MrGrunge
Bluelighter
Male – 20 years old – 100 kgs – weekly DXM user
Background: This report is written several weeks in hindsight. For the past few months I've been experimenting with DXM as a sort of self-reflective meditation tool and have found to it greatly help ease my depression. The sense of "detachment" really lets you examine your life in an impartial manner. But lately I've been interested in maximizing the visual aspect of the drug and have been experimenting with various settings and routines for achieving a really engrossing hallucination. When I first began experimenting I took note of the drugs tendency to produce OEVs in low-light settings. The less light, the more pronounced the OEVs. In a dark room, with a heavy blanket over my head, I would consistently get something I now call the "planetarium effect"; there seemed to be an expansion in my perceptual field (though I knew the blanket was right in front of my face, there seemed to be an invisible dome around my head) and it was filled with little pinpricks of light, like looking up at the projection screen in a planetarium. Music also seemed to have a pronounced effect on the hallucinations, often setting the mood and "events" of the trip. With variations in dosage, music, and trip settings I tested the possibilities of what a good DXM experience could be. The following report outlines my most successful experiment and one of the coolest things I've seen. The report is derived from notes and memories of the trip, inaccurate though some of it may be.
--The Trip--
T <-0:30> I spent the first half hour mentally preparing myself for the trip. My last experience with a 600 mg dose was pretty awful, but I feel better prepared this time. I finish up my fourth glass of grapefruit juice and take 75 mg of Benedryl.
T <0:00> I take 40 Wal-Tussin brand cough gels with coffee (I find it helps counteract the Benadryl drowsiness as well as eases the gels on the stomach). I play video games while I wait for the come-up to begin.
T <+0:30> I begin to feel threshold effects, likened to a feeling of taking a hit of some sketchy weed; not a strong stone, but definite pressure behind the eyes. I begin to notice some lags in my vision; objects slide into and out of focus. Usually this stage doesn't hit me for another twenty minutes, so I know the come-up is going to be strong. Steady, good mindset. Anxious for the serious effects to kick in.
T <+0:45> Video games become unappealing, decide to watch TV instead. TV Shows seem altered, somehow different. Everything is familiar but there's something that's just not right; confusion begins to set in, the come-up is gonna start any minute. Body is getting heavy, wish I had a glass of water, but not really interested in moving.
T <+1:00> TV sucks. I put on my ipod and listen to Sigur Rós. The trippy music is really doing it for me, I begin to become engrossed in the music. Ego loss is expected to occur soon, a slow, pulsing sensation in head, feels like mind is slowly being sucked down a drain. Strange, but not unpleasant. I open my eyes and look around, try to move my body; everything seems difficult and delayed, the next hour will be difficult but I can deal just fine if I zone out to the music. CEVs occur in force. Though my eyes are closed, I feel like I can see all around me. Every piece of furniture in my room is clearly visible to me even as a sort of dark blue/grey outline and I see shadowy figures moving the corners of the room. These CEVs last for, well, probably only about fifteen minutes but it felt like hours.
T <+1:15> My initial plan was to wait for the come-up to pass before I started my hallucination experiment, but I decided that this would be the best time for whatever reason. My body feels like a ton of bricks. I slowly maneuver myself into a sitting position. I can tell my eyes are bugged out and wide, but I can't really help it. I carefully lift myself up, and almost immediately fall over. The room seems to move and twist beneath me and the darkness makes me unsure of my footing. I make my way upstairs, but I had to crawl up the steps because I was afraid I would fall if I attempted to walk upright. I make it upstairs and grab my silver boombox with Pink Floyd's "Mettle" inserted, a vaporizer loaded with good weed and a bunch of towels and I loaded everything into my bathroom.
T <+1:30> The goal was to trip in the shower. When I first started smoking weed, I was able to get some interesting OEVs while taking a shower with the lights dimmed and assumed the environment might be good for tripping on dex. The bathroom, with the lights off, is perfectly pitch black and with the perfect acoustics for the type of music I was playing. I padded the tub with towels because I wanted to be as comfortable as I could. To get all of this organized was a true feat of endurance as I could hardly stand, and every second that ticked by it became harder and harder to maintain. I managed to get everything set and then take three huge lungfuls of vapor. I stumbled into the tub and plunged myself into darkness.
T <+1:45> The come-up is in full force now and I’m getting a bit uncomfortable. The water is set to a temperature that is not far from body temp, so there is little-to-no outside stimulation. The first few minutes passed uneventfully save for a building anxiousness in my chest. I consider halting the experience and just riding out the trip in bed, but moving in total blackness seems dangerous so I decide to see what happens, which was a good decision. BAM, I’m no longer in the tub. I look around me and on all sides there are these towering pillars of light which seem to extend into infinity. I reach out to touch one but my hand hits the bathroom wall, and the hallucination disappears. The DXM confusion is at the peak at this point and I’m worried that I won’t be able to see the lights again. A few seconds later I’m thrown back into the “city of lights”. On both sides the lights tower overhead again, this time swirling and waving imperceptibly. I decide to not move and just engross myself in the experience, lest it gets away from me again.
On previous DXM trips at higher doses, I’ve noticed its tendency to produce movement hallucinations, which is something I’ve never experienced on other drugs. In past trips the movements felt like being on a boat undulating up and down with the surf, or a swirling feeling as if being sucked down a drain. This time however, the movement felt closer to falling. It felt as if I was falling down into the blackness beneath me, lights shooting up past me as I fell. You know how in Star Wars, the stars seem to grow and extend when the Millennium Falcon goes to warp speed? Yeah, it kinda looked like that, except vertically. It was at this point that I noticed the music, which I had until this point ignored. This brought me back to reality again and the lights disappeared.
At this point, I don’t have the slightest idea of how long I’ve been tripping, but, given that the song I put on was 20 minutes long and still going, it couldn’t have been that long (12-13 minutes tops). I try to settle my mind and allow myself to be overcome by the visions again. This time the artificial movements seem to be pulling me forward, deeper into the “city of lights”. I seem to navigate a complicated series of twists and turns, the scenery changing all around me: at times there are the towering “skyscrapers”, other times there are vast lakes or plains of light, and sometimes there are “snakes” which dance and twist in front of me. Everything during the whole trip is composed of the pinpricks of lights. At some point the music stopped, leaving me totally oblivious to the amount of time that I had been in there, completely absorb in the lightshow taking place all around me.
T <? to +5:00> The rest of the trip was relatively uneventful. I listened to some more music, meditated a bit and watched some TV. I tried eating spaghetti, but got nauseous to the point of almost vomiting. Not much else to say, I went to bed shortly after.
After: I have tried recreating, or ‘recapturing’ the magic of that night several times afterwards, but each time was met with failure. I decided to take a month break from dexing in order to reset my tolerance and give it another go, but given many people’s reports of being unable to experience the ‘magic’ of a DXM trip after a certain period of time, I’m not optimistic. That was clearly a peak experience for me and every subsequent trip will probably be done with the hopes of having a similar experience, which is really not how I intended to use the substance. I think it means that my days with DXM are coming to a close. It’s been a rocky relationship, but the experiences and insights learned through the past few months have been invaluable to me. I’ll definitely remember the “city of lights” for the rest of my life, as it provided some profound knowledge of just how powerful and interesting the human mind can be given the right ‘push’.
Background: This report is written several weeks in hindsight. For the past few months I've been experimenting with DXM as a sort of self-reflective meditation tool and have found to it greatly help ease my depression. The sense of "detachment" really lets you examine your life in an impartial manner. But lately I've been interested in maximizing the visual aspect of the drug and have been experimenting with various settings and routines for achieving a really engrossing hallucination. When I first began experimenting I took note of the drugs tendency to produce OEVs in low-light settings. The less light, the more pronounced the OEVs. In a dark room, with a heavy blanket over my head, I would consistently get something I now call the "planetarium effect"; there seemed to be an expansion in my perceptual field (though I knew the blanket was right in front of my face, there seemed to be an invisible dome around my head) and it was filled with little pinpricks of light, like looking up at the projection screen in a planetarium. Music also seemed to have a pronounced effect on the hallucinations, often setting the mood and "events" of the trip. With variations in dosage, music, and trip settings I tested the possibilities of what a good DXM experience could be. The following report outlines my most successful experiment and one of the coolest things I've seen. The report is derived from notes and memories of the trip, inaccurate though some of it may be.
--The Trip--
T <-0:30> I spent the first half hour mentally preparing myself for the trip. My last experience with a 600 mg dose was pretty awful, but I feel better prepared this time. I finish up my fourth glass of grapefruit juice and take 75 mg of Benedryl.
T <0:00> I take 40 Wal-Tussin brand cough gels with coffee (I find it helps counteract the Benadryl drowsiness as well as eases the gels on the stomach). I play video games while I wait for the come-up to begin.
T <+0:30> I begin to feel threshold effects, likened to a feeling of taking a hit of some sketchy weed; not a strong stone, but definite pressure behind the eyes. I begin to notice some lags in my vision; objects slide into and out of focus. Usually this stage doesn't hit me for another twenty minutes, so I know the come-up is going to be strong. Steady, good mindset. Anxious for the serious effects to kick in.
T <+0:45> Video games become unappealing, decide to watch TV instead. TV Shows seem altered, somehow different. Everything is familiar but there's something that's just not right; confusion begins to set in, the come-up is gonna start any minute. Body is getting heavy, wish I had a glass of water, but not really interested in moving.
T <+1:00> TV sucks. I put on my ipod and listen to Sigur Rós. The trippy music is really doing it for me, I begin to become engrossed in the music. Ego loss is expected to occur soon, a slow, pulsing sensation in head, feels like mind is slowly being sucked down a drain. Strange, but not unpleasant. I open my eyes and look around, try to move my body; everything seems difficult and delayed, the next hour will be difficult but I can deal just fine if I zone out to the music. CEVs occur in force. Though my eyes are closed, I feel like I can see all around me. Every piece of furniture in my room is clearly visible to me even as a sort of dark blue/grey outline and I see shadowy figures moving the corners of the room. These CEVs last for, well, probably only about fifteen minutes but it felt like hours.
T <+1:15> My initial plan was to wait for the come-up to pass before I started my hallucination experiment, but I decided that this would be the best time for whatever reason. My body feels like a ton of bricks. I slowly maneuver myself into a sitting position. I can tell my eyes are bugged out and wide, but I can't really help it. I carefully lift myself up, and almost immediately fall over. The room seems to move and twist beneath me and the darkness makes me unsure of my footing. I make my way upstairs, but I had to crawl up the steps because I was afraid I would fall if I attempted to walk upright. I make it upstairs and grab my silver boombox with Pink Floyd's "Mettle" inserted, a vaporizer loaded with good weed and a bunch of towels and I loaded everything into my bathroom.
T <+1:30> The goal was to trip in the shower. When I first started smoking weed, I was able to get some interesting OEVs while taking a shower with the lights dimmed and assumed the environment might be good for tripping on dex. The bathroom, with the lights off, is perfectly pitch black and with the perfect acoustics for the type of music I was playing. I padded the tub with towels because I wanted to be as comfortable as I could. To get all of this organized was a true feat of endurance as I could hardly stand, and every second that ticked by it became harder and harder to maintain. I managed to get everything set and then take three huge lungfuls of vapor. I stumbled into the tub and plunged myself into darkness.
T <+1:45> The come-up is in full force now and I’m getting a bit uncomfortable. The water is set to a temperature that is not far from body temp, so there is little-to-no outside stimulation. The first few minutes passed uneventfully save for a building anxiousness in my chest. I consider halting the experience and just riding out the trip in bed, but moving in total blackness seems dangerous so I decide to see what happens, which was a good decision. BAM, I’m no longer in the tub. I look around me and on all sides there are these towering pillars of light which seem to extend into infinity. I reach out to touch one but my hand hits the bathroom wall, and the hallucination disappears. The DXM confusion is at the peak at this point and I’m worried that I won’t be able to see the lights again. A few seconds later I’m thrown back into the “city of lights”. On both sides the lights tower overhead again, this time swirling and waving imperceptibly. I decide to not move and just engross myself in the experience, lest it gets away from me again.
On previous DXM trips at higher doses, I’ve noticed its tendency to produce movement hallucinations, which is something I’ve never experienced on other drugs. In past trips the movements felt like being on a boat undulating up and down with the surf, or a swirling feeling as if being sucked down a drain. This time however, the movement felt closer to falling. It felt as if I was falling down into the blackness beneath me, lights shooting up past me as I fell. You know how in Star Wars, the stars seem to grow and extend when the Millennium Falcon goes to warp speed? Yeah, it kinda looked like that, except vertically. It was at this point that I noticed the music, which I had until this point ignored. This brought me back to reality again and the lights disappeared.
At this point, I don’t have the slightest idea of how long I’ve been tripping, but, given that the song I put on was 20 minutes long and still going, it couldn’t have been that long (12-13 minutes tops). I try to settle my mind and allow myself to be overcome by the visions again. This time the artificial movements seem to be pulling me forward, deeper into the “city of lights”. I seem to navigate a complicated series of twists and turns, the scenery changing all around me: at times there are the towering “skyscrapers”, other times there are vast lakes or plains of light, and sometimes there are “snakes” which dance and twist in front of me. Everything during the whole trip is composed of the pinpricks of lights. At some point the music stopped, leaving me totally oblivious to the amount of time that I had been in there, completely absorb in the lightshow taking place all around me.
T <? to +5:00> The rest of the trip was relatively uneventful. I listened to some more music, meditated a bit and watched some TV. I tried eating spaghetti, but got nauseous to the point of almost vomiting. Not much else to say, I went to bed shortly after.
After: I have tried recreating, or ‘recapturing’ the magic of that night several times afterwards, but each time was met with failure. I decided to take a month break from dexing in order to reset my tolerance and give it another go, but given many people’s reports of being unable to experience the ‘magic’ of a DXM trip after a certain period of time, I’m not optimistic. That was clearly a peak experience for me and every subsequent trip will probably be done with the hopes of having a similar experience, which is really not how I intended to use the substance. I think it means that my days with DXM are coming to a close. It’s been a rocky relationship, but the experiences and insights learned through the past few months have been invaluable to me. I’ll definitely remember the “city of lights” for the rest of my life, as it provided some profound knowledge of just how powerful and interesting the human mind can be given the right ‘push’.
