Ancient Mariness
Bluelighter
Pre-Trip
Last night was my first experience with DXM, though I’d been considering it and reading about it for some time. Yesterday, I was straightening house and found the bottle of Robitussin Cough I’d purchased several months ago. For some reason, I took the package off my kitchen shelf, examined it, and put it back for the time being. I had to go to work that afternoon and wouldn’t be free until 9 pm, so I was in no rush to decide anything.
What’s pretty traditional with me is that I like to take a catnap before work. I laid down on my sofa for 30 minutes. In that time, I had dreams of a hallucinogenic quality. At one point, my eyes saw nothing, but my ears were hearing entire conversations and songs. When I awoke for work, my first thought was, “I have to go now, but I’d like to come back.” I took it as a positive sign that it might finally be try to try DXM.
I ate a sandwich around 4 because I was ravenous, but nothing afterward. On my way home from work, the best songs were on the radio including one I’d had on my mind that day (Brandy from Looking Glass, haha), so I took that as another good sign. Upon arrival, I light my ubiquitous incense, took a shower, and grabbed the 4 oz. bottle.
Based on information from the DXM FAQ that I think I found through a link on this site, I determined that I should drink the entire bottle to get to higher second plateau, which is where I wanted to go. Also based on a helpful technique from that same FAQ, I plugged my nose before I had gotten a whiff of the syrup, drank it, drank a bottle of water, brushed my teeth, used mouthwash, and only then did I release my nose. Ah success, I never tasted anything nasty.
Trip
I went into my living room, smoked a bowl, and popped in a movie someone had just lent me called City of Ember. As I got into watching it I had the uncharacteristic desire to shut off some lamps; usually I cannot get enough light, but this time I wanted it so that only my red lightbulb, my candles, and my Christmas lights were contributing. This movie was a about a city in a cave, so I wanted my home to feel like a cave.
My captivation in the movie kept rising and rising, it was becoming a completely intense theatrical experience. I began to notice strange pressures on my body, like when I would grab my water bottle, I felt like I was springing up against some force that wanted me to remain still.
Then I felt like I was going to be sick. Never having taken this substance before, I wasn’t fully prepared for my unsteadiness walking. I felt like I barely knew how to walk and had to consider each step carefully. By the time I got to the bathroom, I felt awful and was acutely aware that the possibility to panic was there. I felt like I was a child and this was the worst flu I’d ever had; in other words I felt scared. I hugged the porcelain for my life (good thing I keep my toilet clean!), but ended up laying my head on the cool floor instead of puking. This is when the trip came on full force.
I saw shapes, mostly squares dancing around, and I felt some ability to interact with them. I just laid on the bathroom floor and felt safe in my mind. The geometry was astonishingly intricate, such that I’d never seen on any other drug. I felt I could also see myself lying there, though I cannot, in a sober state, recollect on which of the myriad, intersecting planes I might have been. After enjoying this beautiful shape-shifting for a spell, my sickness abated. I tentatively opened my eyes, not really wanting to leave the Inside Space yet. After a few more minutes gathering my strength, I stood up as though for the first time in my life. I felt like a baby stretching and balancing in ways I’d never done before.
Back in my living room, I put on Mindcrime by Queensryche accompanied by some MilkDrop visualizations. Well, I only needed to look at that for about one second before my own mind was making it upon my closed eyelids. This album is a trip unto itself, and it was mind-blowing in my state. There were ups and downs, fears and triumphs, with everything being visualized by myself with closed eyes. I felt like I was in a lucid dream, only better, because I had no apprehension that any moment I would wake up and lose the magic I was experiencing. I full-on hallucinated for my first time, seeing my room to be scenes from the album. When these would gradually fade and my living room take over, I only had to close my eyes and I was back in what I would characterize as the most incredible closed-eye experience of my life.
I felt like I was inside of my imagination with immunity from the outside world, should I choose to heighten the intensity and journey farther away from what I knew. When I felt the need to draw back a little, I could feel my limbs floating in space and I’d see myself back on my sofa. I alternated between journeying far and recognizing my presence in my living room, so that I could go places and not be afraid. I went with innocent curiosity because on some level I knew I could pull back to my couch whenever I needed to.
One interesting thing is that the images sometimes seemed 3-D and other times completely flat like I was looking at a storybook. Throughout it all there was an emphasis on fractals and squares as opposed to mushrooms which take a more swirling, circular accent for me. The visualizations waxed and waned with the music, creating an all-encompassing psychedelic experience. I’ve seen The Wall (not tripping at the time) and I remember thinking last night that my brain was tripping like whoever drew that movie (though with a different emotional quality). But some of the features were similar. I remember thinking, as I tripped to Mindcrime, do we all have similar trips when listening to the same thing?
Socially, I felt extremely connected to my brother throughout this. It was he who gave me the album several years ago and told me to let my mind run with it, to let it be a journey which I take every time I listen to it. I know that he has tripped to it, and I felt like we were together. When the album ended, I floated in air enjoying the Inside Space a bit more, then turned on City of Ember again. I don’t remember as much about finishing the movie, only an extraordinarily strong sense of déjà vu.
The body high on DXM was fascinating and very prominent for me. At some points, there was almost too much pressure bearing down on me, like I was being squished from all sides. Other times, I felt a burning sensation of pins and needles, and this would make me itch my body in an attempt to alleviate it. Other times, my entire body felt like it was having an orgasm, and I was moved to tears by how pleasurable it felt all over, an orgasm in my limbs, my trunk, and my brain as much as my sexual organs. To be honest, my body is getting warm and excited just thinking about how good it felt. Another physical aspect is that my words came out normally. I felt like I more or less retained my capacity to communicate through language which I haven’t had much success with on other psychedelics where my mouth would just form nonsense. Not so, last night I was speaking like sober (well, that's what I thought, I didn't tape record myself or anything!)
I didn’t look at any clocks, so I don’t know the timeframe, but after awhile, the vibrancy and energy faded and I felt so tired that I just wanted to be in my bed. It was very hard getting there, I kept feeling seasick along the way and having to sit down (which is pretty funny if you see how small my apartment is). I got in, and my memory is gone until I awoke this morning at 10 am feeling hunky dory.
Post-Trip
I am in shock of how amazing that was. I had delayed trying DXM for a long time because I just wasn’t sure in my heart, but all the signs yesterday pointed to trying it. I went in hopeful and was vastly rewarded. It seems like if your trip gets a little good, it just gets exponentially better. I’ve never had a bad trip before, so I cannot even imagine the reverse. (Is it inevitable to have a bad trip at some point, has is happened to everyone, or do we all have the power to direct ourselves away…?)
I think what I am most impressed about by DXM is the ability to use your own imagination, visualization, and creativity to direct the course of your trip. I felt like I had a very active role in determining what would go down, and I loved the sensation of being inside my brain, the Inside Space. In fact, at one point, I could see myself standing inside my head looking outward. I felt very safe to explore because I knew where I was.
Anyway, my brain and body basically feel top-notch today. I feel refreshed and excited about the days to come, as I normally do after a psychedelic experience. I do manifest several symptoms though. My eyelids feel swollen and bloated, though they appear normal. Also my back, shoulders, chest, breasts, and neck are red and itchy. Not really sure what’s going on there, but it’s not a bad price at all for what I was privileged to experience last night.
Thanks for reading it!
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THanks
