dropping out college

nothing interests me. except feelings- like drugs, love, things i describe in rhymes in notebooks.

im in college. i hate hate hate learning. teachers are merely reading textbooks. the information is bullshit. i want to learn ideas. my mind has an exceptional aptitude for learning things that are deep and convuluted, however there are no such deep sources of knowledge around. i find fucktardedness everywhere. stupid motherfuckers inhabit this planet, bluelight. what do i do to satisfy my mind? i like psychology however learning dates and psychlgsts. names are bullshit. i am a programming god however there is a high math requirement for a computers major, and i cannot do math. i speak both english and spanish fluently since the age of 12.

but i need to escape. where do i belong. what job should i get. what is worth anything. i always thought it was love. but now i realize that something shitty can always happen to a relationship, and no one is in the mood to listen if you absolutely need help at a slightly inconvenient time.

whadya do with no family. whadya do with friends who arent real people. whad do i do with the girls i love killing me. what do i do to not do opiates.

whys life gotta be so confusing n why the people in it gotta fuck with me

 

I hear ya on the Computer Science major. It really should be called Advanced Math since there really isn't much more than a shitload of math classes.

I respect folks who are bi-lingual. Is there anyway you can use that to your benefit?

Personally, I learn a lot from textbooks (but I'm not the smartest dude in the world). I even learn more from doing some sort of service work for others (especially when I don't want to). I think it has to do with actually experiencing lessons as opposed to being 'taught' lessons.

Shit ain't easy, man and I wish there was something an anonymous internet dude like me could do to make it easier. If there is, please shoot a PM

 

i dont know the only way ive ever used it besides to slide through spanish class, is when i used to deal to/from the mexicans...

ive done a lot of volunteering in my day. i love kids and everyday after high school i used to go to a kindergarten class and tutor this mexican girl that couldnt speak english. all that experience taught me was how broke and pathetic schools are unfortunately.

i guess im just not a fan of the scene these days. worlds a fucked up place.

 

I feel ya. I wanted to apply for a job at the local needle exchange but they strongly encourage english/spanish speaking applicants.

I wish i had some decent advice, man, but you are right... everyone does have their own unique circumstances that the standard 'help' just doesn't cover. Positive thoughts sent your way and the hope that you are almost at the end of these challenges is all that can be offered

keep strong, man... its definitely gotta pass soon