mecaib
Bluelighter
12:00pm - 150mg DXM
12:30pm - 1/2 hit Zohai MX
8:00pm - 1/2 hit cannabis
11:00pm - 1 hit cannabis
I've done a lot of stupid things, taken drugs that I shouldn't have, and have had my fair share of bad trips. This is a report about one such experience, though for all intents and purposes it should have been a mild one.
It began yesterday with an "off" sort of feeling. I have bi-polar disorder, so I figured some DXM might help. DXM in the past has effectively flattened out my emotions, making the high crests of mania top off, and the low troughs of depression rise upward to create a peaceful state of mind. I figured it was high time (pun, ha ha) to set things straight. So I opened my bottle of Robitussin cough gels and took ten: 150mgs, thats all. Not a large dose, nowhere near heroic.
The time was around 12:00 noon.
So, with 150mg worth of DXM in my stomach, I thought I might have a shot of averting nausea with one 1/2 hit of Zohai MX. I was being careful. That half hit really did nothing for my nausea. It was barely a threshold dose.
So I spent the day with lady nausea. She and I didn't eat together, nor did we have much fun. I ignored her by playing video games. Populous is fun.
Time passed. I warmed myself near the fire. Behind closed eyes I could still see Populous, with the little isometric squares of fields, stately homes, and wandering walkers. I tried to smoke a cigarette, but it was gross and only contributed to the low-level nausea. I should probably mention that my nausea never bore fruit, otherwise things might have gone differently.
8:00pm
So later on, about 8:00pm I reckon, I took one 1/2 hit of high-grade cannabis. Not much happened. It might have lessened the nausea, but I might have just been distracted.
I ate two bowls of chicken soup. I felt hungry before I ate them, and I felt hungry afterwards. They didn't change the fact that I still felt nauseous, but they didn't make the nausea worse.
11:00pm
The hours ticked by slowly, stretched like taffy from time-dilation. More video games: Populous II, Zelda: The Minish Cap. It was now 11:00pm. The DXM was still working, but seemed to be on the downslope. Bolstered by the ineffectiveness of my two previous attempts to attenuate the nausea with cannabinoid agonists, I decided to try a full hit of that high-grade bud. This is where things went wrong.
Well, it started out all right. The Zelda game was fun, even if it is geared towards a money-grubbing, grab-everything-you-can society. After a while it became pointless. Something was happening to me, something which required my full attention. So I turned the computer off and got into bed to do some (light) reading. For some reason during my DXM trips I always gravitate towards outdoor magazines, the ones with backpacking hints and location descriptions. And so there I was, coming up hard 11 hours after initially taking the DXM, trying to distract myself with magazines. They were nearly as pointless as the video game I had been playing.
My temperature dropped. I began shaking uncontrollably. I was going into a full-blown panic attack! I could see the individual dots of the printed photos with psychedelic clarity, and each dot became a single number (yeah, the old Matrix cliché). Behind closed eyes I saw multicolored static, forming what looked like the patterns produced from burning paper. Now, these visuals would not be considered scary under other circumstances, but in the state I was in, everything I saw, smelled, tasted, etc., was frightening.
Sometimes when tripping, food can help smooth out the rough parts. I headed for the kitchen and grabbed some raisins and bread. I didn't want to eat, but I forced myself to anyway. After eating the raisins, however, I noticed a familiar, sickly-sweet taste in my mouth. It tasted like cough syrup. The taste lingered for the rest of the night, even though I had taken cough *gels*, not cough syrup.
I should probably go into greater detail concerning my mental status at this point. I take drugs to attain a higher degree of awareness, and also to adjust my emotional state when needed. What I was experiencing was super-awareness, an extremely wakeful state accompanied by intense fear of what I had done to myself. I could feel my mind slipping away from me, and wondered how many times I could get away with pushing myself to the edge of insanity without staying there completely. I didn't set out to alter my mind in any drastic way, yet here I was in the throes of an intense trip I didn't plan for. More than anything, I experienced the kind of anxiety you can only get when you fear for your mental and physical health. I truly felt that I had damaged my mind one-too-many times, and that the one scrap of sanity I have left might go up in flames because of my stupidity.
For quite some time I sat there freezing, shaking, breathing slowly and hard, drinking water to flush out my system. I was scared to go to sleep for fear that I might stop breathing, or that I might wake up in a catatonic state, thus disappointing my family or even worse, my fiancé. So I read the bible and prayed. I haven't read the bible for quite some time, but last night it seemed quite appropriate. It helped. When Jesus calmed the stormy sea the time the disciples were afraid in the boat, I felt that God wished to calm my stormy sea, and didn't wish to punish me beyond what I had already done to myself.
And so I read until I could no longer keep my eyes open. I drifted off to sleep. Today I awoke clear-headed and in my right mind, thank goodness. I didn't die in my sleep (not that it was very likely), nor did I lose my mind.
At some point while reading this you might have thought to yourself, "this guy must be very intolerant to DXM, he might even have an enzyme deficiency." It might be true, since 354mg is a high-ish dose to me. I've taken up to 888mgs of DXM polistirex, and not had a trip as intense as this one, although a DXM poly trip is quite different than your typical hydrobromide trip.
The mind is a fragile thing, folks. What's good for one person may be devastating to another. What's good for you one day might be poison for you the next. Such is the case with me and DXM. It was good for a while. But last night's experience reminded me of how dangerous it is to fool with compounds like DXM (and pot), especially when you already have an underlying mood disorder. One trip can have the power to topple your little house of cards. I was lucky enough to be reminded of that possibility without having it all come crashing down.
substancecode_dxm
substancecode_cannabis
substancecode_marijuana
substancecode_dissociatives
explevel_experienced
roacode_oral
roacode_smoked
roacode_inhaled
exptype_neutral
_combo_
12:30pm - 1/2 hit Zohai MX
8:00pm - 1/2 hit cannabis
11:00pm - 1 hit cannabis
I've done a lot of stupid things, taken drugs that I shouldn't have, and have had my fair share of bad trips. This is a report about one such experience, though for all intents and purposes it should have been a mild one.
It began yesterday with an "off" sort of feeling. I have bi-polar disorder, so I figured some DXM might help. DXM in the past has effectively flattened out my emotions, making the high crests of mania top off, and the low troughs of depression rise upward to create a peaceful state of mind. I figured it was high time (pun, ha ha) to set things straight. So I opened my bottle of Robitussin cough gels and took ten: 150mgs, thats all. Not a large dose, nowhere near heroic.
The time was around 12:00 noon.
So, with 150mg worth of DXM in my stomach, I thought I might have a shot of averting nausea with one 1/2 hit of Zohai MX. I was being careful. That half hit really did nothing for my nausea. It was barely a threshold dose.
So I spent the day with lady nausea. She and I didn't eat together, nor did we have much fun. I ignored her by playing video games. Populous is fun.
Time passed. I warmed myself near the fire. Behind closed eyes I could still see Populous, with the little isometric squares of fields, stately homes, and wandering walkers. I tried to smoke a cigarette, but it was gross and only contributed to the low-level nausea. I should probably mention that my nausea never bore fruit, otherwise things might have gone differently.
8:00pm
So later on, about 8:00pm I reckon, I took one 1/2 hit of high-grade cannabis. Not much happened. It might have lessened the nausea, but I might have just been distracted.
I ate two bowls of chicken soup. I felt hungry before I ate them, and I felt hungry afterwards. They didn't change the fact that I still felt nauseous, but they didn't make the nausea worse.
11:00pm
The hours ticked by slowly, stretched like taffy from time-dilation. More video games: Populous II, Zelda: The Minish Cap. It was now 11:00pm. The DXM was still working, but seemed to be on the downslope. Bolstered by the ineffectiveness of my two previous attempts to attenuate the nausea with cannabinoid agonists, I decided to try a full hit of that high-grade bud. This is where things went wrong.
Well, it started out all right. The Zelda game was fun, even if it is geared towards a money-grubbing, grab-everything-you-can society. After a while it became pointless. Something was happening to me, something which required my full attention. So I turned the computer off and got into bed to do some (light) reading. For some reason during my DXM trips I always gravitate towards outdoor magazines, the ones with backpacking hints and location descriptions. And so there I was, coming up hard 11 hours after initially taking the DXM, trying to distract myself with magazines. They were nearly as pointless as the video game I had been playing.
My temperature dropped. I began shaking uncontrollably. I was going into a full-blown panic attack! I could see the individual dots of the printed photos with psychedelic clarity, and each dot became a single number (yeah, the old Matrix cliché). Behind closed eyes I saw multicolored static, forming what looked like the patterns produced from burning paper. Now, these visuals would not be considered scary under other circumstances, but in the state I was in, everything I saw, smelled, tasted, etc., was frightening.
Sometimes when tripping, food can help smooth out the rough parts. I headed for the kitchen and grabbed some raisins and bread. I didn't want to eat, but I forced myself to anyway. After eating the raisins, however, I noticed a familiar, sickly-sweet taste in my mouth. It tasted like cough syrup. The taste lingered for the rest of the night, even though I had taken cough *gels*, not cough syrup.
I should probably go into greater detail concerning my mental status at this point. I take drugs to attain a higher degree of awareness, and also to adjust my emotional state when needed. What I was experiencing was super-awareness, an extremely wakeful state accompanied by intense fear of what I had done to myself. I could feel my mind slipping away from me, and wondered how many times I could get away with pushing myself to the edge of insanity without staying there completely. I didn't set out to alter my mind in any drastic way, yet here I was in the throes of an intense trip I didn't plan for. More than anything, I experienced the kind of anxiety you can only get when you fear for your mental and physical health. I truly felt that I had damaged my mind one-too-many times, and that the one scrap of sanity I have left might go up in flames because of my stupidity.
For quite some time I sat there freezing, shaking, breathing slowly and hard, drinking water to flush out my system. I was scared to go to sleep for fear that I might stop breathing, or that I might wake up in a catatonic state, thus disappointing my family or even worse, my fiancé. So I read the bible and prayed. I haven't read the bible for quite some time, but last night it seemed quite appropriate. It helped. When Jesus calmed the stormy sea the time the disciples were afraid in the boat, I felt that God wished to calm my stormy sea, and didn't wish to punish me beyond what I had already done to myself.
And so I read until I could no longer keep my eyes open. I drifted off to sleep. Today I awoke clear-headed and in my right mind, thank goodness. I didn't die in my sleep (not that it was very likely), nor did I lose my mind.
At some point while reading this you might have thought to yourself, "this guy must be very intolerant to DXM, he might even have an enzyme deficiency." It might be true, since 354mg is a high-ish dose to me. I've taken up to 888mgs of DXM polistirex, and not had a trip as intense as this one, although a DXM poly trip is quite different than your typical hydrobromide trip.
The mind is a fragile thing, folks. What's good for one person may be devastating to another. What's good for you one day might be poison for you the next. Such is the case with me and DXM. It was good for a while. But last night's experience reminded me of how dangerous it is to fool with compounds like DXM (and pot), especially when you already have an underlying mood disorder. One trip can have the power to topple your little house of cards. I was lucky enough to be reminded of that possibility without having it all come crashing down.
substancecode_dxm
substancecode_cannabis
substancecode_marijuana
substancecode_dissociatives
explevel_experienced
roacode_oral
roacode_smoked
roacode_inhaled
exptype_neutral
_combo_
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