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  • EADD Moderators: Pissed_and_messed | Shinji Ikari

Drug Sabbatical Support & Appreciation Thread

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Thanks a lot guys. And congratulations to everyone who's continued to stick with their sabbaticals, intentional or otherwise. And to all those who are willing to face reality. :) <3

I've been thinking about stuff a hell of a lot more, I know that. Though that's often my trouble. Too much thinking, not enough doing. However, I had a good 2½ hour phone conversation with an old work mate last night which was exactly what I needed. Whenever I turn to my other friends for advice they either say, "you need to figure things out for yourself", or try to reassure me but with no real encouragement involved. Having deadbeat parents who only ever shatter my hopes certainly doesn't motivate me either tbh. But he brings me crashing back to earth with his blunt honesty. It kinda depresses me for a bit, but on the other hand he really does help illustrate what action I need to take in life and gives me a necessary push. He's such a realist with a huge heart, and I'm lucky to have him as a friend. I'm the kinda person who never gets around to doing anything unless I have someone around to push me. I guess he understands this because it's a reflection of something that's within himself.

Anyway, I'm not so much referring to drugs here (although that's a small part of the the bigger picture). I just need to stop procrastinating and figure some shit out before I get stepped on again. Starting today, I'm looking forwards and not backwards. :)
 
I've been off benzos for about a month now, only taken xanax twice on stim comedowns in that period. The last few days have been quite hard, they have been the first few days since I quit that I really wanted some benzos. If I had some around then I would likely have taken them.

Am hoping that it was jut because I was feeling shit a few days after taking 6-apb and not a genuine wish for benzos.
 
I've had an unintentional benzo break since about last Thursday. I'd usually rely on G during breaks, but since the G ran out, I've been using nowt. Dunno what happened exactly, but I had a good day last week and I've not felt the need to use them since. I'm off work next week so will sail into at least two weeks of being benzo free.

I definitely surrounded myself with negativity for way too long, which affected me quite badly. I kinda don't have time for it these days, and I'm not allowing it to get to me as I normally would. T'is strange. I was actually on the brink of taking one today, but shrugged it off and stuck it out instead.
 
^
Well done Tribal <3 things are looking good for you! I could do with a bit of your "shrug it off - stick it out" ism :D

Was joking earlier with him indoors about the housewives helpers :| amusing not - viv la revolution will ensue =D

Chaos = creativity = change.
 
I'm going to be an active participator in this thread Monday - Friday in the near future. It's quite difficult though.
 
I'm a silent participant, for once. Not been pissed or had more than one beer in two weeks, having a few tonight but am mostly aiming for a life with alcohol added rather than alcohol with a few bits of lucidity thrown in here and there. Having a new job a new love interest (however unobtainable) and a general good attitude is helping lots.

As is weed, it's more of a complement to my life rather than a replacement for it and a smoke here and there is motivating me to pick up hobbies of old or take up new ones so yeah, it's going well touch wood.

Good luck everyone else and especially DS, gets easier I think but don't fuck yourself too hard if you slip up :)
 
This peevee binge is only 9 hours old, but it has to stop and my body needs to be cleansed of such sentience toxins as MDPV & alcohol. Sobriety is my only salvation (well that and a cheese & chilli toastie). Why oh why have I once again indulged in such hedonistic practices only to be cruelly reminded that 'there's no such thing as a free lunch'. I will have to do pennance for this and it's going to be of the horribly dehydrated and borderline psychotic sort I feel.

Blinding headaches, gutaches and shadow people who just don't know when to SHUT THE FUCK UP AND GO AWAY. Thursday is going to be grim and unpredictable; that's before I even look outside at the weather. Pray for me, I place my fate in the hands of the power of prayer (and paracetamol) - I think I'll need both...
 
^ Thinking of you F&B <3

I'll be having an enforced break from my daily hash habit when I visit my eldest in Philly next week, which will be most welcome in all ways.
 
Place your faith in seroquel or potent opiates, you could always go the whole hog & flush your stash during a "moment of clarity" (I know of people who've done that more than once :\ ) I'd pray for you but it feels so contrived to even entertain the idea and I'd toppple slowly forwards anyway as I always do every time I attempt to kneel down.

Maybe if you prayed for me not to fall on my face when I kneel I could be cured & then I could pray for you :)


Good luck KO7 I trust everything is fine & groovy as the evening blends seamlessly into night time.


Happier Friday
 
fastandbulbous said:
Evening blended seamlessly into morning, then I passed out for a few hours to wake into a day of exquisitly unpleasant reminders of why i stopped drinking years ago
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pails into insignificance perhaps but I am currenlty on my 5th beer - it is 1.20am and I have work tommorow- have to be on a computer all day.
The devil inside me is saying 'you need to get trashed on MDMA as you have had 8 years without it' and I am inclined to listen to him because what the fuck - I haven't hurt anyone in that time and I fucking deserve a break to let loose and go crazy. Been sooo long though I have lost all contact
 
On day 5 without any diazepam. I am a bit scared incase i get withdrawals. I think i should be ok, i have never went beserk on the dosage.
 
mugabe said:
Well done Tribal Girl :) I bet you feel a lot better. I have recently stopped benzos too and feel 10x better for it. I took some xanax on the comedown of 6-apb last weekend and the day after I really regretted it, was once of the first times in years that I looked at benzos negatively rather than them improving my life. Now I really believe that I can go the rest of my life without them. :)
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If you don't mind me asking, why did you view the xanax as having a negative effect on your life then when using it to aid the comedown?

Been taking stims far less often currently and refuse to sniff lines of anything, since the summer last year up until not very long ago I would take stupid amounts (mainly mephedrone, taking up to 15g to myself over a few days.. I know..) and be on them (awake) 3 days a week minimum. My head was getting very cloudy and life was just going in the wrong direction. Plus I properly fucked my nostrils, they seem to take forever to heal and taking even one line puts me right back to square one. So oral is my only ROA currently.

Now its twice a month for stims, if that, in way smaller doses. After 4 years of daily toking the past few months I've also really cut down on the amount of weed I smoke, my heads really feeling better for it.

Some important, legit, shit has come my way - trying to focus on that more now. I don't really drink alcohol so I think taking a stimulant every 2-3 weeks is rationally and personally OK as something to look forward to and to help ease the monotony.
 
If you don't mind me asking, why did you view the xanax as having a negative effect on your life then when using it to aid the comedown?
Click to expand...

It wasn't that particular time of use that I saw as negative, but just viewed benzos as having a negative effect on my life in general.

Have massively fucked up again recently. For two weeks I have been taking lots of alprazolam powder :( I have not done anything totally crazy or out of control yet, but I have not been myself at all and I have put my life at risk. I really need to stop taking it.

I have been dabbing straight from the bag and taking god knows how much. I have been taking it at work every day and sometimes have even had some booze before work too and been really fucked at work.

I'm hoping that because it has only been two weeks of daily use that it won't be too hard to stop. I really do want to stop but sometimes it is just sooo hard and I can't stop myself indulging.

I can't believe that I have risked my job, which would in turn risk my relationship and then our home and our future marriage.

During the month that I was off benzos I was really happy with life and the day to day things. Not sure when or what has changed.

I am going to make a massive effort to stay away from the alprazolam on monday and tuesday, then hopefully I will be able to make it the whole of next week.

I am really determined to quit again and sort things out again. I know that it will be hard but I really want to be free of them for good this time.
 
^I would suggest flushing that powder down the bog right now if you're serious. I know it's not always easy, but you're treading on dangerous ground here and you know it.

Good luck. <3
 
Haven't taken any today and I will be leaving for work soon, it is going to feel weird being at work and not being totally out of it on benzos, will be good to try and get things back to normal though.

Have just booked up my first session with a local private pscyhotherapist for Thursday evening. Hopefully I can sort out some bigger issues with her and will stop turning back to benzos whenever things get hard.
 
^I believe I've had the same powder, and it's piss-weak or even bunk, even at doses of 20-40mg. A dose of diazepam makes you realise that you've been taking shite. Just flush it, it's crap, seriously.
 
I've decided a break from opiates is in order. Ever since I moved away from Leeds I've been doing codeine far more regularly then normal - mainly out of boredom. I don't know that many people down here, coupled with the mountains of work that I have to do it seemed too easy to take a few 100mg of codeine / DHC, get floaty and crack on with the work.

However I'm starting to think I may be at a cross roads and am beginning to rely on it a bit too much. Instead of an evening treat every now and then it's been creeping into my lunchtime routine, daily. Taking it everyday is a recipe for disaster.

Today is the second day without codine or DHC in a fair while and gotta say, I'm feeling pretty rubbish :\
 
Well I am here once again in the sabbatical thread droning on about benzos. They reared their ugly head again and although I am no longer dabbing from the bag and mixing with alcohol before work, I have been taking lower doses most days and falling right back into addiction.

It has been putting a huge strain on my relationship with angelsmoke too.

For that reason and because I was so happy when I was rid of them not so long ago, that month without benzos was great, I began to be myself again and was enjoying life and felt free from the constraints of benzos.

I am giving them up one more time, a final time. I might still have to use them occasionally for comedowns, but there will be no more daily "therapeutic" use
 
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