So I'm pretty bored right now... I noticed that there is a blog feature on here. Now I'm usually the type to categorize blogs as lame or otherwise self-glorifying. But I've got a funny story to tell, so put on your top hats kids, 'cause we're going to the circus.
The day was thursday, a day like any other I thought. I was due in Milford District Court on an internal possession of alcohol charge I had acquired a couple weeks previous. I hopped out of bed, threw on my khakis and googled how to tie a tie. After about 15-20 minutes of struggling with the tie, I was finally ready to go. I hop in the car roll the windows down, and make my way to my destination.
I'm a big coffee drinker, and by that I mean I drink very strong coffee. About 8 scoops for 2.5 cups of water. Anyway, I didn't have time to brew my coffee at the house, as I had wasted valuable time fumbling with my tie. I figured I would just stop by Dunkin' Donuts on the way, and grab something.
I get to dunks, and I enter the drive-through. I order a large coffee, and I think what the hell, I'll get a shot of espresso in it. I can handle it, and I need the extra boost to deal with the fucking harpys at the courthouse. I pull around to grab my coffee, I notice there's a goth-chick that I used to go to school with working the window. We weren't really friends, but we weren't enemies either. All the employees are inside, laughing it up, over what I'm not totally sure, but a good time is indeed being had by these java jockeys. The girl gives me my coffee with a subtle grin on her face, I take it pay her and leave. This coffee is very dark, darker than any coffee in America should ever be. I am in a hurry to get to court though, so my judgment doesn't factor in here. I taste it, very bitter. I think to myself, that girl didn't put milk or sugar in my coffee. What a bitch, that's what was so funny I though... wrong.
I'm no stranger to the court system of New Hampshire. Negligent Driving, Speeding, Disorderly Conduct, nothing major though. My familiarity with the courts however, doesn't cure my nervousness, as the judge doesn't like my face and usually ends up verbally castrating me in front of the entire court, but I digress...
I sip my coffee fast, I finish it in about two minutes. The taste was so bitter I felt like I needed a chaser. Again, I didn't think anything of it, my eyes were on the prize so to speak. About 15 minutes after downing the coffee, I arrive at the courthouse, looking ever so elegant in my shirt and tie. At this point I am beginning to shake uncontrollably, my mind is racing, weird thoughts are swirling around in my brain that have no business being there. Somebody had fucked with my coffee...
I enter the courthouse and get the shit out of my pockets to go through the metal detector. I am, even from a distance, visibly shaking. I am too geeked out to make eye contact for very long with anybody, including the cop working the detector. For some reason I had a lego piece in my pocket (I have a young sibling), which in tandem with the shakiness, drew a few "what the fuck" looks from the cops at the door. Now convinced that everyone in the waiting room thinks that I am insane, I take a seat and begin rhythmically tapping things for the 15 minutes before arraignments start. I am convinced that everyone is staring at me, and am in full-scale panic mode.
I enter the court and sit, waiting for my name to be called. I stand up and as I address the judge, I am sweating balls, and my voice is cracking as if I was still in the 7th grade. I plead not guilty of course and get the fuck out of there. I go home and lay down for 4-5 hours taking deep breaths and trying to remain calm. The slightest external stimuli cause my heart rate to spike and the perspiration to set in, so I try to keep it very zen. I watch the price is right in its entirety, remarking at how shitty a replacement Drew Carrey is for Bob Barker.
So my hypothesis at this point is that the punks at Dunkin Donuts filled a large coffee cup with espresso and minimal ice, and gave it to me as a joke. Or they might just be totally retarded. Either way it ruined my fucking day.
The day was thursday, a day like any other I thought. I was due in Milford District Court on an internal possession of alcohol charge I had acquired a couple weeks previous. I hopped out of bed, threw on my khakis and googled how to tie a tie. After about 15-20 minutes of struggling with the tie, I was finally ready to go. I hop in the car roll the windows down, and make my way to my destination.
I'm a big coffee drinker, and by that I mean I drink very strong coffee. About 8 scoops for 2.5 cups of water. Anyway, I didn't have time to brew my coffee at the house, as I had wasted valuable time fumbling with my tie. I figured I would just stop by Dunkin' Donuts on the way, and grab something.
I get to dunks, and I enter the drive-through. I order a large coffee, and I think what the hell, I'll get a shot of espresso in it. I can handle it, and I need the extra boost to deal with the fucking harpys at the courthouse. I pull around to grab my coffee, I notice there's a goth-chick that I used to go to school with working the window. We weren't really friends, but we weren't enemies either. All the employees are inside, laughing it up, over what I'm not totally sure, but a good time is indeed being had by these java jockeys. The girl gives me my coffee with a subtle grin on her face, I take it pay her and leave. This coffee is very dark, darker than any coffee in America should ever be. I am in a hurry to get to court though, so my judgment doesn't factor in here. I taste it, very bitter. I think to myself, that girl didn't put milk or sugar in my coffee. What a bitch, that's what was so funny I though... wrong.
I'm no stranger to the court system of New Hampshire. Negligent Driving, Speeding, Disorderly Conduct, nothing major though. My familiarity with the courts however, doesn't cure my nervousness, as the judge doesn't like my face and usually ends up verbally castrating me in front of the entire court, but I digress...
I sip my coffee fast, I finish it in about two minutes. The taste was so bitter I felt like I needed a chaser. Again, I didn't think anything of it, my eyes were on the prize so to speak. About 15 minutes after downing the coffee, I arrive at the courthouse, looking ever so elegant in my shirt and tie. At this point I am beginning to shake uncontrollably, my mind is racing, weird thoughts are swirling around in my brain that have no business being there. Somebody had fucked with my coffee...
I enter the courthouse and get the shit out of my pockets to go through the metal detector. I am, even from a distance, visibly shaking. I am too geeked out to make eye contact for very long with anybody, including the cop working the detector. For some reason I had a lego piece in my pocket (I have a young sibling), which in tandem with the shakiness, drew a few "what the fuck" looks from the cops at the door. Now convinced that everyone in the waiting room thinks that I am insane, I take a seat and begin rhythmically tapping things for the 15 minutes before arraignments start. I am convinced that everyone is staring at me, and am in full-scale panic mode.
I enter the court and sit, waiting for my name to be called. I stand up and as I address the judge, I am sweating balls, and my voice is cracking as if I was still in the 7th grade. I plead not guilty of course and get the fuck out of there. I go home and lay down for 4-5 hours taking deep breaths and trying to remain calm. The slightest external stimuli cause my heart rate to spike and the perspiration to set in, so I try to keep it very zen. I watch the price is right in its entirety, remarking at how shitty a replacement Drew Carrey is for Bob Barker.
So my hypothesis at this point is that the punks at Dunkin Donuts filled a large coffee cup with espresso and minimal ice, and gave it to me as a joke. Or they might just be totally retarded. Either way it ruined my fucking day.
