LaurenLive2Party
Bluelighter
- Joined
- Jan 26, 2008
- Messages
- 134
I was diagnosed bipolar but seriously doubted the diagnosis since it was made when i was doing drugs and drinking. But being sober for awhile and not on meds I began to experience some freaky shit. Lows out of nowhere, then highs and impulsiveness and agitation. All within a week. (rapid cycling) When I am manic, I don't realize it, or I dont care. It feels good. I even feel euphoric. Thats why basically I dont even need drugs. LOL. Trust me they make it worse. Mania can be beneficial if you are not acting like a ravingl lunatic. Hypomanic is as far as I have gone. It does have an edge to it, but unfortunately it can lead to some very destruction impulsive decisions.
As long as I stay off mood altering substances, I do much better. Particularly stimulants. Whoa. A bipolar on stims, not a pretty sight. But basically it gets worse over time if not treated. I went to college, got a bachelors, and got a job, but it wasnt long before my behavior started to affect my life. I started drinking to self medicate. Then at 29 I tried cocaine. I got hooked on the second try. Since then, it has been a battle with the substances and the bipolar just exacerbates it.
But basically, if I exersize, take the meds, and stay off the drugs, I do pretty well.
The thing about Bipolar is you cannot step outside yourself to evaluate you behavior. I knew something was wrong. Mainly because I felt depressed and agitated, but mania can feel like everything is fucking great.
As long as I stay off mood altering substances, I do much better. Particularly stimulants. Whoa. A bipolar on stims, not a pretty sight. But basically it gets worse over time if not treated. I went to college, got a bachelors, and got a job, but it wasnt long before my behavior started to affect my life. I started drinking to self medicate. Then at 29 I tried cocaine. I got hooked on the second try. Since then, it has been a battle with the substances and the bipolar just exacerbates it.
But basically, if I exersize, take the meds, and stay off the drugs, I do pretty well.
The thing about Bipolar is you cannot step outside yourself to evaluate you behavior. I knew something was wrong. Mainly because I felt depressed and agitated, but mania can feel like everything is fucking great.