de spook i know where ur coming from. most of my party friends i would still consider aquaintainces. HOWEVER i do have a few that i am very close and probably see more outside of parties than at parties. there are even a couple of friends of mine who have dropped out of the party lifestyle that i still try and keep in contact with.
when people at party's people are generally at their most friendly and extroverted. if i feel i have i gotten on really well with someone at a party i try and follow it up by ringing or texting them to see how they are later on.
sometimes when i try and bring the relationship outside the party context it mightn't always(and often it doesn't) but sometimes i ge lucky and it does.
the main thing with me i suppose is that i don't HAVE a party crew were i hang out exclusivesly at parties. a lot of my friends don't know each and while this can be confusing i prefer it to being in a click. like de spook i don't have a problem going to a party and bumping into whoever i know there. though some people seem think it's weird that i don't need someone to hold my hand where ever i go.
so i guess what im trying to say is that it's hard to know what the value of ur friendship with ur party mates until u've spent time with them in a number of different circumstances
[ 29 January 2002: Message edited by: moonlight_blue ]
oh yeah...i don't talk drugs at parties myself even though people think i'm fucked cos im always so dam hyper...anyway, i generally find that because of this people who have huge interest in finding someone else to get messy with tend to avoid me (for obviuous reasons)
it makes me sad that i don't
A) have any friends from High School i've kept in contact with (i had hard time getting close to people when i was younger)
B) have any friends from uni (prolly cos im not there very often and also its hard when i only see me most of these people for an hour a week max for only one semester) am i the only one who finds it hard to make friends at uni?
C) i don't work at the moment so i don't have any friends from that
When I was little I moved around a fair bit - I changed schools a lot and the first few weeks was always hard. After coming home crying one day and complaining that no one talked to me my mother pointed out that all the kids at my new school already had friends - it was up to me to make the effort to get to know them. It's like that all through life, I reckon. You get out what you put in. I'm at a point at the moment where I've made a lot of new friends through Bluelight, people I really like who I see at events and parties and stuff and I talk with on IRC. A few of these people I really, really like and I want to stay in contact with but it's going to be extremely hard since I'm leaving the country for several years. I'm hoping that via email and my webpage and stuff I don't touch with them but I'll see I guess..
I have friends that I've known nearly all my life, as well as friends from work, friends from Uni, friends from Bluelight, friends that I've made through friends. Any of these people could slip out of my life quite easily. It's up to me to not let that happen, and if I care about them enough it wont. I do agree though that drugs and all that seem to make it easier to meet people.. someone told me at my first rave that everyone has a choice between seeing these bonding experiences as real and seeing them as just part of the scene. I choose either depending on the person - sometimes I meet people who are fun for a night but are way too hardcore for me and so I don't pursue the relationship, othertimes there's a real liking and I can see there are things in common .
I have drug friends. They're called Bluelighters. Some I have a lot in common with, some I don't. I enjoy partying with all of them and value their friendship and companionship. But I woudldn't consider them close friends - not their fault, I just haven't gotten to know most bluelighters at that level for various reasons - mostly mine. In fact, I'm not a very social party person, prefer to dance alone or sit by myself spinning out.
My 'true' friends number only a few, mainly consisting of high school / uni friends. These are the people I would trust day in day out.
Hope you BLers don't get me wrong. I value all of my friendships, but the common bond we (as in bluelighers have) is lifestyle, and I can't be exepcted to be friends with every fucking khandi raver now can I?
plazma:
Jesus man, that was the saddest post I've read in ages :-( The way you sound kind of reminds me of a state I was in a little over a year ago... I'd just broken up with a gf of three years(or, more accurately, she'd broken up with me ) and was feeling really alone and really lonely (no they're not the same thing...).
Drugs actually helped me get over that by "reuniting" me with some older friends that I'd lost a certain closeness with, even though we still saw each often. Now everything's back to normal and I'm happy again, so I wish you the best of luck. Only having drug friends isn't necessarily a bad thing - just because people share one thing in common(and it may seem like the only thing sometimes), doesn't mean there isn't diversity amongst them. I don't know what to say. Just try not to get too down - it's a total spiral that get's harder to cheer up from.
(I just reread that last bit an it sounds sooo wanky and pretentious, so try to read it in a silly voice to offset my poor writing form...)
[ 30 January 2002: Message edited by: x004x ]
![:\](https://bluelight.org/xf/BL_Images/Orig_Emoji/wrygrin.gif "wry grin :\")
