Drug addicted father

[Charles46]

I am new to this forum and need advice about my father's drug addiction problem. I am 19 and my dad is an end stage drug addict. Now it has become very difficult for him to withdraw from it. He wants to stop but keeps on relapsing. I feel guilty and want to help him but he doesn't want my help. I'm looking for any good and insurance covered addiction recovery treatment centre(https://helixhealthcaregroup.com/programs/https://helixhealthcaregroup.com/programs/ ) in Toronto for him. Any suggestions? While browsing I found many rehab sites like the helix healthcare. But don't know whether they can be trusted. Please share your thoughts.

 

[manboychef]

You should click the link in my signature and check out sober living. There is a sticky of peoples rehab experiences.

If I were in your shoes I would look into suboxone or methadone if it is an opiate habit.

 

[herbavore]

Your Dad will have to want this for himself. He is probably exhausted and fatalistic, a very natural fallout of relapse after relapse. People blame themselves deep inside, focus on what they perceive to be personal failure. The best that you can do is to get help for yourself--Al-anon, NAMI family-to-family (if there are underlying mental health issues like depression), anything available to you as the child of an addict. You've got your own wounds and scar tissue building up while focused on the crisis of your Dad's condition. You are a wonderful son for trying so hard to help him and I am not trying to discourage you from that--just trying to make sure that you know that you cannot save another, only support him with being the healthiest and most centered you can be.

In my opinion rehabs vary greatly but there are few to none that could truly break through to someone that is not ready to risk trying.

 

[Moreaux]

Your Dad will have to want this for himself. He is probably exhausted and fatalistic, a very natural fallout of relapse after relapse. People blame themselves deep inside, focus on what they perceive to be personal failure. The best that you can do is to get help for yourself--Al-anon, NAMI family-to-family (if there are underlying mental health issues like depression), anything available to you as the child of an addict. You've got your own wounds and scar tissue building up while focused on the crisis of your Dad's condition. You are a wonderful son for trying so hard to help him and I am not trying to discourage you from that--just trying to make sure that you know that you cannot save another, only support him with being the healthiest and most centered you can be.

In my opinion rehabs vary greatly but there are few to none that could truly break through to someone that is not ready to risk trying.

Very well said and true. It is very easy for family to lose themselves in a loved one's addiction. Your father is not going to get sober until he is ready and wants it. This is not a failing on your part but the nature of addiction. Your father is battling his own private demons. The best thing you can do is educate yourself about addiction. The Sober Living forum on this site is a great start.

Your father is in a great deal of pain and most likely harbours much guilt about his addiction, and is very sick. Please know this is an illness and not a matter of selfishness or lack of self control. You can certainly encourage him to get treatment but don't try to force him as that will build resentment and animosity. Try to be supportive and loving, which I suspect you already are doing. Try not to lose yourself in his illness, the best way to do so is to establish solid boundaries.

I wish you and your father the best!

 

[neversickanymore]

Here is some more good information around dealing with a loved ones addiction

Support For Those Affected by the Addiction of Others