Peppermint Fear
Bluelighter
- Joined
- Nov 21, 2006
- Messages
- 316
Before I get started, I'll clue everyone in on my past psychedelic and other-drug experience. I got drunk for the first time in Germany when I was 17, and didn't drink again until I was 18. A few months after my 18th birthday, I had to get surgery on my nasal passages - I've had a running nose/cold symptoms for about 12 years. While the surgery didn't really work (helped, but my nose still sucks at its job), my doctor did give me an unnecessary prescription for Vicodin. A little research and I was getting high every night, enjoying everything these little pills had to offer. The thought that little white pills could make me feel so good fascinated me, and left me wondering what else was out there.
Skip ahead through my discovery of Erowid, first time smoking weed (fell in love), experience with morphine, shrooms (twice), and plenty of nights spent in my room listening to blaring techno and dancing myself straight to euphoria. There are few things better than taking a walk and smoking a bowl with some nice music and the occaisional cigarette, but I prefer to have a purpose to my walks, so I figured I'd journey the three or so miles to Fred Meyer for some DXM (DexAlone brand, a 10 pack of 30mg gelcaps with only DXM). The bowl I had smoked was pure kif (my Friday night plans evaporated so I had to treat myself to something interesting!) and by the time I made it home I was so incredibly tired that I didn't think I'd be able to stay awake for the DXM, so I decided to try it the next day.
The next morning the anticipation was killing me. I consider myself a beginning psychonaut, and I want to get my psychedelic experiences done with during my college years. My goal is, above all, to have a good time, but I am also very much interested in the powerful introspective learning qualities of psychedelic drugs. At around 5pm I decided I had held off long enough. Going off of maybe a bite or two of chinese food in the early afternoon, my stomach was nice and empty and I had smoked a small bowl to relax myself.
I took 210mg at first, due to the uncertainty of the drug's effects. The next hour consisted of me taking a walk, grabbing some food, and feeling incredibly uncomfortable and anxious. This is most likely due to the fact that I had no idea what to expect or when to expect it.
The effects came on at about t+00:45, and it simply felt like a really good high. My vision was a tiny bit shaky but nothing unmanageable, and I felt as I expected I might - similar to drunk and high, yet more euphoric than feel-good.
I called a friend up and told him what I had done, and asked if he'd like to smoke a bowl or two. He said he was on his way to do just that, and I agreed to meet up with him at our mutual friend's house about 10 minutes walking distance from my dorm room. On the way over I took the last three DXM pills I had, totaling 300mg. Upon arrival, I was feeling pretty good but I knew I was still coming up. Nonetheless, I smoked bowl after bowl with my friends. My only fear was that it might overpower the DXM high; boy, was I wrong!
We sat around in his kitchen, and talked about who had the biggest pupils. Marijuana was no match for DXM, and I won handily. As we were about to leave, I became very excited to learn that I could no longer feel my arms. They began to rise, and I felt as though I had just pushed against a doorway for a long period and let go. With my arms naturally rising, and myself quite high and happy, we returned to campus. I left them to go to my room, where I stumbled across paradise.
The DXM was in full effect at about t+1:30. The period from about +1:30 to +4:30 is a blur of wonder. I'll outline the key event during this period:
- Smoked weed twice and a cigarette. Weed intensified the experience greatly, and the cigarette smoothed out edges.
- Talked in ventrilo (voice communication program) with a good friend from across the country on 2C-B and a friend in Alaska, who decided to take DXM for the first time as well (though he didn't actually take it until much later). This was an amazing time, we played music, chatted, and the whole time I felt like the world was picking and choosing beautiful sensations to show me; though most of them were a tease, and they left as soon as they came. I felt disconnected (dissociated, anyone?) from my body, and music was both amazing and intolerable at the same time - hard to explain. The visuals consisted of what I can only call robo vision. Choppy, "laggy" feelings.
- Playing video games was out of the question. Counterstrike scared the hell out of me and did not make any sense. I think the large amount of weed in me said "why are you killing these people?" and the DXM in me said "dude, you can't feel your arms, bro!!! you love me!"
At one point, there was a wave of pure intensity that overtook my whole body and mindset. What was once a wonderful, fun high turned to imminent death. This requires a bit of explanation:
Ever since I have been a kid, I have occaisionally sat in my bed at night with nothing to do but ponder. And if I ponder hard enough, I can send myself into a temporary state that I can only describe as pure, unadultered and unfiltered reality. This experience is both incredible horrifying and extremely enticing. I often bring myself to this thought pattern knowing how evil it is and how over-the-top it is, only to regret it the instance it hits. I have to sit up and mumble to myself "I do exist, this is all real, the world is real" over and over. If I don't, I (albeit irrationally) fear I may drop out of existence. This all happens when I'm totally sober. This thought process has been my one true fear in life, and I still have no idea how to put its pure intensity into words.
DXM brought that thought out in an incredible way. On shrooms, I got intense thoughts, but on DXM, I got that thought. And it was all okay. I felt death coming, felt for sure I had just died; but with a few moments of sitting down and relaxing, I felt okay again. I would later find that these would came in waves for about 36 more hours, each one less intense than the last. It was at this point that I realized I was into something powerful.
I had to get out to smoke a cigarette (I am not a smoker, I have had the same pack of cigarettes for about a month). Right now I have no idea how I handled the intensity of the experience, but I did with ease.
A few minutes later, at around midnight (t+6:00, still tripping nicely) a friend from out of town called to say he was picking me up in 30 minutes to drive me 2 hours south to the University of Oregon for a party. "Fuck it" I thought, and agreed to leave this extreme paradise I was enjoying.
Ok, so I just realized I wrote waaay too much about DXM, and I only covered about half the trip. If you want to hear about my trip to Eugene, and where things got uncomfortable, let me know. I have to get to class now though =)
Skip ahead through my discovery of Erowid, first time smoking weed (fell in love), experience with morphine, shrooms (twice), and plenty of nights spent in my room listening to blaring techno and dancing myself straight to euphoria. There are few things better than taking a walk and smoking a bowl with some nice music and the occaisional cigarette, but I prefer to have a purpose to my walks, so I figured I'd journey the three or so miles to Fred Meyer for some DXM (DexAlone brand, a 10 pack of 30mg gelcaps with only DXM). The bowl I had smoked was pure kif (my Friday night plans evaporated so I had to treat myself to something interesting!) and by the time I made it home I was so incredibly tired that I didn't think I'd be able to stay awake for the DXM, so I decided to try it the next day.
The next morning the anticipation was killing me. I consider myself a beginning psychonaut, and I want to get my psychedelic experiences done with during my college years. My goal is, above all, to have a good time, but I am also very much interested in the powerful introspective learning qualities of psychedelic drugs. At around 5pm I decided I had held off long enough. Going off of maybe a bite or two of chinese food in the early afternoon, my stomach was nice and empty and I had smoked a small bowl to relax myself.
I took 210mg at first, due to the uncertainty of the drug's effects. The next hour consisted of me taking a walk, grabbing some food, and feeling incredibly uncomfortable and anxious. This is most likely due to the fact that I had no idea what to expect or when to expect it.
The effects came on at about t+00:45, and it simply felt like a really good high. My vision was a tiny bit shaky but nothing unmanageable, and I felt as I expected I might - similar to drunk and high, yet more euphoric than feel-good.
I called a friend up and told him what I had done, and asked if he'd like to smoke a bowl or two. He said he was on his way to do just that, and I agreed to meet up with him at our mutual friend's house about 10 minutes walking distance from my dorm room. On the way over I took the last three DXM pills I had, totaling 300mg. Upon arrival, I was feeling pretty good but I knew I was still coming up. Nonetheless, I smoked bowl after bowl with my friends. My only fear was that it might overpower the DXM high; boy, was I wrong!
We sat around in his kitchen, and talked about who had the biggest pupils. Marijuana was no match for DXM, and I won handily. As we were about to leave, I became very excited to learn that I could no longer feel my arms. They began to rise, and I felt as though I had just pushed against a doorway for a long period and let go. With my arms naturally rising, and myself quite high and happy, we returned to campus. I left them to go to my room, where I stumbled across paradise.
The DXM was in full effect at about t+1:30. The period from about +1:30 to +4:30 is a blur of wonder. I'll outline the key event during this period:
- Smoked weed twice and a cigarette. Weed intensified the experience greatly, and the cigarette smoothed out edges.
- Talked in ventrilo (voice communication program) with a good friend from across the country on 2C-B and a friend in Alaska, who decided to take DXM for the first time as well (though he didn't actually take it until much later). This was an amazing time, we played music, chatted, and the whole time I felt like the world was picking and choosing beautiful sensations to show me; though most of them were a tease, and they left as soon as they came. I felt disconnected (dissociated, anyone?) from my body, and music was both amazing and intolerable at the same time - hard to explain. The visuals consisted of what I can only call robo vision. Choppy, "laggy" feelings.
- Playing video games was out of the question. Counterstrike scared the hell out of me and did not make any sense. I think the large amount of weed in me said "why are you killing these people?" and the DXM in me said "dude, you can't feel your arms, bro!!! you love me!"
At one point, there was a wave of pure intensity that overtook my whole body and mindset. What was once a wonderful, fun high turned to imminent death. This requires a bit of explanation:
Ever since I have been a kid, I have occaisionally sat in my bed at night with nothing to do but ponder. And if I ponder hard enough, I can send myself into a temporary state that I can only describe as pure, unadultered and unfiltered reality. This experience is both incredible horrifying and extremely enticing. I often bring myself to this thought pattern knowing how evil it is and how over-the-top it is, only to regret it the instance it hits. I have to sit up and mumble to myself "I do exist, this is all real, the world is real" over and over. If I don't, I (albeit irrationally) fear I may drop out of existence. This all happens when I'm totally sober. This thought process has been my one true fear in life, and I still have no idea how to put its pure intensity into words.
DXM brought that thought out in an incredible way. On shrooms, I got intense thoughts, but on DXM, I got that thought. And it was all okay. I felt death coming, felt for sure I had just died; but with a few moments of sitting down and relaxing, I felt okay again. I would later find that these would came in waves for about 36 more hours, each one less intense than the last. It was at this point that I realized I was into something powerful.
I had to get out to smoke a cigarette (I am not a smoker, I have had the same pack of cigarettes for about a month). Right now I have no idea how I handled the intensity of the experience, but I did with ease.
A few minutes later, at around midnight (t+6:00, still tripping nicely) a friend from out of town called to say he was picking me up in 30 minutes to drive me 2 hours south to the University of Oregon for a party. "Fuck it" I thought, and agreed to leave this extreme paradise I was enjoying.
Ok, so I just realized I wrote waaay too much about DXM, and I only covered about half the trip. If you want to hear about my trip to Eugene, and where things got uncomfortable, let me know. I have to get to class now though =)
![:\](https://bluelight.org/xf/BL_Images/Orig_Emoji/wrygrin.gif "wry grin :\")
