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don't say you understand

Mellabopper

Mellabopper

Bluelighter
Joined
Oct 16, 2000
Messages
3,811
Location
Boston
don't say you understand
because you don't
don't even try to explain
because i know
that you haven't felt
what i have.
you haven't had the pain
and the loss
and the anger and hatred
that i have.
you don't know what its like
to live your life feeling ugly
and unwanted
you don't know what its like
to be pushed away
and fucked over
and vulnerable
and lonely.
i have.
most of my life was lived like that.
so when you say you understand where i'm coming from,
do you really understand?
did you go through the same heartache as i did?
were you there that summer that i locked my heart away
broken into pieces,
to never be brought out again.
did you feel how i felt?
i doubt it.
you don't know
you just don't understand me completely
and even as much as you'd like to
or like to think you can,
you can't understand me.
no one can
not even me.
7-7-02
Mellabopper
 
I know you don't want to hear this, but I do understand and I can relate. I may not have encountered the same situations that you have, but I've felt what you have described here. I can, in all honesty, say that I have been there. It's a cold lonely feeling that no one should ever feel. The thing that keeps me going is that all of the pain and hurt only makes me stronger. Pain may make you shrink away from people but please don't choose lonliness. You are a strong person too and you aren't alone.
 
very moving. a great piece. too many times people say they understand when they really don't and just don't know what to say. false emphathy sucks.
((((mella)))
 
Originally posted by Sara Tonin:
I know you don't want to hear this, but I do understand and I can relate. I may not have encountered the same situations that you have, but I've felt what you have described here. I can, in all honesty, say that I have been there. It's a cold lonely feeling that no one should ever feel. The thing that keeps me going is that all of the pain and hurt only makes me stronger. Pain may make you shrink away from people but please don't choose lonliness. You are a strong person too and you aren't alone.
ditto
Click to expand...
 
of course no one will *truly* understand...it's all part of being an individual human. People will understand that you are in hurt. Recognizing that hurt, searching for its origin, and opening your heart again is what will help you heal.
regret drags us into the past, keeping our mind off the present, and jeopardizes our future. I hope one day you can forgive others...and more importantly, yourself.
 
i'm glad you still stuck around... i would have missed the brilliance that is works like this.
i <3 mella.
 
If there were that much understanding, we would all be out of things to talk about. But the one thing I do know is what an amazing woman you are. Although we haven't had much interaction lately, we did get that hug last month! And you are truly as beautiful in person as your mind is online. It's good to see your words again... keep that strength about you, it will last you for your whole life.
 
when i gave away the key to my heart, it was robbed,raped, and pushed back to the start. to look in the mirror, and be the one you fear, no one could understand, unless they were on the other side of that mirror, causing you to have that inner fear. i numbed the lifelessness further with drugs. and only came out of it with compassionate hugs. no one understands the twisted trauma in our own minds, no one can begin to try to untangle the vines. but here is what i have to say, i was alone in that same world too, that very same day. waiting for God to take me away, but, bless Him, he made me stay. even though i damned him for it, i took it back, and followed my beaten heart, back to that very same start. Keep Ya Head Up Babe. Peace.
[ 11 July 2002: Message edited by: Tribal Hybridz ]
 
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