Drug Addicts: The Nemisis of Organization

[Bojangles69]

One thing that I have consistently noticed about myself and drug addicts at large is that a lot of us are *extremely* disorganized people.

I've even met "successful" drug addicts that may get up and go to work everyday but somewhere you always see their lives are plagued with a lack of organization. Maybe at work they can hold it together but then thier car is a mess, or their bedroom or bathroom, something always seems to be there in terms of not being organized. Maybe even their diet may be disorganized they may not eat food all day untill late at night when they binge on tons of calories to compensate.

Another thing I have noticed is this one powerful force has also created at least 90% of my problems. I can go through each one individually but instead reflect on your own life and how this might apply to it.

I'm still trying hard to stablize both my mental and physical health and I really can not stress how much efforts towards organization have been helping me get back to "normal". And I'm doing lots of things I never did before that have been adding to my ambition levels as well. Being wikid organized can really motivate you because once you start to reap the rewards of being organized (like learning how to financially manage yourself and saving money), you begin to see how efficiently organization can transform to "power". Thats power in life. If you consistently exert or use "organization" in life it slowly makes you a more powerful person. This is huge for a drug addict as they start to lose power over so many things when things are going bad.

I have been finding as many ways as I can to do this like realizing WHAT THE FUCK miscrosoft outlook is, what it is capable of, and why I've never used this program in my life to organize things.

I also made an excell document with a column for *everything* and I mean everything I could possibly spend money on a regular basis. Like food, suboxone, cigs, coffee, junk food, gas, pot, insurance, you can find lots of things to put on your list. And I record everyday what I buy, if I buy something, and how much money I spent, then I total it out and put the total by the date. I do once document for every month. I also prelist things I will NEED to spend money on. Like insurance and student loans. I write the amount down for that month on future dates when I will be paying that specific bill. This way I can directly look at my spending habits, and look at future bills, and IMMEDIATELY know how to alter my spending so I NEVER go broke, or leave a bill unpaid and what not.

I have also done a sleep record for my insomnia (I have other things being recorded however besides just when I sleep, like what time I drank coffee for that day, what time I took my sub, really anything that can make my insomnia worse) a work task record for a large transformation I'm doing on my bedroom and an activity list on a calendar in outlook so everyday I can wake up, open the calendar and know how my whole month will pan out. What time I have work on what day, future events blah blah. Even need to use a pill organizer now because I never had a specific time when I take all my meds and was always forgetting whether I took a particular one. Except for sub lol never need a reminder for that. But for my BP meds it has helped a ton. I'd find myself with hotflashes on random days thinking it was the sub, when it was really cause I forgot to take my Norvasc or mistakenly assumed I already took it (which is more aptly what happens the most).

Point is this stuff has been helping me more than ANYTHING I can really put a solid finger on. Other things addicts do you can't always be sure how much it may help but this effort towards mass organization has helped me more than anything I can think of. And being on sub and being able to slowly taper and not use my DOC has obviously helped a lot too. I still got a long way to go as I'm tweaking all my behavoirs slowly but consistently, but slowly and surely I also feel like I'm getting there. I'm building my life or "my world" now and I like it. It gives me things to look forward too, and really sharpens my focus in life. Really can not recommend organization enough, I doubt anyone in this world ever really succeeds on compulsivity alone. And there is definitely something to be derived from that.

 

[woamotive]

Honestly, and this is something I think about often (being a drug addict) -- I believe drug addicts are extremely organized, ritualized, regimental beings. We like structure. no surprises, set appointments... so to speak. I don't appreciative a curve ball, where I have to 're-plan' my day: how to get this at 'this time' so that I'm able to 'do this and that'. That's just too much. If i were disorganized, I wouldn't give a shit - and go with the flow.

I have each step of the day planned out to a T. I'm cranky if ONE thing doesn't go as planned. I do also keep track of my finances -- yes some drug addicts are smart on the way into addiction... haha. I've been keeping track of my money (in and money out) for some time now. I would be curious to see a poll on this. How many drug addicts consider themselves organized, how many see themselves as unorganized? Then -- how do OTHERS perceive you - organized? disorganized? **is a two poll thread possible?

* I believe this to be a very interesting discussion (potentially).

 

[effie]

It is an interesting topic

I too know a lot of disorganised addicts. I wonder what the causal relationship is (if any..)

Perhaps people who develop addictions are the sort of people who are naturally a little disorganised and chaotic, and this is one of the factors (of course there are many, many more) that causes them to become addicted when others don't? Or if it is the other way around, and the lifestyle of a drug addict makes you that way? As you say though, woamotive, there are also some very organised people out there and addicts I think can become supremely organised about aquiring and consuming their DOC, to the detriment of everything else, hence appearing very disorganised from the outside..

I'm a very disorganised person at heart, everyone who knows me would agree, but I am trying hard to bring a little order into my life. I don't like unexpected surprises either, and I like to have plans (I plan a LOT) but I am a very messy person (in terms of untidiness) and not good with finances or organising my time at all. It's a strange mix...

Glad this is helping you, Bojangles I certainly know I feel a lot better and less stressed when I am in control of things...

 

[Knox Harrington]

I see what you are talking about. As a recovering addict I am confronting the fact that I am a total control freak. When I set my mind to it (like planning buying, using and buying more) I was rigidly organized and would flip out if anythign went askew. My life in general was a mess at the same time. In recovery I have a ton of time and energy that I can force myself to channel into positive forms of organization. I love the xls spending tracker idea. I never needed one before because all I did was balance the purchase of uppers with the purchase of downers. Now that I am not drug broke all the time I am starting to almost feel overwhelmed by all the literal and figurative space in my life.

I see other recovered addicts with significant clean time and a lot of them have found relative success but its seems to come from harnessing their control issues and balancing the tendency to let some things slip with figuring out whats important. I totally empathize with your comment Bojangles. Having some organization forces accountability. By being disorganized I never had to face how bad things really were and it made it easier to live in abject denial. Now accountability gives me a sense of progress and purpose. Cool topic.

Knox

 

[xxsicknessxx]

sober I notice things have to be in order, controller, clean, neat, organized. Using im a mess. I think your right. Im not sure why though. I would say that your mind reflects your life. If your messed up in the head and using your life will be a mess. Might not be dependent on if your using drugs or not though I think its more just if you can handle it becasue I know addicts who keep there shit together. Though never a hardcore user

 

[EndlessSummer]

I'm extremely organized and well-off too, but I wouldn't characterize myself as an addict. That's probably the line of differentiation.

 

[Legerity]

I'm pretty disorganized/scattered whether I'm using drugs or not. I'd be talking to my colleagues or boss at work and I just zone out and think about other things and can't remember anything they said. My psychiatrist put me on a really low dose of ADD meds for a while and I swear I was a completely different person; my sleep patterns got better, I was more focused, and it's like my mind was just working normally for once.

A while back I started this organization system "Get Things Done" and I swear I got TOO proactive. I had to stop because I was just doing too much and always wanting to get the next thing done. Maybe I'm just nuts I don't know but I feel best somewhere in the middle without being too much of a sloth and not running around all day stressing about doing things.

 

[villian]

For what it's worth, I'm definitely the disorganized type. There were small periods of time (maybe a couple months) where I would write out lists of things to do for the day, record my calorie intake, record my workouts and do them on a schedule. I guess I was fairly happy then, I was certainly more healthy.

I've slipped back into my old habits and I'm not doing any of those things, and for the most part I'm not doing shit. I have a desk in the corner of my room that has been sitting there for 2 weeks waiting to be assembled, and I actually bought the desk and left it in a closet months ago. Step by step..

At the moment I'm merely content with myself because I am able to maintain at my classes at school, but really at this point in my life that is like bare mininum acceptable behavior.

I used to always have a girlfriend around to kick my ass into doing stuff, but I still don't think I'm ready for another relationship. I act like such a fucking slob on my own. However, I seem to be content with the bare mininum. I noticed October/November/December have consistently been difficult months for me over the past 4+ years.