TDS Don't want to move away from home

[Pagey]

I'm not sure where to start really. I don't have a real question, I could just do with some support
It feels like I'm falling apart. I'm moving to London in about a week to start my second year of university. I spent my summer back home in Paris with my family and all my good friends. Also got back wih my ex in the meantime and it's been going amazingly well. I do not want to leave. There is literally nothing worthwhile for me in London aside from my course. I don't have any good friends there since I was too busy doing heroin during my first year to meet people. I'm going ot be living completely alone an hour and a half away from uni and from most people. I'm afraid I'm going to turn to opiates again because I'll be so lonely.
I've been spending the summer with my best friends & boyfriend and it's been amazing, and I'm jut nto ready to say goodbye to any of them. I'll be able to come back to Paris but...only every six weeks at best. I don't know how to face this move. I'm obviosly going to be making extra efforts to be social and really meet new people/get closer to the people I know there and all, but it feels like it's never really going to be that good now I can compare it to Paris and now I associate it with my depressive first year on heroin.
On top of which I celebrated 3 months clean a couple weeks ago and threw that all away this week because I'm so scared about the move and don't know how else to deal with it. I'm afraid once I'm in London I'll just og back to daily use because of the loneliness.

Anyway sorry I don't really know where I'm going with this. If anyone has had any similar experiences and could give me any kind of advice that'd be great. My main problem with this move is that it's not a new one or anything, so it's not particularly exciting and I'm not really expecting to meet new people or anything...I have to fix all the relationships I messed up on smack, all the while knowing there are all these great people at home I can't have around anymore. I mean how do I deal with that? I dont' want to go, at all, but I have to, because as far as university goes, this course really is the thing that interests me most

So yeah...anything would be helpeful. I hope that was clear enough. Thanks.

 

[Maya]

Hi Pagey, I sort of experienced the same kind of longing for friends and relatives I left back in my former country and man I even had a fight with my father as to why we need to migrate here in Canada. The first three months were really tough because I refused to go out and demanded that I go home and to just leave me alone but I lately realized that if me and my family didn't move, there won't be any surety of out future. It is hard to move away from people you love but you can think for now that these would all be temporary and that once you are done, you can go back and seek opportunities. Just think of the rewards after your school and it's not so bad after all. I hope this helps.

 

[Foreigner]

I moved away from home for university, but in my case it was about 2500km away so seeing everyone I knew every 6 weeks was not an option.

For me I had to make a decision. Either I was in this new, challenging place because there was some kind of important growth I had to do that could not be done in the comfort zone of family and life-long friends; or, the new place was wrong for me and it was teaching me that I really belonged back there with my family.

I think this is an important question you should ask yourself. Can school happen somewhere else? If you can remove school as a factor, then where would you rather be?

If you aren't using in France, and feel loved and supported, and everything feels right, then what's stopping you from going back there?

Whenever I wasn't sure, I would experiment with living a day as though I would be leaving the new place soon. I would act like it was for sure happening, and then analyzed all the stuff I would miss, and the potential regrets. Then on another day I lived the opposite decision -- the decision to really stay, unquestionably. The results were interesting.

 

[neversickanymore]

hey page.. every year back people make new friends.. just because you didn't pursue so much social stuff because of the use last year.. I mean I don't know how "uni" is for the brits, but in the states it generally a time of finding yourself and mixing with allot of people.. people come back new people show up people diaper.. I've been in A LOt of semesters at bunch of schools and I have moved more damn times.. her there, here again..

I almost think 2nd year is a better year to make good friends.. allot of people kinda get there 1st year and sorta go with the flow and hang out with a bunch of diffrent people.. sorta wide eye'd but I think after the debacles that often happen 1st year as well as just people starting to figure out who they are for real and identifying what they want I think that allot of people start to form stronger friendships 2nd year.. and allot of people grow apart from people they hung with 1st year.. It's school I dont know how many times I would hear people run into each other that were inseparable through gen eds and just drifted apart and my 4th year they can hardly remember each other's names.. peoples lives start taking different paths.. you get to know the people in your major and the people who travel some of your paths..

just be yourself and and dont fuckn worry about what other people think.. you will run into who you are supposed to.. just get out and mix with people.. your going to do great

 

[maxalfie]

I don't have any good friends
there since I was too busy doing heroin
during my first year to meet people.

Hi Pagey,as you said yourself you didn't meet many people as you were too busy taking heroin.
Heroin used to make me isolate myself from others, as long as I had my gear I was happy & had no need or desire to leave my flat and go out & meet people.
I never went to Uni but I imagine it's full of people who all want to have a wide social circle & as you are all away from home everyone will be wanting to make friends with each other.
If you can stay away from the gear or limit yr use as much as possible then get out and meet people and the more you meet and befriend then the more things you will have to do.
Rather than staying in doing gear alone force yourself to go out and have a good time with yr new friends.
A life on gear Pagey is wasted time. The longer you leave it the harder it will be.
You don't want to be like me, 42 years old and with only one true friend.
Uni is the ideal place to meet friends I imagine so do that rather than sitting at home alone.