dont know what to do

[jayjaysleepyhead]

So im jay by reading this you may well think what is he winging about anyway al give it a go im clean off all illegal drugs im tapering off methadone from 45mls doing 5 ml every 2 weeks i hate the stuff but it works, ive also tapered from 20 mg of diazepam to 4 mg in a 7 month period coming down 2 mg every month so 20 to 18 in a month then 18 to 16 for a month so on and on im at 4 now its been pretty painless so far and i reccomend this way to taper if your coming off a benzo longterm. Ok but its my lifestyle that i cant seem to sort out i used to be a prolific shoplifter to feed my habit but i stopped after i done anothet 2 weeks custodial back in january enough was enough but its took a massive chunk out of my day to day living im lost totally , i was so caught up in making money this way that i am left with a baf attitude . For example i wont work unless the money is really good like 400 a week or over its sad so i dont look for work i live in a ymca with a free gym and restaurant , you see i got it eady laundry is free i only get 116 pounds every 2 weeks i pay rent buy some benzos for a 2 day buzz some food and thats it , im far from happy as i want a wife kids house car all that stuff that is supposed to make you happy. Im lost and loely got no energy or motivation and i cant seem to get out of this liestyle im also very anti social i used to be the opposite maybe i have a mental illness as i should be relatively happy any comments welcome thanks i know its boring

 

[Sublimo]

First of all, it is not boring nor are you whining. I had my difficulties with benzodiazepines as well. They suck the life out of you and leave you empty for a very long time. But that does get better eventually. Do you have any professional help with this?

 

[jayjaysleepyhead]

Yes i should really but i still dabble a little with benzos once a week its only when i get my script a weeks worth of 4 mg a day which is 28 mg a week nothing really so i take the full 28 in a day which is still nothing as my tolerance is still sky high i reckon i could still take 100 mg of valium and not be too affected im hoping like you say it will get better if not i will have to seek help.

 

[Sublimo]

Wow, if you can take that much valium without being affected too much you should definitely seek help. Don't stop on your own with these things.

 

[jayjaysleepyhead]

Yes buy i dont take that amount anymore maybe once a month i get 20 klonopin off a friend they knock me out but valium was back in the 90s

 

[closeau]

Dude, go see a shrink and be honest. If you wanna change your lifestyle that's a good start. Need to find out if there's any mental illness to deal with before yu can move on. Chill with the benzos. Those things knock you out but you might not wake up. Sounds like you've tapered down. That's good. Continue to taper and lifestyle change odd hardest thing you can do. Starts with a shrink and honesty and after that shit will just happen. Don't worry too much about it. You're doing good. Keep it up.