to friend brian and friend brian made itall okay and halepd walk me thru the clouds and teh t trip and there's a train
i dont know what ive written above except that i love you brian im not going to proof read beaceae new letters the creation of is of paramount importance and the world day to day life is really not what they tell you
there's so much more i don't want to talk about whatever it is i started typed below at first i just want to love life also my dad loves me now im very sincere as I type in water drops literally he told me on the phone i went to his house today for fathers day for first time since ive moved here got teh scup from dads wife that it was good i gave him time to get over all that shit and start to build trust and respect and then i came ove r today and he was sincerely happy that i was there and vice versa
and i know i'm tripping really hard but it is truth that what happened with my dad and I today it was the closest we've ever been since ive been alive hes become more open now its incredible and i have earned his trust (Writing on brick wall now btw) and that means a shit load to me man
fuck i thik evry dude wants his father to approve of him ive gone fronm punching him in the face whe n he was drunk as shit and i was 13 to him leaving at 16 (now writing on a pillow btw) to having what i thought at the time was the best reltionship ive ever had with my dad when i got sober in wa state
but then he loathed me after the relapse and during my depression and would scream fuck at me
yet hes getting older we all die and his liver cant be good hes changed into a totally different man we hung out at the pool we went in the boat it was fun i haven't had non drug fun in years and years
this text is slanted
very very sharply slanted i wrotw past the part where I started before i stratarted trippping balls an having such great visuals and loving everyone i think i came up here to see the solubility of sub bc was going to jmake mass batch that it is tram wds 24mg is the cceilings periods can go no higher but rather simply iv 8mg which is like putting 3 8 mg pills undr ur tongue i think ill do that bc can't snort sinus infection been taking under tongue which works fine except i'd truly rather iv 8mg equal to the ceiling of 24mg
as i write and we foot race on the floor on the side fast the right side brian wins and she saw my track marcks today and i told her bug bite it was convincin bc i showed her for the firt time 1 place on each arm where veins are clumped up due to blowing out your veins and its a little knot
althou8gh i wi8sh the text would come back its moving northeast as i type wow thank you it's back i don't think i should describe it now because i am high the reason i am writing is because i love you and because fuck i comnpletely forgot
dod u c a beautifuil mind? you jow how numbers aaaand letters are 3d to him and jump and ride the train trail of letters numbers i can c them
okay i was able some how to actually read your email i was going to reply but now i forget the screen looks like pills i think everyone should b ; like this every day worlda batter place
breathe
accept
the visions
its cooll bc i feel like your here right now did u come thru the computer
that is a good woman she is one of us i know as i see all right now
i will be sucessfull
i will have money
we will be friends
we will one hundred precent hook up in person brian. we have too.
this is what will happen
i will get this job
i will make mad money and pay off debt
i will get my tolerance down so not stratight up addiction
but rather pleasure
you will be doing well at your job
when the time is right, we will order a shitload of the best in class i.e. micron filters perfect needles and lots of Dormicum, lots of Ritalin, lots of Xanax, bromaz, tram, pheno, val the fuckin works brother
and we will spend one or two days together, just you and I, in a cheap motel room with a SHIT load of drugs, a narcan needle prepped in case of OD, do not disturb on the door, all my new gear and the new tricks I've learned, a medical grade blood pressure monitor (Check).....
really the only thing that will be missing is a buncha cheap booze but the only alcohol will be primarily the kind in insulin wipes and at the very most, personally, would be 1.5 ounce of high quality scotch as i quit drinking but then realized what ur missin if don't consume one to two standard drinks yet still have a pure benzo high
i'm really high atm, should probably sleep,
but we will have our "Fear & Loathing"”
Conclusion:
It’s interesting to read it again, it’s basically a stream of consciousness with the (very vivid) visuals I was having inserted… I remember being amazed that I could even type it, and frankly I still am. I was also amazed that I was not only having visuals, but feeling the visuals, as in when I was “chiseling the text” my hands felt as if they were doing the work.
I certainly did open up… not just telling my friend I love him, but talking about my dad… I’ve tripped on LSD, DXM is a poor man’s acid, at best, they really shouldn’t be compared at all other than the fact that both are hallucinogens.
Perhaps I will do DXM again, if so I’ll chronicle it so that I have something concrete to look back on not just dead brain cells… however, NOT Delsym which is ER, I’ve heard it’s hard on your body as well.
