I've been looking forward to and planning for an upcoming event. I've even been taking some supplements to increase the roll and reduce damage. To my surprise, though, the enthusiasm is dampened. Very strange to me. It's not like I roll every weekend with a few hits each. I space it out among 2 months to a few months between, with only one or 1 1/2 pill at the most, each time. Nothing ever goes wrong, and I feel wonderful on it, and my tolerance is good. I'm dismayed. It's been an exhilarating, almost spiritual experience to me each time. So why do I feel like I don't see what the point of doing this is? Recently the social dynamics with the people I usually encounter at these events has changed and I'm not as thrilled to see them as I once was. I feel like I'd love to save these experiences for sharing with very special people or person. I wish I was of the mind to go by myself to these venues and events, not mind knowing anyone there, and enjoy rolling by myself/with strangers... (Why can't I be like that?) Even though once I'm sober I may decide that those strangers are not worth pursuing friendships with. I don't see the point!! Help.
