Drug "abuse" saved my life

[narftheshotgunguy]

Hello people

Im new here so please play nicely. After 16 years of serious depression and physical illness i was desperate, i mean really desperate. I had lost everything, a wife (she couldnt live with a zombie any more, i had to live my life emotionless or i would just loose it), a successful business and all my friends because i keep to myself.

I dont want to sound overly dramatic but i attempted suicide once when i was 14 (my lack of knowledge of human anatomy meant that this attempt was a fail.) A year ago i had already made my mind up, i was was gonna end it all, however because my brother hanged himself and my father mutilated/ cut himself to end it all i didnt want to put my family through that.

A major factor in all this is that i couldnt sleep for 3 days at a time and the doctors dont do anything about it. My CFS meant i couldnt really do much and without help from other people i simply couldnt look after myself. There are varying degrees of CFS, i seem to have a more aggressive form, and my allergies where so bad that i couldnt find a place inside to settle down and sleep, i am allergic to wood of all things.... everything is made of wood ffs. I had seen a couple of psych doctors and they say its not in my head and my bloodwork shows my IgE (allergies, cancer and parasites) white cells where 653, 0 to 25 is normal.

Anyway i decided to try drugs to end it all. I used alot of Soma and Pregabalin and phenergan and tramadol and dylantin, and asprin with codeine and a few others. All that happened is i had a really fun night, i felt cheeky and happy and i was smiling from ear to ear so much that it hurt my face muscles. And then after a few hours i passed out and had a 14 hour sleep. I had never slept so well and the next day i had no hangover and i leaped out of bed and was ready to tackle the day, i cleaned up the house, did some excersize and altho i could still fell the allergies, the discomfort didnt over take my nerves/ mind and so i had the ablity to ignore them to a certain degree,

And so now i repeat the same thing and i am getting my life together and altho im now broke as the drugs are expensive, i feel well enough to work again and start a home business, the wife is even talking to me and i am not scared of being emotional and sharing my thoughts and feelings with my wife. I sleep every night. Life is now fantastic.

Drug abuse saved my life.

 

[RobotRipping]

i wouldn't say drug abuse saved your life but maybe these medications are useful for you. Now the proper thing to do is to make this whole solution sustainable and safe.

What drugs are you using now? and how long have you been using them? With many drugs tolerance will eventually get you but IME if you are using drugs to function rather than chasing a high your tolerance will be manageable for quite a while. It's interesting to hear the other side of drug use sometimes, i have my own stories of how drug use has positively affected my life but be prepared to hear quite a bit of skepticism and general warnings.

 

[Vaya]

The message being conveyed here really isn't appropriate for The Dark Side.

TDS>>>DC

~ Vaya

 

[bais3]

Are you using prescribed drugs or street ones? Here where i live no doctor would prescribe you this drugs, daily, unless you are dying of cancer or have broken bones. Street ones are expensive and cut with shit, they'll make you broke and reduce your lifespan.

Nevertheless I think you're right: drugs may be GOOD and USEFUL for some people, in fact if I had the power I would legalize them all... but not gonna happen, sadly

 

[euphoria]

Maybe you just need some more FUN in your life, don't focus on the allergies, don't focus on your father or brother, focus on YOU and what you want to do with your life. You don't have to condemn yourself. You can literally do anything you want. Even if its just get high and clean your house and exercise. Shit I do that every day. I hope that you slowly start to find some medications that will work for you and you will be able to find a lot of information on this site about harm reduction - reducing the harm to your body while using drugs, and being intelligent about your drug use. Here's to one day at a time!

 

[2c-goinsane]

Have you ever considered mushrooms lsd dmt or mescaline, or even Ketamine? or some other trusted RCs that gives you a nice after glow and opens you up. what i think your getting from mixing all those pharms is similar to why some use psychedelics. you do have to be careful with them there definitely not toys, you really gotta be careful with any drug your consuming though.