zombiesarepeaceful
Bluelighter
So around 3:30pm yesterday I dosed half a zimax, chased with coffee and coke.
Keep in mind I've NEVER puked from dxm in my history of dxm use (spanning 2 years).
Around 4pm I smoked a joint and went back inside, got on DVirc and waited for the zimax to kick in. At this point I got impatient, manned up, and chugged the rest of the zimax. Zimax ALWAYS gives me nausea from hell and fucks me over good. But stupid me, thought smoking on the comeup would eliminate the nausea.
Soon after that things started glowing and jumping when I looked at them. I couldn't concentrate on anything, mentally or physically. Everytime I felt myself get a little higher I thought "ok, this is it". But it wasn't. The high was suddenly overpowered by vertigo, a weird pressure in my head that felt like it had to be released or I would die (my bad trips seem to have a theme of dying), nausea, insane OEVs...and I remember thinking fuck, I'm gonna black out. So in an attempt not to puke I grabbed my bag of weed and started smelling it...sometimes just the odor of pot calms my stomach. No such luck this time. The last thing I remember is robostumbling back and forth to my room, convinced I was going to die.
The next thing I remember is coming to my senses with a bag of puke in my hands and thinking WTF I haven't puked in 2-3 years. So I threw the bag in the toilet....thank god our toilet is broken and I couldn't flush it, instead we had a garbage bag stuffed in the toilet bowl that we take out after we use it and I dropped the bag right into a pile of shit and piss. Wonderful Luckily there was no one home or I would've been busted for doing drugs and having weed in my possession.
Anyhow, I was still really fucked up. Puking did relieve the pressure in my head though. Its a good thing I double bag my weed, once in a sandwich bag then a ziploc, because the ziploc was the one I puked into and the bud was safe and sound inside the other bag. I wasn't going to let my bud go to waste, even if it was drenched in shit/piss/vomit so I recovered it and rebagged it...if I hadn't been so disassociated at the time I think I would've left it but my brain didn't quite register what I was doing, only that my drugs were in danger.
So I changed my clothes (thought it would be bad if people came home and found me covered in puke) and went back to my computer. I started tripping harder then, probably the second chugs of zimax kicking in. I freaked out thinking I was gonna go through hell all over again and wake up like I did 20 minutes ago but I tried to calm down and enjoy the trip.
Strange thoughts came to me. I realized that I'm not living. All I do is work, get fucked up, and go home. I have no friends, no family, I don't even have a GED. All my life is drugs and Burger King. Pathetic.
I felt reduced to childhood. I felt like shit. All I could think about was 'I can't take this life' and I had an urge to kill myself but reminded myself I was tripping and I probably wouldn't think like this when I was sober. I just sat there, having one long panic attack and willed my existance to come to an end. Eventually my mom came home and I went to my room and crawled into a fetal position. Trip basically over, I was coming down. I felt so small.
Even bad trips weren't this bad for me when I was new to dxm. I lost the magic a long time ago, yet I still waste my money on dxm when I need it for other things. I know the right thing to do would be lay off the dxm for awhile. But I can't handle being sober. I realized then I only do drugs to mask my depression. And the further I got into dxm the more alienated I became from the world, my only tie left to reality. I'll be thinking about shit for a few days....
There's a 4oz left in my stash but I don't know if I should even drink it. Chances are, I'd have a good trip and think hey, dxm isn't so bad, and want to keep drinking tussin everyday.
I don't know. Just wanted to throw this trip report out there.
substancecode_DXM
Keep in mind I've NEVER puked from dxm in my history of dxm use (spanning 2 years).
Around 4pm I smoked a joint and went back inside, got on DVirc and waited for the zimax to kick in. At this point I got impatient, manned up, and chugged the rest of the zimax. Zimax ALWAYS gives me nausea from hell and fucks me over good. But stupid me, thought smoking on the comeup would eliminate the nausea.
Soon after that things started glowing and jumping when I looked at them. I couldn't concentrate on anything, mentally or physically. Everytime I felt myself get a little higher I thought "ok, this is it". But it wasn't. The high was suddenly overpowered by vertigo, a weird pressure in my head that felt like it had to be released or I would die (my bad trips seem to have a theme of dying), nausea, insane OEVs...and I remember thinking fuck, I'm gonna black out. So in an attempt not to puke I grabbed my bag of weed and started smelling it...sometimes just the odor of pot calms my stomach. No such luck this time. The last thing I remember is robostumbling back and forth to my room, convinced I was going to die.
The next thing I remember is coming to my senses with a bag of puke in my hands and thinking WTF I haven't puked in 2-3 years. So I threw the bag in the toilet....thank god our toilet is broken and I couldn't flush it, instead we had a garbage bag stuffed in the toilet bowl that we take out after we use it and I dropped the bag right into a pile of shit and piss. Wonderful Luckily there was no one home or I would've been busted for doing drugs and having weed in my possession.
Anyhow, I was still really fucked up. Puking did relieve the pressure in my head though. Its a good thing I double bag my weed, once in a sandwich bag then a ziploc, because the ziploc was the one I puked into and the bud was safe and sound inside the other bag. I wasn't going to let my bud go to waste, even if it was drenched in shit/piss/vomit so I recovered it and rebagged it...if I hadn't been so disassociated at the time I think I would've left it but my brain didn't quite register what I was doing, only that my drugs were in danger.
So I changed my clothes (thought it would be bad if people came home and found me covered in puke) and went back to my computer. I started tripping harder then, probably the second chugs of zimax kicking in. I freaked out thinking I was gonna go through hell all over again and wake up like I did 20 minutes ago but I tried to calm down and enjoy the trip.
Strange thoughts came to me. I realized that I'm not living. All I do is work, get fucked up, and go home. I have no friends, no family, I don't even have a GED. All my life is drugs and Burger King. Pathetic.
I felt reduced to childhood. I felt like shit. All I could think about was 'I can't take this life' and I had an urge to kill myself but reminded myself I was tripping and I probably wouldn't think like this when I was sober. I just sat there, having one long panic attack and willed my existance to come to an end. Eventually my mom came home and I went to my room and crawled into a fetal position. Trip basically over, I was coming down. I felt so small.
Even bad trips weren't this bad for me when I was new to dxm. I lost the magic a long time ago, yet I still waste my money on dxm when I need it for other things. I know the right thing to do would be lay off the dxm for awhile. But I can't handle being sober. I realized then I only do drugs to mask my depression. And the further I got into dxm the more alienated I became from the world, my only tie left to reality. I'll be thinking about shit for a few days....
There's a 4oz left in my stash but I don't know if I should even drink it. Chances are, I'd have a good trip and think hey, dxm isn't so bad, and want to keep drinking tussin everyday.
I don't know. Just wanted to throw this trip report out there.
substancecode_DXM
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