one dream a few days ago i was eating and then realized what i was eating were beetles, which could resemble scarabs.
there was a male friend, who looked hispanic with plenty of native american, south american native in him, but it was said that he was scottish. he did have a good deal of "caucasian" to his structuring, possibly. but his skin was darker. spanish.
we were in an apartment. i don't remember a lot. but we sort of shared a place. but i was supposed to be on a team with him, in some form, and i kept forgetting what i was doing- a feeling akin to joining a mission in a game, like grand theft auto, and then forgetting i was playing, neglecting the team, and failing, and this happened at least a couple of times.
he was a really nice, beautiful male. intelligent, rational, but at one point, he got tired of me dozing, and lifted up a gun and shot me in the head, i think. or he was going to. but that's certainly not the end.
i ate a beetle or five, not realizing what i was doing- thinking i was eating other things, and i know it happened multiple times.
a dominant color in memory was blue.
it might be easy for me to want them to be something associated and recognizable, as a scarab. i just know they were beetles. the only easy tie to scarab besides their look, generally, is that scarabs are symbols of rebirth, and this being in some apartment, which may have been a new home, resonates with my searching for a rebirth- a new apartment. that, and the fact that i think i was shot in the head and didn't die.
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i just woke up from a dream where i remember i was playing a game, as well. my brother was also playing. cars were being driven. there was ice on the road. there were kids, who looked up to people. can't remember a lot of it. it was like real life, mixed with a game. we had reached some level. friends were involved. i remember my friend alston was around. many people from my school- schools growing up.
but something changed. i remember woods. and being on some mission. and i was with a group, a small group, and we were gaining points, moving up, up a hill, there is a concrete and rock barrier. i raise up, and don't have my weapon drawn, but my team takes out the enemies. though, i feel a bit worthless, having forgot, again, to have my weapon out and ready.
my brother was in some vehicle. he entered an interstate, perhaps sliding down. i followed, and there was enough ice to where i had no traction, and was sideways.
then i was on roller blades, and i was nearly flying through the air, and when I would land, i would grind, on edges, but only very lightly would i seem to touch, and then i'd be off again, seemingly, like there was little gravity-- that i got to defy it.
once, i flew past people, thinking i would rest within their stream a little, but i just flew, and kept going, flying along in the air, clearing many obstacles with ease. the last part i remember was being over a track of sorts, or skating rink/track, with a central, park area, or just an area with a big rock or many, and grass, and shrubs.
i seem to remember a friend, brian... we call him burgy- short for his last name, who was living in a van, with his girlfriend. in her home, but in his van.
there was a male friend, who looked hispanic with plenty of native american, south american native in him, but it was said that he was scottish. he did have a good deal of "caucasian" to his structuring, possibly. but his skin was darker. spanish.
we were in an apartment. i don't remember a lot. but we sort of shared a place. but i was supposed to be on a team with him, in some form, and i kept forgetting what i was doing- a feeling akin to joining a mission in a game, like grand theft auto, and then forgetting i was playing, neglecting the team, and failing, and this happened at least a couple of times.
he was a really nice, beautiful male. intelligent, rational, but at one point, he got tired of me dozing, and lifted up a gun and shot me in the head, i think. or he was going to. but that's certainly not the end.
i ate a beetle or five, not realizing what i was doing- thinking i was eating other things, and i know it happened multiple times.
a dominant color in memory was blue.
it might be easy for me to want them to be something associated and recognizable, as a scarab. i just know they were beetles. the only easy tie to scarab besides their look, generally, is that scarabs are symbols of rebirth, and this being in some apartment, which may have been a new home, resonates with my searching for a rebirth- a new apartment. that, and the fact that i think i was shot in the head and didn't die.
-------
i just woke up from a dream where i remember i was playing a game, as well. my brother was also playing. cars were being driven. there was ice on the road. there were kids, who looked up to people. can't remember a lot of it. it was like real life, mixed with a game. we had reached some level. friends were involved. i remember my friend alston was around. many people from my school- schools growing up.
but something changed. i remember woods. and being on some mission. and i was with a group, a small group, and we were gaining points, moving up, up a hill, there is a concrete and rock barrier. i raise up, and don't have my weapon drawn, but my team takes out the enemies. though, i feel a bit worthless, having forgot, again, to have my weapon out and ready.
my brother was in some vehicle. he entered an interstate, perhaps sliding down. i followed, and there was enough ice to where i had no traction, and was sideways.
then i was on roller blades, and i was nearly flying through the air, and when I would land, i would grind, on edges, but only very lightly would i seem to touch, and then i'd be off again, seemingly, like there was little gravity-- that i got to defy it.
once, i flew past people, thinking i would rest within their stream a little, but i just flew, and kept going, flying along in the air, clearing many obstacles with ease. the last part i remember was being over a track of sorts, or skating rink/track, with a central, park area, or just an area with a big rock or many, and grass, and shrubs.
i seem to remember a friend, brian... we call him burgy- short for his last name, who was living in a van, with his girlfriend. in her home, but in his van.