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Dumped GF. She is now threatening to kill herself.

I dated several people like that. If she wanted to do it, she would not be announcing it to you. Furthermore, you can not let someone guilt you into being with them, I let that happen once and almost got killed myself as a result. Never a fucking gain
 
I disagree with what a few people have said about the fact that because she's dramatizing it, it can't be legitimate.
Once again, from experience, it can. I told my ex when I was attempting to kill myself because I wanted to freak him out or provoke some sort of reaction. Granted I had already done it but I'm just saying, don't take it lightly just because she's saying it. It could be a real threat.
I reiterate what I said about calling her friends.
 
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i see your point- every case is different. there is always the possibility someone might do it after talking about it a lot.

there is also though a subset of people who use this kind of threat to draw attention to themselves. its hard to differentiate
 
^Oh yeah definitely - I just wouldn't want the OP to dismiss it as nothing more than a threat because of that, on the offchance that she actually does mean it.
 
pofacedhoe, I think that's dangerous advice to give. She may be self absorbed, she's most likely doing this as an attention getter, but as in the example Pagey gave (I'm glad you're ok, btw <3), it might still be serious. I don't think the right thing to do is say, it's just a ploy, so ignore it. I agree with the wise posters before me who said, call a friend of hers, or a family member - someone who can check on her. Do it - there's nothing to lose. If it was a joke, then she'll feel like the idiot to get someone checking on her when she's fine. But, you wouldn't forgive yourself if she DID do something (not that you would have to - it would be HER choice - not yours). But if you care about her, as you obviously do, get someone to check on her. Not you - someone close to her that you can call. And after this, make sure you're uncontactable. Because this isn't your situation to deal with, after tonight.
 
pofacedhoe said:
Illyria99 - bipolar doesn't make people violent, people themselves chose to behave badly. lots of people have bipolar/schizophrenia and dont behave in a violent way at all without their medication. i'm speaking as someone who has been diagnosed as bipolar. it makes you more prone to risky behaviour but how that is expressed is a function of an individuals personality. also if you are looking to explain crazy behaviour in people look up personality disorders
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I've also been diagnosed with it, and I'm one of those people not on the proper medication.

So, I suppose what my prior post was saying is that if I were suddenly dumped by a guy, I'd more than likely do something quite bad.
 
footscrazy said:
But if you care about her, as you obviously do, get someone to check on her. Not you - someone close to her that you can call. And after this, make sure you're uncontactable. Because this isn't your situation to deal with, after tonight.
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This.
And I might add: don't call one of her friends, call her parents. They might hate you, but you won't have to deal with them anymore. Noone has more power (i.e. to bring them to the hospital, if needed) or responsibilities towards her than them. Maybe it should be something along the lines of a formal communication: 'Me and your daughter had an argument/broke up. It is not my role/responsibility anymore, but she sent me messages and I fear that she might be in danger (or whatever). Please, can you check that she's well?'. Then you can walk out of the situation without the danger/fear of not having given help to someone in need.
 
A large percentage (I think it was 70%) of completing suiciders told someone in the months before the suicide.
 
I appreciate everyone's advice. Especially Pagey; it is very insightful to gain opposing perspectives. Anyways, i had a friend check up on her last night and she is fine. She has continued sending me crazy texts this morning. She is convinced i have left her for someone else. All of this is very very sad. I grew up with mentally unhealthy but soft-souled women in my life; you would think i would be used to it. Even now I perceive her to have an endearing innocence about her. I just want her to be OK, but be OK far away from me.
 
I would definitely tell a friend of hers. I wouldn't rule out parents completely. If she was legitimately wanting to kill herself, her parents would want to know BEFORE rather than after, right? If they knew she had been telling YOU that she was going to kill herself, and you just "let her" without doing anything ... I'm pretty sure they'd hate you even more. Even a call saying "Hey, I know you guys don't like me, but (her name) has been threatening to kill herself since we broke up. I'm really worried about her and don't want anything to happen to her, could you please check in on her?" would be perfect.

Breakups can be tough. Of course you're still going to care about her and want to help her through this ... but if breaking up is the right thing to do (in your situation, it definitely seems this way), then you have to let her get through it. Think about how many breakups have happened ... ever. Most people make it through okay. They find someone else eventually. Yeah, the next few days - sometimes even longer - can be TERRIBLE. When I broke up with my ex of three years, I didn't know what to think! I was a mess. But it was the right choice. You have to get through it. She has friends, she has family, so she does have support. You will be thought of as the "bad guy" but it's over now.

Edit: I just want to add that I definitely think she's just saying it to get attention, that is most likely, but it doesn't mean you shouldn't do anything - just in case!
 
silverman said:
Yeah. I'm pretty much done with dating for a while. There is something about me that either attracts or seeks emotionally unstable women. This is the 3rd one in a row. i remember growing up; my dad had the exact same problem. I need to figure out why i suck so bad at relationships. Always grateful to have bluelight as an outlet for thought processing and anonymous feedback.
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My friend's dad told him when he was growing up "the stupid girls will ruin you." And then he starts talking about some of the stuff that's happened with ex-girlfriends. I tell him I'm pretty sure a smart will ruin you more. ha!
 
Ouch typical manipulation. I've had this one before - co-dependency, and toxic toxic vibes.

Ignore it completely after suggesting she get some help, wish her good luck. Make sure that her friends know how she's been reacting to the breakup and they will be there for her.
 
In my experience you have to take something like that seriously. I know this is late, but my close friends X was threatning him she was going to kill herself. We all thought the same thing, manipulative, attention seeking, everything you mentioned above.

They found her dead the next morning hanging in her closet. So, again. In my experience, it is to be taken seriously. If someone wants to threaten with that, and they are in that mindstate. Call for help, whether it be 911, family members, etc. Anything to show that it is not being taken lightly. Suicidal thoughts and threats are very serious. You never know how deep someone is willing to go in a blinded rage.

Edit: To this day my friend is so messed up, he takes 100% responsbility because he broke up with her. He didn't go help her, he thought she was being her over-dramatic self. I hardly see the guy, he is chained to his room. It is really sad.
 
Look at it this way OP.

If she killed herself, don't you think her parents would have wanted to know that she was unstable? They will blame you for not sharing her problems.

If you contact them (by which I mean a short email saying that you've ended it and want nothing more to do with her, and a text-log with some of the messages she has been sending) it puts the ball in their court to deal with, and effectively gets you off the hook. Who cares if they hate you. They will at least respect you for doing the right thing this way. And if she isn't going to kill herself, then she gets to endure all the shame of acting like a god damn fool and causing her parents to worry.

Good luck.
 
Illyria99 said:
I've also been diagnosed with it, and I'm one of those people not on the proper medication.

So, I suppose what my prior post was saying is that if I were suddenly dumped by a guy, I'd more than likely do something quite bad.
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fair enough. its different making a generalisation about a mental illness if you have it yourself. kind of how people in wheelchairs can take the piss out of other people in wheelchairs

Licence to Pill said:
Look at it this way OP.

If she killed herself, don't you think her parents would have wanted to know that she was unstable? They will blame you for not sharing her problems.

If you contact them (by which I mean a short email saying that you've ended it and want nothing more to do with her, and a text-log with some of the messages she has been sending) it puts the ball in their court to deal with, and effectively gets you off the hook. Who cares if they hate you. They will at least respect you for doing the right thing this way. And if she isn't going to kill herself, then she gets to endure all the shame of acting like a god damn fool and causing her parents to worry.

Good luck.
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this is a really good explanation
 
I've herd it too. She was a long term meth head. I new she was it was a lie so I told her if she uses the gun do it in the bath tub so there's less mess. She never threatened that again. :)
 
I used to have a woman do this to me. I would want out, she would threaten suicide. Such an ugly situation. Stay strong dood. I am so much happier now that I'm not sticking my dick in crazy
 
I'm bipolar as fuck! Probably has something to do with drugs...I'm like a fucking cult leader when I'm manic, but when I get depressed, I get all foggy and distant..

I'm depressed as shit, and my longtime girlfriend just broke up with me! I kind of feel like killing myself because I just don't wanna deal with it, she senses this and has been telling me, "Don't do anything stupid!" Personally, I know I'm not ready to kill myself, but somewhere in the back of my mind the temptation to try to use this shit as leverage is there....but I know it's not gonna make her wanna stay with me, pretty much the opposite....It's just gonna make me look pathetic!

I'm not a whiny dude at all...emotional, but not a whiner....I think I can win her love back, maybe not....but acting all crazy doesn't do shit! I'd act concerned in a detached way and express your concerns to a relative of hers or a friend....She's just trying to suck you in....She feels helpless, rejected and desperate...I wouldn't call the cops just yet....

On the flipside, some dude is talking to my girlfriend on facebook and whining about how HE wants to kill himself while at the same time hinting that he wants to hook up with her! And, it seems to be working as they're getting quite friendly....so, life is fucked up....Breakups are emotional and make people do crazy things, thats for sure!
 
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