Drugs for mental insight & understanding

[Thorpedo]

Hi. I have a mental problem where I start focusing in some way that makes me tense up. Its like my awareness is being caught up in some mental focus which causes me to hold some muscles tense within my head, inner eye region, but not to a great extend. After that I will stop being conscious of how I focus and all kinds of tension will come and go around head and neck region. The focus effectively is (very quickly) transformed into me having awareness about clenching muscles all around the head, which I have no particular control over. Its like the initial focus will lock me into a state of mind that furthermore puts me in a constant battle with tensing muscles in my head. If i stop the initial focus the whole clenching / tensing which is followed by the initial focus will go away. But I'm not sure how to stop it, as the clenching tensing overpowers my ability to notice the focus i'm lost in. Its really distracting as my mind is totally consumed by it almost 24/7
The clenching has no physical causes I'm sure. Its all made in my mind. And also I'm never stressed when it happens, its something I have learned myself. A state of mind.

Is there any medication or drugs that could get me more aware of the mental processes I do? I need to learn more specifically what I'm actually doing with my mind. Smoking weed helps nothing to let me relax. Drinking seldom helps me relax. Strong depression and hangovers used to make me stop focusing like this for some hours, which made me relax. I have recurring OCD tendencies and me not being able to stop focusing like this might have something to do with this. But first I would like to really learn to know how I am focusing before I tackle the OCD part of it if any.

I know uncontrollable muscle tension can sometimes be caused by amphetamines and medication, but I'm on nothing. And have never used anything extensively.

 

[Crashing]

Psychedelics are the only drugs that offer insightful thinking as far as I'm concerned. Using psychedelics to focus on a physical problem that you're having is an extremely risky gamble, because either you could end up solving your problem completely or making it 10x worse.

I would suggest meditation first. Does this happen no matter what you focus on? And what do you mean 'focus'? Is it the same if you were trying to solve a math problem as it would be if you were imagining what it would be like to be on a desolate island? Both require concentration and thought

 

[Thorpedo]

Well I don't think it can be made any worse. I have actually tried mushrooms before while having this problem. But at that point I was not aware that I was actually focusing like this to make tension. So I never tried to gain any insight. Nor do I remember if it went away. But it didn't make it any worse.

I have tried meditation. And I will continue to try it.
I'm not quite sure how to explain it. But when you sometimes just look out the window and you just become aware of your thoughts, but nothing in the field of your view. Almost like you take your attention away from your eyes. Maybe it can be compared to that. I can still have internal dialogue, but its harder.
Its a little bit hard to explain it since I'm not quite sure how it works.

 

[kaywholed]

ever tried just going for a run?

 

[Thorpedo]

hell yeah, doesn't work. maybe if I run till I collapse, but I'm not gonna try that now.

 

[mrflowers00]

amanita muscaria mushrooms

 

[bronson]

This is something that is very tough to properly diagnose over an Internet forum. We also can't recommend what drugs you get as it is against the forum rules. The very best thing you can do is to see a medical profesional.

On that note I'm going to close this thread. PM with any questions. I invite you to start a new thread and let us know how you are doing once you speak with a medical profesional. I truly do hope you feel better.