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Don't really like raves anymore

washingtonbound

Bluelighter
Joined
Aug 19, 2013
Messages
572
Location
FL
Last night I went to a rave for the first time in a couple years, and it just felt strange and awkward. I was invited out by someone I met on this app called Couchsurfing, and had met up with him, his girlfriend and a few other people at their apartment beforehand. I realized at that point that socializing is becoming a bit more cumbersome for me in general, particularly in groups. I'm not really a big drinker, so just decided to have a beer, but after a few minutes they started pressuring me to try this liquor local to Argentina and eventually I obliged. I didn't like the taste too much and put the glass down after having a couple sips, they then pressured me to finish it. I smoked a little weed and left with the group to go to the rave feeling a bit uncomfortable. When we arrived, the guy who invited me offered me some ecstasy, but then said his girlfriend didn't want to share any. The whole situation was just starting to weird me out.

A half hour or so later he gave me a half a pill and I tried to enjoy myself a bit. Instead, I found myself getting annoyed with people bumping into me, the smell of cigarette smoke and just felt off in general not having much personal space. I started thinking about what the point was to all of this. The pill kicked in a little bit and I sort of relaxed, but I just felt kinda burnt out and wanted to leave. I don't really like being in big crowds anymore either I guess. When I was in college I liked it, now at 29 it just doesn't get me going too much anymore. I started feeling shitty about myself for not enjoying this stuff as much as I used to, ended up just leaving and had a shitty comedown where I couldn't sleep. I think my body is just sick of drugs as well.

Anyway just wanted to share.
 
The important thing is that you didn't get beyond uncomfortable.
Take it as a turning point, or a lesson if you want.
There's nothing to feel bad about. People change all the time. Some more than others, some in a socially predefined direction, some in a different one. But there's nothing bad with that.
Try to find what feel good for you now.
 
Thanks for sharing.

I actually have recently started going back to raves. But unless I'm pretty sure that there's going to be someplace quiet I can sit for a few minutes every few hours, and unless I'm also sure I'm going to have at least one bud that I can have chill conversation with, I don't bother to go. I feel your pain.
 
I avoid what they call raves these days, as the crowd tends to be way young. A good techno party though is *chef’s kiss* a wonderful way to spend a night dancing.

It’s definitely worth finding parties which cater to your musical taste. I’m a fan of deeper techno and don’t have much patience for build and drop EDM DJs, which informs the parties I attend.
 
I just like the music... You know... I've been looking for this song called ecstasy on Youtube, but I just can't find it. Augh... I should wright these things down when I find them.
 
I'm serious about that one. My friend got a job cleaning up after a rave and he came home with about two pounds of assorted pills, bags of stuff and hits of acid.
 
I've never been to a rave.
And I don't feel like I missed out on something.
it’s kids shit. I definitely had some super fun times as a kid going to them.

As I got older I became just like OP. Started to thing they were stupid and childish and didn’t like the big crowds

Also the DJs all play garbage when they play for live crowds but then you listin to their podcasts or pre recorded at home sets and they place excellent. Basicslly my favorite artists would dissapoint me live when I could’ve just listened to their album at home sober snd “felt” the music more than at the rave where they play harsh club music remixes of their own music
 
it’s kids shit. I definitely had some super fun times as a kid going to them.
I never was to one because I never felt like it.
Partly for the reasons the OP doesn't like them anymore,and partly because I was into other kind of hanging out (like with the street punks)
 
Yeah what others have said.

mate be happy for the experience. You need these experiences to learn and understand what you do and do not like now.
Don't be angry be grateful.

We all change and grow out of shit. It's called life.

You now need to find what you like and do that Sometimes that can be a challenge in itself.
 
Yeah what others have said.

mate be happy for the experience. You need these experiences to learn and understand what you do and do not like now.
Don't be angry be grateful.

We all change and grow out of shit. It's called life.

You now need to find what you like and do that Sometimes that can be a challenge in itself.
I wouldn't say I'm angry exactly, it's more that I'm in a weird transitional phase where everything that was enjoyable in my adolescence/mid 20s is just not anymore. I used to produce electronic music a lot as well, and hardly touch my program anymore. Skateboarding is no longer exciting either. Even traveling is starting to get old.

Although this probably just sounds like depression, it's a different feeling. It's like I want to reinvent myself entirely and change up my priorities but have no idea how to do so. I don't have any idea what I'd do for a proper profession, and have minimal history as a result of many psychotic episodes. Now it's like I'm trying to step into life, but at the same time don't want to engage in life at all. It's hard to explain.
 
I wouldn't say I'm angry exactly, it's more that I'm in a weird transitional phase where everything that was enjoyable in my adolescence/mid 20s is just not anymore. I used to produce electronic music a lot as well, and hardly touch my program anymore. Skateboarding is no longer exciting either. Even traveling is starting to get old.
Although this probably just sounds like depression, it's a different feeling. It's like I want to reinvent myself entirely and change up my priorities but have no idea how to do so. I don't have any idea what I'd do for a proper profession, and have minimal history as a result of many psychotic episodes. Now it's like I'm trying to step into life, but at the same time don't want to engage in life at all. It's hard to explain.

nah I totally get it.

Not hard to explain.
Hard to navigate and come up with answers.
 
I want to reinvent myself entirely and change up my priorities but have no idea how to do so.
this sounds like a good thing, not like depression.
in a way i'm in similar situation, though i have already done it a few times.
that;s why i know that it takes time.
you can't just wake morning and say "i want to be this person". it takes some time.
and even if you'r good at reprogramming yourself (for which you need a pretty clear idea of what you want to change/become) it won't happen overnight. not if the changes are more than just one single aspect of your life/personality.

long story short: keep your priorities in mind, focus on them one by one, and be patient.
at least that's how i do it.
provided i have the state of mind for that.
 
I wouldn't say I'm angry exactly, it's more that I'm in a weird transitional phase where everything that was enjoyable in my adolescence/mid 20s is just not anymore. I used to produce electronic music a lot as well, and hardly touch my program anymore. Skateboarding is no longer exciting either. Even traveling is starting to get old.

Although this probably just sounds like depression, it's a different feeling. It's like I want to reinvent myself entirely and change up my priorities but have no idea how to do so. I don't have any idea what I'd do for a proper profession, and have minimal history as a result of many psychotic episodes. Now it's like I'm trying to step into life, but at the same time don't want to engage in life at all. It's hard to explain.


I have a good career but I separate that from everything else because that isn’t what I do for fun. Nobodys work is fun or their passion don’t let them bullshit you.

But I’m going through a similar phase at 40. Had a sport that was my life’s passion and I just stopped doing it after25 year to no apparent reason other than it feels like a chore to me now.

I’ve been getting into a different sport but I am probably too old for it.

I never thought I would lose the passion of my first sport feels like my reason for living is gone
 
I'm old but not old enough to have experienced the 90s rave scene. That's my kind of good time. Underground, spontaneous, unique, absolutely wild.
 
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