slippy sleeveen
Bluelighter
- Joined
- Jan 14, 2006
- Messages
- 558
First to discuss what led to this event... (skip a few paragraphs if you just want to read the actual report)
Dissociatives hold a strong place in my heart. I found Ketamine a few years ago and fell in love right on the spot. The blissful feeling of my body going numb as my mind took over and before I knew it, I was gliding in a fully visual world of sweet,sweet nostalgia. Every moment was filled with the strongest sense of nostalgia you can comprehend. It was as though every moment had been lived an infinite amount of time but each time I lived it, it was stronger due to this everbuilding nostalgia.
I found myself using special k too often...often time 5 or 6 k-holes a week. I decided to cut off slowly, only using once a month. A few months into this program, I was introduced to DXM by a friend. I had always heard of the term "robotripping" but never gave it any mind, because I have tried some strong doses of LSD (900mics+) and dozens of other mind alterning substances so why would I lower myself to drinking cough medication? A bit of an asshole way of thinking, but I had always associated the term robotripping with 16 year old kids trying to get high off their mother's medicine cabinet. Then my friend mentioned it was similar to ketamine, and oh yes, my ears perked up!
I did some research on erowid about DXM, and surely enough, it was a dissociatve, although not really similar to ketamine unless you reach the higher doses. I said f'ck it and decided to try 300mg just to test the waters. I was amazed with the high and genuinely enjoyed the experienced. I decided not to abuse this substances and only use it once every couple of weeks, then the next couple of weeks use k, as such. I was finding my key dosage to be between 500mg and 600mg because it put me deep into a 3rd plateau for about an hour and a half and a comfortable, blissful 2nd plateau surrounding this.
About 2 months ago I decided to try 600mg in the cough gel form with a friend of mine. He was a bit larger and it would be his first time with any dissociative, aside from nitrous, but he begged that he wanted to take a rather large amount. Give the size of this man, about 320lbs, I thought it would be alright. He ended up enjoying the experience, having a second plateau trip, while I felt like I spent a few hours barely hanging on to my life. I felt like I was going to die and it was complete and utter hell.
Fast foward to my experience...
--The End--
I thought that the hellacious experience from two months ago was due to the fact that I had taken the cough gels and they effected me differently. I have been hesistant to attempt DXM again, despite a few special k experiences which were ok at best, due to the fear of the impeding doom scenario to play it itself out again. It was time for me to face my demons and conquer this...so I tried 600mg in syrup form, drank over the course of 45 minutes.
I weight 150lb so this amount usually takes me well into the 3rd plateau. 45 minutes into the experiences, I began to feel that drunk/stoned feeling and put on some music -- LTJ Bukem, my favorite guidance while tripping. Despite some stomach naseau, I was feeling great. Complete and utter bliss as I guided through the music...each song a new journey.
The lights went out as I felt the effects begin to ramp up. That distinct feeling of nostalgia was not present this time... odd. Fun none the less. I begin to lose track of the time because it does not seem to matter anymore. My mood seemed to be competely guided to the music in an odd way. As a track began, my mood was extremely lifted, as though I were setting out on a new adventure. As the music played out, the landscape in my mind changed accordingly. I was never in a negative mood until towards the end up a track, when I would suddenly become depressed. The next song would begin and I felt fine again.
I began to think about a dog of mine, named Lucy, that lives across the ocean from me. I have not been able to see her in such a long time, years, because I have since been in the United States working on my college degree. She had to be put to sleep today by my nanny, due to the fact that Lucy could not move anymore and kept pissing all over herself. I was informed that she was taken to the vet and given a drug that would put her to sleep and dismiss her life in the process. I began to think about what it would be like...to fall to sleep and never wake. To be dreaming and then all of the sudden-- Darkness, fade to black, Null. This depressed me. I am an atheist, though not by choice, I just cannot find myself able to digest any sort of religion and honestly believe in it.
With all of this on my mind, I was sent into thinking about death. Not too wise on my part, to trip on the day that a dog I use to love died, but as of late I have been more optimistic about death, due to a very profound 2C-E experience. This didn't matter though, because I began to think of my own death. I conjured up a black void in my mind that I was not able to escape. No longer were there any beautiful landscapes to climb and explore...I was trapped in a dark void.
I cannot begin to describe this void to you in words. This was the total absence of everything. Pure and total darkness. I felt as though I was falling rapidly. The music in the background was thrashing, out of beat...beats were occurring before they usually were and were completely out of place. The music disappeared completely once I began to try to focus on it...
You know that feeling you have when you are standing next to a cliff or on the edge of the top of a large sky-scraper? Well, I felt this in my head. I thought I had regained control, but then it happened...I fell. My head felt like something was going HORRIBLY wrong...I thought I might have been having a seizure, but I had no clue because I was blind and my hearing was competely absent. I knew this was the end...I would sink into this void deeper and deeper and eventually cease to be.
"I DON'T WANT TO DIE!!" I kept thinking this, over and over. I have been so fearful of death. I was sinking though, and knew that whether death happened now or sometime later in my life, it didn't make a difference. This was death and it was horrific.
I cannot fathom how long I was in this void...it seemed like an eternity, to state a cliche. But yes, it DID feel like an eternity. It was as though I was stuck in this void forever.
I came out, slowly, and then another horror began. I felt as though I had down syndrome. My mind felt permanently screwed up. I attemped to crawl to the computer and look up bluelight and erowid. I could not focus on anything for shit. I had to close one eye and this granted me about 5 seconds of vision until everything blurred into this giant haze of colours. As my mind was still focused on death, anything that even slightly correlated with this concept appeared without a hender.
About 3 hours later, all the while thinking I had been permanently fried, I started to feel better and here I am, the day after, still feeling slightly skewed but I account this to the hangover and the lack of sleep I have. This will be the last time I use any dissociative, even ketamine, until I reach that final dissociative state of death.
Thanks for reading
Dissociatives hold a strong place in my heart. I found Ketamine a few years ago and fell in love right on the spot. The blissful feeling of my body going numb as my mind took over and before I knew it, I was gliding in a fully visual world of sweet,sweet nostalgia. Every moment was filled with the strongest sense of nostalgia you can comprehend. It was as though every moment had been lived an infinite amount of time but each time I lived it, it was stronger due to this everbuilding nostalgia.
I found myself using special k too often...often time 5 or 6 k-holes a week. I decided to cut off slowly, only using once a month. A few months into this program, I was introduced to DXM by a friend. I had always heard of the term "robotripping" but never gave it any mind, because I have tried some strong doses of LSD (900mics+) and dozens of other mind alterning substances so why would I lower myself to drinking cough medication? A bit of an asshole way of thinking, but I had always associated the term robotripping with 16 year old kids trying to get high off their mother's medicine cabinet. Then my friend mentioned it was similar to ketamine, and oh yes, my ears perked up!
I did some research on erowid about DXM, and surely enough, it was a dissociatve, although not really similar to ketamine unless you reach the higher doses. I said f'ck it and decided to try 300mg just to test the waters. I was amazed with the high and genuinely enjoyed the experienced. I decided not to abuse this substances and only use it once every couple of weeks, then the next couple of weeks use k, as such. I was finding my key dosage to be between 500mg and 600mg because it put me deep into a 3rd plateau for about an hour and a half and a comfortable, blissful 2nd plateau surrounding this.
About 2 months ago I decided to try 600mg in the cough gel form with a friend of mine. He was a bit larger and it would be his first time with any dissociative, aside from nitrous, but he begged that he wanted to take a rather large amount. Give the size of this man, about 320lbs, I thought it would be alright. He ended up enjoying the experience, having a second plateau trip, while I felt like I spent a few hours barely hanging on to my life. I felt like I was going to die and it was complete and utter hell.
Fast foward to my experience...
--The End--
I thought that the hellacious experience from two months ago was due to the fact that I had taken the cough gels and they effected me differently. I have been hesistant to attempt DXM again, despite a few special k experiences which were ok at best, due to the fear of the impeding doom scenario to play it itself out again. It was time for me to face my demons and conquer this...so I tried 600mg in syrup form, drank over the course of 45 minutes.
I weight 150lb so this amount usually takes me well into the 3rd plateau. 45 minutes into the experiences, I began to feel that drunk/stoned feeling and put on some music -- LTJ Bukem, my favorite guidance while tripping. Despite some stomach naseau, I was feeling great. Complete and utter bliss as I guided through the music...each song a new journey.
The lights went out as I felt the effects begin to ramp up. That distinct feeling of nostalgia was not present this time... odd. Fun none the less. I begin to lose track of the time because it does not seem to matter anymore. My mood seemed to be competely guided to the music in an odd way. As a track began, my mood was extremely lifted, as though I were setting out on a new adventure. As the music played out, the landscape in my mind changed accordingly. I was never in a negative mood until towards the end up a track, when I would suddenly become depressed. The next song would begin and I felt fine again.
I began to think about a dog of mine, named Lucy, that lives across the ocean from me. I have not been able to see her in such a long time, years, because I have since been in the United States working on my college degree. She had to be put to sleep today by my nanny, due to the fact that Lucy could not move anymore and kept pissing all over herself. I was informed that she was taken to the vet and given a drug that would put her to sleep and dismiss her life in the process. I began to think about what it would be like...to fall to sleep and never wake. To be dreaming and then all of the sudden-- Darkness, fade to black, Null. This depressed me. I am an atheist, though not by choice, I just cannot find myself able to digest any sort of religion and honestly believe in it.
With all of this on my mind, I was sent into thinking about death. Not too wise on my part, to trip on the day that a dog I use to love died, but as of late I have been more optimistic about death, due to a very profound 2C-E experience. This didn't matter though, because I began to think of my own death. I conjured up a black void in my mind that I was not able to escape. No longer were there any beautiful landscapes to climb and explore...I was trapped in a dark void.
I cannot begin to describe this void to you in words. This was the total absence of everything. Pure and total darkness. I felt as though I was falling rapidly. The music in the background was thrashing, out of beat...beats were occurring before they usually were and were completely out of place. The music disappeared completely once I began to try to focus on it...
You know that feeling you have when you are standing next to a cliff or on the edge of the top of a large sky-scraper? Well, I felt this in my head. I thought I had regained control, but then it happened...I fell. My head felt like something was going HORRIBLY wrong...I thought I might have been having a seizure, but I had no clue because I was blind and my hearing was competely absent. I knew this was the end...I would sink into this void deeper and deeper and eventually cease to be.
"I DON'T WANT TO DIE!!" I kept thinking this, over and over. I have been so fearful of death. I was sinking though, and knew that whether death happened now or sometime later in my life, it didn't make a difference. This was death and it was horrific.
I cannot fathom how long I was in this void...it seemed like an eternity, to state a cliche. But yes, it DID feel like an eternity. It was as though I was stuck in this void forever.
I came out, slowly, and then another horror began. I felt as though I had down syndrome. My mind felt permanently screwed up. I attemped to crawl to the computer and look up bluelight and erowid. I could not focus on anything for shit. I had to close one eye and this granted me about 5 seconds of vision until everything blurred into this giant haze of colours. As my mind was still focused on death, anything that even slightly correlated with this concept appeared without a hender.
About 3 hours later, all the while thinking I had been permanently fried, I started to feel better and here I am, the day after, still feeling slightly skewed but I account this to the hangover and the lack of sleep I have. This will be the last time I use any dissociative, even ketamine, until I reach that final dissociative state of death.
Thanks for reading
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