I said i wouldn't let you have it...
that little piece of me deep down
that aches everyday to come alive again.
i go about my day with a painted on smile
that everyone believes
"Hi, I'm your waitress"
and I smile, and i joke and laugh
and i'm everyone's best friend
the girl that's always smiling
and i think,
You stupid people
Can't you see through this facade??
I'm broken inside, crumbling, falling and falling apart a little more each day
I'm worn at the edges,
My eyes don't have that sparkle anymore
Heavy lids and dark circles have replaced it
It almost hurts to smile
Becuase I know how it will all end
And i let you into my heart anyway
Because you were everything i wanted
and i couldn't pass up the chance to see
what i had pushed away all this time...
and i was sorry that i had.
i could have been the girl who you laughed with everyday,
instead of the girl who broke your heart,
and you could have been the guy who swept me off my feet,
instead of the guy who torn me in a million pieces
but here we are...
falling for each other
(well, at least i've fallen for you)
despite knowing what October will bring
when you're living your dreams thousands of miles away,
and i'm here,
alone again.
I let my heart out in the open
Because something told me to give it
just one more chance...
Someday, you *have* to trust *someone* again...
And all the while,
you held my emotions in the palm of your hand
You let sunshine into my room
for the first time in months.
You put hope in my heart,
that even if this night turned into tomorrow,
and tomorrow turned into next month,
and next month into forever...
that it would have been worth it
to say i had you.
And as the sun came up on another passionate night
I expected to find bliss in my soul once more...
And instead, the inevitable happened.
This is the part where we fall asleep in each other's arms...
That's how it's been these past few weeks
And then tonight,
After what seemed like the best night of all of them,
You turn away.
You sit up in my bed, and you just think
And your thoughts race through my room
But i never know what they are
You are silent.
And the silence kills me.
Just minutes ago you were telling me i made you feel incredible...
telling me how you missed me these past couple days...
And now your silence says its bullshit...
Just another line
And i should have known it.
I beg you, plead with you
To tell me what's on your mind.
Say something at least, goddammit
But you are silent.
And i fall back into your arms
With tears in my eyes
And turn my own back to you
Squeezing my eyes shut
So that the tears dont burn my eyelids
And behind closed lids,
I see Justin's face
And i replay a thousand moments
that broke my heart
and it breaks all over again
You caress my cheek,
And i know you feel those tears
And i beg you once more,
Tell me what i've done wrong
But you are silent
And i know.
That's the silence of trying to put into words
How you're going to break someone's heart
It's the silence of wondering what they will say
When you tell them what they dreaded all along
It's the silence that talks so loudly...
Saying the things you cannot bear to hear
So i hear it all in my mind...
The whispered words "I'm sorry"
Cuz you could have ended this long ago,
Before my feelings got involved
You could have laid it all out
But you never did
And i trusted you
The way i shouldn't have
And when the trickle of tears is now a sob,
All you can mutter is that it has nothing to do with me,
It's just all the bullshit in your life
And you can't sleep
Because its on your mind...
There is no bullshit
You have everything you want
And i was just a toy
And you dont know how to break a girl's heart very well
I was stupid
for thinking it could be...
when we walked through the spring rain today,
I was so intrigued by you
Because i thought i had finally overstepped that damn barrier to keep up
And when it began to pour
I felt like nothing in the world mattered
at the moment...
Soaking wet,
You twirled me in your arms
And kissed me like no one has ever kissed me before
And it was that moment today
in the rain,
That i fell so deeply for you.
And now,
drowning in a silence
that is breaking my heart,
You are just like all the rest of them
And today will be another one of those awful days
Where i go about my life alone again
Wishing i never wasted my time with you
Or with him
Or the guy before him...
And now my roommate can stop bitching about being sickened by everyone else's happiness...
Everyone has what they want now...
This boy has had his memorable fuck
The roommate doesn't have to pretend to be happy for her best friend
And the girl...
She drifts along with the painted smile
Fooling everyone
into thinking...
she's OK.
that little piece of me deep down
that aches everyday to come alive again.
i go about my day with a painted on smile
that everyone believes
"Hi, I'm your waitress"
and I smile, and i joke and laugh
and i'm everyone's best friend
the girl that's always smiling
and i think,
You stupid people
Can't you see through this facade??
I'm broken inside, crumbling, falling and falling apart a little more each day
I'm worn at the edges,
My eyes don't have that sparkle anymore
Heavy lids and dark circles have replaced it
It almost hurts to smile
Becuase I know how it will all end
And i let you into my heart anyway
Because you were everything i wanted
and i couldn't pass up the chance to see
what i had pushed away all this time...
and i was sorry that i had.
i could have been the girl who you laughed with everyday,
instead of the girl who broke your heart,
and you could have been the guy who swept me off my feet,
instead of the guy who torn me in a million pieces
but here we are...
falling for each other
(well, at least i've fallen for you)
despite knowing what October will bring
when you're living your dreams thousands of miles away,
and i'm here,
alone again.
I let my heart out in the open
Because something told me to give it
just one more chance...
Someday, you *have* to trust *someone* again...
And all the while,
you held my emotions in the palm of your hand
You let sunshine into my room
for the first time in months.
You put hope in my heart,
that even if this night turned into tomorrow,
and tomorrow turned into next month,
and next month into forever...
that it would have been worth it
to say i had you.
And as the sun came up on another passionate night
I expected to find bliss in my soul once more...
And instead, the inevitable happened.
This is the part where we fall asleep in each other's arms...
That's how it's been these past few weeks
And then tonight,
After what seemed like the best night of all of them,
You turn away.
You sit up in my bed, and you just think
And your thoughts race through my room
But i never know what they are
You are silent.
And the silence kills me.
Just minutes ago you were telling me i made you feel incredible...
telling me how you missed me these past couple days...
And now your silence says its bullshit...
Just another line
And i should have known it.
I beg you, plead with you
To tell me what's on your mind.
Say something at least, goddammit
But you are silent.
And i fall back into your arms
With tears in my eyes
And turn my own back to you
Squeezing my eyes shut
So that the tears dont burn my eyelids
And behind closed lids,
I see Justin's face
And i replay a thousand moments
that broke my heart
and it breaks all over again
You caress my cheek,
And i know you feel those tears
And i beg you once more,
Tell me what i've done wrong
But you are silent
And i know.
That's the silence of trying to put into words
How you're going to break someone's heart
It's the silence of wondering what they will say
When you tell them what they dreaded all along
It's the silence that talks so loudly...
Saying the things you cannot bear to hear
So i hear it all in my mind...
The whispered words "I'm sorry"
Cuz you could have ended this long ago,
Before my feelings got involved
You could have laid it all out
But you never did
And i trusted you
The way i shouldn't have
And when the trickle of tears is now a sob,
All you can mutter is that it has nothing to do with me,
It's just all the bullshit in your life
And you can't sleep
Because its on your mind...
There is no bullshit
You have everything you want
And i was just a toy
And you dont know how to break a girl's heart very well
I was stupid
for thinking it could be...
when we walked through the spring rain today,
I was so intrigued by you
Because i thought i had finally overstepped that damn barrier to keep up
And when it began to pour
I felt like nothing in the world mattered
at the moment...
Soaking wet,
You twirled me in your arms
And kissed me like no one has ever kissed me before
And it was that moment today
in the rain,
That i fell so deeply for you.
And now,
drowning in a silence
that is breaking my heart,
You are just like all the rest of them
And today will be another one of those awful days
Where i go about my life alone again
Wishing i never wasted my time with you
Or with him
Or the guy before him...
And now my roommate can stop bitching about being sickened by everyone else's happiness...
Everyone has what they want now...
This boy has had his memorable fuck
The roommate doesn't have to pretend to be happy for her best friend
And the girl...
She drifts along with the painted smile
Fooling everyone
into thinking...
she's OK.
both at the sadness of your thoughts, and the beauty of your words. 
