There's something that makes me hate myself
That at a time when i should be the happiest person in the world for you,
I am bitter and sad,
And can think of nothing other than myself,
And how there's this newfound potential that i might get hurt,
Even though you assure me
Through careful words and pinky-promises that nothing will change.
I'm happy for you, really
That something you wanted so much
Has finally been handed to you yesterday,
As i watched
I'm happy that you can look back on your life and say,
"I'm something now."
Cuz many people around here, cant.
I'm just torn, because i don't deal well with change,
And the more i grow to love you,
The greater becomes this fear that i will lose you.
And i'm scared to death that one day i will wake up,
And you won't be there next to me
And my life will lose its purpose
And i will fall back into that spiral of utter dispair
That you rescued me out of a long time ago.
I thought alcohol could dim those fears last night.
I thought meaningless conversation with people i dont even like
Could make me forget, at least for a few hours
But all the jager in the world couldn't push you out of my mind,
And tears falling on an unpolished bartop
While a jukebox plays some sad song in the background
Is overrated,
Even for a girl with tear-filled blue eyes and a shirt still wearing your scent.
Yes, even that is a little too RealWorld-like.
It's not the first time i stumbled back to the place where i knew you would be,
And tried to cheer myself in the company of some regulars
Trying hard not to pass out, cry, or accept another shot
And even though i had given you a hard time all night about it
And couldn't look you in the eye without feeling disappointed
You still picked me up out of the booth and said "let's go home"
In that soft gentle way you say everything to me
And took me home where i could figure out how to end this night.
And laying in your arms, in a hot bubble bath
In a darkened bathroom with candles burning and my head spinning,
I wish i could have drowned myself there, right in front of you,
For treating you how i did tonight.
I wish we could have just stayed in that water-filled dream forever,
And i wouldn't have to worry
About all the things i constantly worry
And we could just feel perfect like that - perfect how last night was.
I don't want things to change.
And in bed, half asleep you still didn't refuse me when i said "kiss me"
And there was a tenderness in it that was something different
From everything i've felt with you in a long time.
It reminded me of that day, years ago, on your living room couch,
When you kissed me for the first time while BT played in the background,
And i remember it was the way you kissed me that made me fall for you
Harder and quicker than i had for anyone ever before.
A kiss that made me know you were the one
And last night, i got that reassurance
And it was stronger and more real than anything that had happened last night.
And the last thing i remember saying to you before we both fell asleep [passed out] was "Don't stop"
And you didnt....
And i'm sorry i didn't realize sooner
That you were right -- things won't change this time,
Because in some crazy insane unexplainable way,
You and i were just meant to be.
And maybe you were meant to be there,
And i was meant to be here,
But it doesn't matter as long as we both find our way back here
At the end of the day.
That at a time when i should be the happiest person in the world for you,
I am bitter and sad,
And can think of nothing other than myself,
And how there's this newfound potential that i might get hurt,
Even though you assure me
Through careful words and pinky-promises that nothing will change.
I'm happy for you, really
That something you wanted so much
Has finally been handed to you yesterday,
As i watched
I'm happy that you can look back on your life and say,
"I'm something now."
Cuz many people around here, cant.
I'm just torn, because i don't deal well with change,
And the more i grow to love you,
The greater becomes this fear that i will lose you.
And i'm scared to death that one day i will wake up,
And you won't be there next to me
And my life will lose its purpose
And i will fall back into that spiral of utter dispair
That you rescued me out of a long time ago.
I thought alcohol could dim those fears last night.
I thought meaningless conversation with people i dont even like
Could make me forget, at least for a few hours
But all the jager in the world couldn't push you out of my mind,
And tears falling on an unpolished bartop
While a jukebox plays some sad song in the background
Is overrated,
Even for a girl with tear-filled blue eyes and a shirt still wearing your scent.
Yes, even that is a little too RealWorld-like.
It's not the first time i stumbled back to the place where i knew you would be,
And tried to cheer myself in the company of some regulars
Trying hard not to pass out, cry, or accept another shot
And even though i had given you a hard time all night about it
And couldn't look you in the eye without feeling disappointed
You still picked me up out of the booth and said "let's go home"
In that soft gentle way you say everything to me
And took me home where i could figure out how to end this night.
And laying in your arms, in a hot bubble bath
In a darkened bathroom with candles burning and my head spinning,
I wish i could have drowned myself there, right in front of you,
For treating you how i did tonight.
I wish we could have just stayed in that water-filled dream forever,
And i wouldn't have to worry
About all the things i constantly worry
And we could just feel perfect like that - perfect how last night was.
I don't want things to change.
And in bed, half asleep you still didn't refuse me when i said "kiss me"
And there was a tenderness in it that was something different
From everything i've felt with you in a long time.
It reminded me of that day, years ago, on your living room couch,
When you kissed me for the first time while BT played in the background,
And i remember it was the way you kissed me that made me fall for you
Harder and quicker than i had for anyone ever before.
A kiss that made me know you were the one
And last night, i got that reassurance
And it was stronger and more real than anything that had happened last night.
And the last thing i remember saying to you before we both fell asleep [passed out] was "Don't stop"
And you didnt....
And i'm sorry i didn't realize sooner
That you were right -- things won't change this time,
Because in some crazy insane unexplainable way,
You and i were just meant to be.
And maybe you were meant to be there,
And i was meant to be here,
But it doesn't matter as long as we both find our way back here
At the end of the day.
Last edited:
