Dr Done Finally Releases His 'Interesting Information'

firstly, i call my methadone doctor 'Dr Done'
i think the auckland methadone services r pretty fucked really - serving all the ex-junkies in the auckland region (a pretty big region - like a third of NZ....at least 1 million ppl!) - yet they only hav one clinic....and 2 doctors

one doctor i refuse to see cos hes....an asshole (he knew me from my multiple trips to detox - and yes those methadone doctors also manage all the detox clients!)
that one just said to me oneday 'Lydia, ur the most complicated case ive ever had to deal with'
i replied 'then dont deal with me' - and i laid a complaint (i tend to do a lot of that wen it comes to the public health system )
he also told me that i wudnt b able to hav serum level tests done (to find out if im a fast metaboliser - i suspected i was, cos no matter wat dose i went up to, it never held me thru to the morning!) until i reached 170mg!

my new doctor ('Dr Done' - not quite so bad, quite gentle; still makes it well-known he knows im playing around with other drugs and i 'shudnt b mixing this and that with methadone'.....oh and he thinks im 'neurotic'...which i guess i am to b fair) told me this was complete and utter bullshit - that u cud hav serum levels checked at any level.....i was like 'ur kidding! u mean i didnt possibly hav to go thru all this BS and cud hav had all this done ages ago?' and he was like 'yea basically'
i was on 150mg wen i finally got the forms off him, one blood test to take in the morning before i had my methadone, one to take 4 hrs afterwards (the general 'peak' of most ppls methadone levels)

i dreaded taking the morning one.....i am used to waking sick: aching all over, stiff, shaky, runny nose, watery eyes, sneezing and yawning (oh and very irritable - i cudnt even b bothered brushing my hair wen i went to dose i felt so yuk)....so having a blood test, waiting in a room full of ppl while i was sweating like a pig and sneezing and sniffing, well that was not fun!
the later one wasnt fun either cos i get so little sleep from (what ive found out r methadone wds!) that usually i spend hours sleeping in the afternoon
yet another reason i had to give in my job as mod in the end!

well wen Dr Done got the results i got rung immediately by my case manager saying 'oh the doctor has some interesting results for u' (this is back in maybe august.....)
i asked her if the tests had revealed if i was a fast metaboliser and she said she cudnt disclose that info
i asked if she knew and she said that, yes she did, but she still cudnt discuss it with me 8(

well cos theres only those 2 fucking doctors covering all the methadone clients in the auckland region (plus all the detox clients which come pretty frequently) there wasnt a place for me to see Dr Done till NO-fucking-VEMBER!
gotta luv the NZ public health service eh

finally couple of days ago i went to see the guy (taking Keira with me for support) and he is actually a nice guy, commenting that i seem a lot better for having found someone (actually i was partly calmed by wat he had to tell me!!!)
he told me that my results showed a minimal amount of methadone in my system even 4 hrs after dosing.....and before dosing there was nothing in my system
by then i was taking 167.5mg daily!
he said that i was the fastest metaboliser hed ever come across

instead of splitting my doses into morning/night, hes just plain added another 20mg at night time and i am still allowed to climb higher up the scale another 30mg in the morning before he has to reapprove and rewrite another script

i sometimes feel a bit self-conscious cos i know im one of the ppl at the clinic on the highest doses - and shit, i will never fully stabilise until im fully off valium
im down to 24mg of valium tonight and planning to put my done up by 5mg next week wen i go away to the hunting lodge with my mum and my darling Keira

however, shit happens - and i know ive gotta get off 'done someday (after ive got off valium - and yes, i will b way into the 200s by then.....it WONT b easy!)
Keira and i call each other 'troopers' - hailing from the Iron Maiden song
cos wen were waiting for the next attack, ud better stand, theres no turning back!

now im taking methadone at night as well, im a diffrent person
i wake with only valium wds
no more gooseflesh, hot/cold flushes, runny nose/eyes, runs for the toilet, etc

apparently ppl with ADHD often do hav fast metabolisms
i was told by another 'done patient thats probly wat it is - my friend Tanea
thanks Tanz, now im well - to a degree (and even to a degree means a lot to me )

 

Don't worry about the high dose you're taking hun... everybody metabolises drugs at different rates, so there's not much point comparing your dose to somebody else's. I'm just glad you don't seem to be feeling as sick in the mornings! I've already noticed a big improvement there!

 

yea its great eh - can finally get outta bed and eat brekky before my dose (not that i eat brekky)
dose is now 180mg altogether - going up to 185mg tomorrow (docs putting up my night dose)

its not the metabolism that means i hav to b on a high dose sadly, hun - its just that i came in on a high dose of smack and detox wudnt let me stay for long enough

most ppl in NZ (as u know) cant even access heroin unless
A. they know a black tar connection - usually in the CBD on karangahape rd
B. they know someone in a biker gang - then ur more likely to score china white
unfortunately, for me that was B - and as u know i still know them

therefore the other methadone clients tend to b (the bulk of them) coming off MSTs.....or some of them, oxy (the 'old-timers', who hav bn on the 'done for ages....well theyre the ones who r more likely to hav bn smackheads too)

(btw i hate dick-sizing, and am not doing so here ok!)

sometimes i wish i was still on H cos methadone is such a hassle wen u want to go on holiday etc (and theres no rush or anything - sposed to b worse to kick too!)

but more bout that in other entries....

i tried suboxone but that fucked with my ADHD for some reason (made me almost manic )

 

Yeah, I now know what you meant when you first called methadone "liquid handcuffs!". Still, it's much safer than smack. I'm so relieved you got off that stuff babe. Thankfully I've never even tried true heroin, although I could probably access it through my connections in Auckland if I really wanted some... not that I ever would.

 

ud better bloody well not - or ill go back on it

besides babe - the first time u just get a massive rush, throw up, pass out and dont feel all that great
dunno why i persisted tbh

maybe cos the second time was much better.....