lilfire
Greenlighter
I've been using benzos for I think 2-3 years now. I've never taken them every day, but at least once a week for that time. I think I could stop taking them and be ok but I'm psychologically addicted to them. I take at least 1 klonopin and 1 xanax a week, usually 1 more of one or the other. I realize that's not a lot and am proud that I've been able to keep it down to those doses.
However, the last four months or so I've added ritalin and vicodin to the mix. I take these in moderate doses probably 2-3 times a week. I'm not out of control, I have a full-time job, some meager but decent savings. No one would peg me as a druggie.
Recently I went on antidepressants. I've dealt with depression and anxiety all my life. I thought it might help me cut down on the number of pill-popping days. I also drink to excess, maybe twice a week.
I'm a very shy person and whenever I have a social activity lately I'm popping pills. I don't NEED them, but I have them. I see it's a slippery slope and I'm scared, scared for my physical and mental health. The vicodin and ritalin use has accelerated. The benzos I tried to keep to therapeutic doses, but then I started using them to potentiate the painkillers and ease the ritalin comedowns.
I feel terrible about it in a way, but it alleviates so much worry. Not feeling up for the staff meeting tomorrow? Xanax and ritalin, my friend! I'm screwed, aren't I?
However, the last four months or so I've added ritalin and vicodin to the mix. I take these in moderate doses probably 2-3 times a week. I'm not out of control, I have a full-time job, some meager but decent savings. No one would peg me as a druggie.
Recently I went on antidepressants. I've dealt with depression and anxiety all my life. I thought it might help me cut down on the number of pill-popping days. I also drink to excess, maybe twice a week.
I'm a very shy person and whenever I have a social activity lately I'm popping pills. I don't NEED them, but I have them. I see it's a slippery slope and I'm scared, scared for my physical and mental health. The vicodin and ritalin use has accelerated. The benzos I tried to keep to therapeutic doses, but then I started using them to potentiate the painkillers and ease the ritalin comedowns.
I feel terrible about it in a way, but it alleviates so much worry. Not feeling up for the staff meeting tomorrow? Xanax and ritalin, my friend! I'm screwed, aren't I?
