Dissociatives DXM and meditation

[Satori446]

So I have been dosing dxm every day for the last two months. Anywhere from 75mg-225mg every morning. I have gelcaps that are straight dxm. I have developed a ritual around it. I dose on empty stomach and wait to dissolve. Then I eat something and take my morning meds Buporion being one of them. Then I get settled and do vipassana( mindfulness) meditation. I start following the breath Then when my mind becomes settled I pay attention to the feelings of my hands interlocked with thumbs touching. I use tgat as my anchor and keep my attention on it and when my mind wanders I bring it back to my hands. I also will go back to my breath if need be. But the combination of the dxm, superior, and the meditation take me to a place I have never been before. I have done the higher plateaus of dxm over the years and other classic phycadelics when I was younger. Words cant describe the feeling but all I can say is ive been hooked on every drug there is chasing euphoria most of my life but nothing compares to the peace and stillness ive found with this combination. I dont want the dxm to be the reason I have these experiences I just want to potentiate the mindful awareness of the mind. Ive studied and practiced Buddhism and also read mystics like Thomas Merton and Ram Dass. I cant really say anything spiritual happens per se. I do know that I reach a level of such meditative absorption that the intensity and peace has brought tears to my eyes. Ive been tempted to up the dxm dosage as my tolerance has grown but I havent. Thats not the answer. I dont want it to be something I cant stop tomorrow if I had to. Ive been pinned down by chemicals in my life and its no way to live fully. But ive found that sometimes if we can use chemicals in moderation and in a smart and controlled way, they can help push us into levels of consciousness that the mind can only imagine. Just thought id post my experience with this. Perhaps theres someone else out there who vmcan relate.