Drugs, drugs and more drugs.

Day to day they always cross my mind and i'm always looking for ways to get high. Legal, illegal it doesn't bother me I just love to escape what I consider a mundane existence. I'm so drugged up on anti-depressants and have been for over six years I hardly ever experience much other than a blank/zombie like state. I recently took up exercise as a means of replacing my drug use but even the so called natural high pales in comparision.

I love the lifestyle, the 'scene', even the routine of obtaining and preparing drugs is a high in itself. I glamorise what most despise.

I'm not sure if this is a normal way of thinking. I bring shame on my parents if I openly admit my use and i'm afraid to be open with others in fear of being rejected and branded as 'junkie scum'.

I'm not sure being preoccupied with these thoughts on a daily basis is healthy, perhaps I need therapy? I have friends, I go out, I do my uni work...shouldn't that be enough? Is this so wrong?

 

Yep! Its a pretty normal way of thinking when we're wrapped up in our using.

I can definitely relate.

 

Exercise is still great, even if it's while on drugs! Keep up the exercise, it's great for the body and mind.

 

I pretty much relate with all that, right down to my pill fetish. I would ask your doctor about adding Abilify to your anti-depressant, it perks up your mood and energy level.

 

Dude I can relate. I used 25 yrs, went back out on a 4 an 1/2 year run, got busted, did 90 days in jail, and got out Nov 12. I can only speak from my own experience, but after the initial nightmare of the kick from all drugs, then the conscience choice to stay clean and ask for spiritual guidance , help does arrive. I started a pattern of daily prayer and meditation in jail, which was ideal because jail takes away all my favorite distractions, not just drugs. I go through periods where I feel like a bouy being tossed around by a wild storm in the ocean at times, but I'm glad I didn't say fuck it and take painkillers even being in pain 2 long days. I have 100 days clean. I have some peace of mind, but if there's hope for me then there is for you too. Peace out.