previous experience with psychedelics: almost nil. just weed which often causes paranoia and a bad trip when taken at the tail end of a pinger. (though the tail end is the only time i take it around pills)
*I have had 300mg dose in the past and it was a euphoric pleasant experience.
This gave me the confidence to do a higher dose as i did not experience any symptoms of an enzyme deficiency.
i was planning to do this for a few days. i stopped taking my ssris's the few days leading up in a naive attempt at reducing possible serotonin syndrome.
(note: they are for social anxiety not depression)
Im sure it is dangerous to take dxm when on ssri's, but i was ignorant i guess, anway here's the trip report. im writing it 14hours after dosing. i wrote notes for the first few hours.
7:30pm
begin drinking from bottle (dxm Hbr).
a bit of come up jitters
- i take 5mg Valium to assist.
8:00
finished bottle (600mg).
starting to feel tipsy
8:13
starting to kick in
full bodied heavy sort of feeling
8:24
i put on pink floyd comfortably numb, and that is exactly how i feel.
8:39
Im now feeling the effects even more so. my body is getting heavier and i feel it's coming on. Im alone in the house on the top floor except for my little sister (18y.o.) dowstairs. I walk downstairs to check on her, almost just to check to see if i was still able to act sober. I was. As i headed back up the stairs, i looked up at the stairs and i had a flashback of an old trippy movie i watched as a child, possibly the Labyrinth (not sure though). It was an old memory and caused me to google the movie to see if i could remember it, but i wasn't sure.
9pm
went back downstairs. watched a few minutes of Big Brother with my sister.
i started thinking this could be a bad way to cause a bad trip (you could start believing big brother was watching you in the sense of the Truman show - but this didn't happen so it was fine)
I went back upstairs and as i walked up, i felt like i was leaving a part of myself behind me with each few steps. It was like my brain was switching off it's conscious awareness shortly but repeatedly, resulting in slightly confused thoughts as to what i had just done.
9:11
Often when im in a slightly different state of mind, whether it be on drugs or a hangover or in a sleepy state, i remember past dreams.
Im on my bed upstairs now with music on and start remembering dreams from the previous night. I write down the unusual dream i had, but it's not worth mentioning here, it's just about my friends and some strange festival thing on a beach with greyhound races. haha.
~9:30
i get a message on my phone from a number which doesn't display a contact name. the message is "it's sweet"
I get confused and wonder if i send out a radom message, but my sent box is empty. I look at the number to try and see if i recognise it. It is at this point that i realise the cognitive function of my brain is severely hampered and i find it hard to keep concentration for more than 10 or so seconds at a time. it is a feeling i get when i smoke weed.. (god i hate weed)
Now this random message is really getting to me. The number does look famillar. almost like my own number. no it can't be. i write the number down on paper because i can't concentrate enough to read it out all at once to myself.
no luck, its not my number.
I decide to bite the bullet, compose myself, and call the number.
Some-one answers, im a bit confused for a few moments, but i realise that it is a mate who often sends me a message when he is supposed to send the message to another friend (similar names)
He is out in the city and tells me to come out and i tell him i'll think about it. I start sounding really insecure and he sense it and says that he really wants me to come out hand have a drink. i know that im giving the wrong impression in the phone call because i don't actually want to come out. Anyway its a really awkward phone call and we end up haning up on each other.. sort of.
Whenever this mate calls me, his number never shows up, and the only reason for that was that i must have his number in my phone multiple times.
I decide to fix this. I have no idea how i managed this in the state of my scattered mind, but i ended up finding his number entered as a second time under "ran" for "random". i must have put his phone number in my phone a long time ago when i got a missed call or a prank call or somthing.
MY MIND IS CLEAR NOW!
i throw my hands out and say yesss, Napoleon dynamite style. very lame, but it felt good. lol.
10:01
i take another 5mg valium.
i notice slight visual distortions in the side of my eyes. this is the only visual hallucinations i saw the whole trip, so bascially i had none.
This is where i stop taking notes, and where it turns unusual/confronting.
I decide to head downstairs to talk to my sister who's watching tv.
Usually we're comfortable around each other, but not open.
I decide to ask her about drugs 8)
I ask her if she has ever done any and she says no, maybe tried to smoke a bit of weed but it didn't work.
I end up telling her that im on something, and at first she thinks im joking, but she realises that with the way im acting, im not.
She is very oblivious to the world of drugs.
Somehow, i start opening up and i tell her that im on Anti-depressants.
What followed was probably the most difficult conversations of my life.
Not because i didn't want to say what i was saying (the dxm was making me very honest and open), but because it was just so hard to get out a full sentence and keep my train of thought.
My sister was basically being my trip sitter and reminding me the last thing i was saying.
I basically went back to the very beggining of the start of a phobia i had developed when i was young, and talked about how it progressed and worsened, and how i ended up being prescribed anti depressents and valium.
This conversation was the first time i had actually went back to the "root" of the problem. Infact she was more than my trip sitter, she was more like my psychologist.
Without going into my personal details, it was a HUGE weight lifted off my shoulder and i felt sooo good that i had conversed the specifics of the issues with my phobia.
It probably took about 2 hours to spit all that out to my sister, but it was well worth it and she was very good about it.
I should note that i was lying on a couch during this, and at times my legs and voice were shaking, and when telling a certain story, i cried a little and so we hugged
Unfortunately at the same time as i was opening up, i was also wanting to enjoy the trip and would occassionaly sort of nod off, but i didn't want to be rude to my sister haha. and i knew that i was benefiting a lot from this experience so thats why i kept at it.
12 midnight
Tired, we both decide to go upstairs to bed. i was still very much affected by the drug, but could talk a little easier.
I was sitting on my bed and my sister came in and actually starting expressing herself and her own issues. She actually was experiencing her own problems in life that i was unaware of. I began to get a little worried for her, and because i was tripping a bit, i actually got scared for HER life.
Then she mentioned something about how she was going on DETOX next week, she had mentioned this previously, but this time it suddenly hit me, "WHAT THE HELL??? detox is for people doing drugs." (this was my thought at the time)
I came startled and jumped back on the bed, for a few moments, i thought that my sister sitting next to me was actually me talking to myself, meaning that for the past few hours i had been talking to absolutely no-body.
but she noticed that i was startled, so i asked her "why are you on detox", and she explained that it was nothing to do with drugs, and so i comforted myself and realised that i wasn't imainging her talking to me. PHEWWW THAT WOULD HAVE BEEN A HEAD FUCK! lol.
It wasn't the most pleasant experiences being so bloody difficult to talk on it, would have been so much easier if i had taken MDMA and talked to her and lifted this weight off my shoulder, but i think that it was almost like what happened last night was supposed to happen. It was only by accident (and lack of self control) that my dxm trip turned into a therapy session with my sister.
And yeah that's about it.
Went to bed at 1am, woke up at 8am, cooked breakfast for her for the first time (rest of family are away), and i just feel great today.
I've been talking to her openly this morning and i've been conveying things i've learnt about positive thinking and being yourself etc etc...
Thoughts? sorry for the long report.
Oh and also, would you say i was a high 2nd plateau or what?
And an afterthought, my sister today said that it wasn't initially completely obvious that i was under the influence of drugs, even though i was having trouble concentrating and needed consistent help with what i was talking about, and she said this is because i am often like this. I actually believe i also have ADD problems (she agrees with me) which i am going to peruse in the near future. i wonder if that was partially why it was so hard for me to explain myself?
I do find it hard sometimes to express my self when i'm completely sober. i need to pause quite often to think what im trying to say.
Even at work, people are almost amazed at how professional my written work is compared to when they're talking to me. but even with writing things, i stagger a lot on words and always pause trying to get out what im actually trying to say... so it takes me a long time to write things. PARTICULARLY THIS TRIP REPORT!!! (my first one i believe
)
Cheers!!!
edit: one side effect to note, (other than the legs shaking), was my neck seemed to get quite stiff and heavy. like it was telling me to lie down.
*I have had 300mg dose in the past and it was a euphoric pleasant experience.
This gave me the confidence to do a higher dose as i did not experience any symptoms of an enzyme deficiency.
i was planning to do this for a few days. i stopped taking my ssris's the few days leading up in a naive attempt at reducing possible serotonin syndrome.
(note: they are for social anxiety not depression)
Im sure it is dangerous to take dxm when on ssri's, but i was ignorant i guess, anway here's the trip report. im writing it 14hours after dosing. i wrote notes for the first few hours.
7:30pm
begin drinking from bottle (dxm Hbr).
a bit of come up jitters
- i take 5mg Valium to assist.
8:00
finished bottle (600mg).
starting to feel tipsy
8:13
starting to kick in
full bodied heavy sort of feeling
8:24
i put on pink floyd comfortably numb, and that is exactly how i feel.
8:39
Im now feeling the effects even more so. my body is getting heavier and i feel it's coming on. Im alone in the house on the top floor except for my little sister (18y.o.) dowstairs. I walk downstairs to check on her, almost just to check to see if i was still able to act sober. I was. As i headed back up the stairs, i looked up at the stairs and i had a flashback of an old trippy movie i watched as a child, possibly the Labyrinth (not sure though). It was an old memory and caused me to google the movie to see if i could remember it, but i wasn't sure.
9pm
went back downstairs. watched a few minutes of Big Brother with my sister.
i started thinking this could be a bad way to cause a bad trip (you could start believing big brother was watching you in the sense of the Truman show - but this didn't happen so it was fine)
I went back upstairs and as i walked up, i felt like i was leaving a part of myself behind me with each few steps. It was like my brain was switching off it's conscious awareness shortly but repeatedly, resulting in slightly confused thoughts as to what i had just done.
9:11
Often when im in a slightly different state of mind, whether it be on drugs or a hangover or in a sleepy state, i remember past dreams.
Im on my bed upstairs now with music on and start remembering dreams from the previous night. I write down the unusual dream i had, but it's not worth mentioning here, it's just about my friends and some strange festival thing on a beach with greyhound races. haha.
~9:30
i get a message on my phone from a number which doesn't display a contact name. the message is "it's sweet"
I get confused and wonder if i send out a radom message, but my sent box is empty. I look at the number to try and see if i recognise it. It is at this point that i realise the cognitive function of my brain is severely hampered and i find it hard to keep concentration for more than 10 or so seconds at a time. it is a feeling i get when i smoke weed.. (god i hate weed)
Now this random message is really getting to me. The number does look famillar. almost like my own number. no it can't be. i write the number down on paper because i can't concentrate enough to read it out all at once to myself.
no luck, its not my number.
I decide to bite the bullet, compose myself, and call the number.
Some-one answers, im a bit confused for a few moments, but i realise that it is a mate who often sends me a message when he is supposed to send the message to another friend (similar names)
He is out in the city and tells me to come out and i tell him i'll think about it. I start sounding really insecure and he sense it and says that he really wants me to come out hand have a drink. i know that im giving the wrong impression in the phone call because i don't actually want to come out. Anyway its a really awkward phone call and we end up haning up on each other.. sort of.
Whenever this mate calls me, his number never shows up, and the only reason for that was that i must have his number in my phone multiple times.
I decide to fix this. I have no idea how i managed this in the state of my scattered mind, but i ended up finding his number entered as a second time under "ran" for "random". i must have put his phone number in my phone a long time ago when i got a missed call or a prank call or somthing.
MY MIND IS CLEAR NOW!
i throw my hands out and say yesss, Napoleon dynamite style. very lame, but it felt good. lol.
10:01
i take another 5mg valium.
i notice slight visual distortions in the side of my eyes. this is the only visual hallucinations i saw the whole trip, so bascially i had none.
This is where i stop taking notes, and where it turns unusual/confronting.
I decide to head downstairs to talk to my sister who's watching tv.
Usually we're comfortable around each other, but not open.
I decide to ask her about drugs 8)
I ask her if she has ever done any and she says no, maybe tried to smoke a bit of weed but it didn't work.
I end up telling her that im on something, and at first she thinks im joking, but she realises that with the way im acting, im not.
She is very oblivious to the world of drugs.
Somehow, i start opening up and i tell her that im on Anti-depressants.
What followed was probably the most difficult conversations of my life.
Not because i didn't want to say what i was saying (the dxm was making me very honest and open), but because it was just so hard to get out a full sentence and keep my train of thought.
My sister was basically being my trip sitter and reminding me the last thing i was saying.
I basically went back to the very beggining of the start of a phobia i had developed when i was young, and talked about how it progressed and worsened, and how i ended up being prescribed anti depressents and valium.
This conversation was the first time i had actually went back to the "root" of the problem. Infact she was more than my trip sitter, she was more like my psychologist.
Without going into my personal details, it was a HUGE weight lifted off my shoulder and i felt sooo good that i had conversed the specifics of the issues with my phobia.
It probably took about 2 hours to spit all that out to my sister, but it was well worth it and she was very good about it.
I should note that i was lying on a couch during this, and at times my legs and voice were shaking, and when telling a certain story, i cried a little and so we hugged
Unfortunately at the same time as i was opening up, i was also wanting to enjoy the trip and would occassionaly sort of nod off, but i didn't want to be rude to my sister haha. and i knew that i was benefiting a lot from this experience so thats why i kept at it.
12 midnight
Tired, we both decide to go upstairs to bed. i was still very much affected by the drug, but could talk a little easier.
I was sitting on my bed and my sister came in and actually starting expressing herself and her own issues. She actually was experiencing her own problems in life that i was unaware of. I began to get a little worried for her, and because i was tripping a bit, i actually got scared for HER life.
Then she mentioned something about how she was going on DETOX next week, she had mentioned this previously, but this time it suddenly hit me, "WHAT THE HELL??? detox is for people doing drugs." (this was my thought at the time)
I came startled and jumped back on the bed, for a few moments, i thought that my sister sitting next to me was actually me talking to myself, meaning that for the past few hours i had been talking to absolutely no-body.
but she noticed that i was startled, so i asked her "why are you on detox", and she explained that it was nothing to do with drugs, and so i comforted myself and realised that i wasn't imainging her talking to me. PHEWWW THAT WOULD HAVE BEEN A HEAD FUCK! lol.
It wasn't the most pleasant experiences being so bloody difficult to talk on it, would have been so much easier if i had taken MDMA and talked to her and lifted this weight off my shoulder, but i think that it was almost like what happened last night was supposed to happen. It was only by accident (and lack of self control) that my dxm trip turned into a therapy session with my sister.
And yeah that's about it.
Went to bed at 1am, woke up at 8am, cooked breakfast for her for the first time (rest of family are away), and i just feel great today.
I've been talking to her openly this morning and i've been conveying things i've learnt about positive thinking and being yourself etc etc...
Thoughts? sorry for the long report.
Oh and also, would you say i was a high 2nd plateau or what?
And an afterthought, my sister today said that it wasn't initially completely obvious that i was under the influence of drugs, even though i was having trouble concentrating and needed consistent help with what i was talking about, and she said this is because i am often like this. I actually believe i also have ADD problems (she agrees with me) which i am going to peruse in the near future. i wonder if that was partially why it was so hard for me to explain myself?
I do find it hard sometimes to express my self when i'm completely sober. i need to pause quite often to think what im trying to say.
Even at work, people are almost amazed at how professional my written work is compared to when they're talking to me. but even with writing things, i stagger a lot on words and always pause trying to get out what im actually trying to say... so it takes me a long time to write things. PARTICULARLY THIS TRIP REPORT!!! (my first one i believe
)Cheers!!!
edit: one side effect to note, (other than the legs shaking), was my neck seemed to get quite stiff and heavy. like it was telling me to lie down.
Last edited:
