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don't know what to do with myself

U

uacvax

Bluelighter
Joined
Nov 14, 2005
Messages
994
Location
cali
i've lost interest in everything that formerly used to give me great joy, reading, playing games, socializing... for a few years now i've found myself sitting in my room with little motivation to get a job or even to go out and talk to people. i do desire the company of people but once I am in a social environment nothing really seems to hold my attention...this isn't a symptom of past adderall usage is it?

comments, suggestions, advice? people keep telling me to go out and do stuff but it just always ends up getting old, even though while i'm at home i get incredibly bored and resort to doing mindless tasks like playing computer games, i've tried ssris and the fatigue i get from them is pretty debilitating. i've got a bachelor's from a good university but can't seem to get anywhere with it
 
Its probably depression and unless you've literally just stopped taking aderall its probably unrelated. As much as it seems it won't help, having a good circle of close firends is really helpful, well it was for me. At first you feel worst because you just want to be alone but before long you'll start to feel good in their company, especially when you know you can trust and confide in them without needing to keep everything in your own head. Give it time, as hard as it seems to think that you'll feel good again, you will, and you'll be able to look back on this period of your life and know that you beat it, and that if you can get through that you can do anything no matter how hard.
 
If you're smoking weed, I'd suggest stopping. I felt a lot like you when I smoked. As with other psychedelics, it exaggerates your mood, including depression. Although it's much milder than acid (for instance), it has an extra layer of darkness to it that's not usually noticeable until you're already depressed from it.
Depression is treatable if it's not too severe. Health is important for happiness, so try to sleep, eat, exercise, and socialize well. You could also get some 5-htp, which can be bought off shelves if I'm not mistaken. I'm not sure if it motivates you, but it helped me recover from depression after I was drilled into it by the combination of weed and unhappiness with the world.
 
well you need to give us some background regarding your drug use etc etc..if you were taking adderall, what dosages and for how long?/amphetamines are notorious for causing anhedonia and that 'blah' feeling when you stop taking them...

im weird in that social aspect too..i have desire to be social but when i place myself in social circles, i either get bored or im just disinterested altogether..i really dont understand it...once in awhile it will feel ok to socialize but thats rare..

they say with addicts that boredom means depression..i think its true for the most part but i also think that when you do drugs for a long time, it destroys your ability to enjoy the small things in life like taking walks, socializing, playing games..i know because its happened to me..
 
You should go out and buy some model trains and little tracks and put them all up around your basement. Then build little model houses out of thin pieces of wood and paint them and glue them nearby the tracks. Then maybe try to get an in-ground swimming pool and invite little boys over and show them what a good time really means.

Boredom=depression no matter who you are.
 
I've ceased using all drugs with the exception of alcohol which i drink every week and the occasional pot smoking (maybe every two weeks) i'm 23, been to multiple doctors/psychiatrists who don't seems to know what's going on either except that maybe it's psychosomatic (depression) or ADD-related. I took adderall for about 3 years, ending with a high dose (200mg) and since then I have taken a 50mg dose about every 3-4months or so, but haven't taken any in about a half year.

My reading speed has been diminished to an extremely sluggish pace, both because it's hard to keep my mind stimulated with the book and also because the speed I read at itsef is much slower now, it takes a while to grasp the ideas, so i'm not sure if that too could be a result of depression.
 
thats depression.

i have ADD which i noticed first, then depression and anxiety which developed later. ive read many books about these combination and these disorders often come together.

also, if you took adderall for 3 yrs with that high of a dose, that often leads to depression and lessened mental capabilites. so that may very well be what happened. i would stop aderall altogether.

maybe go to a psychiatrist and start yourself on an SSRI antidepressant. they worked wonders for me. except for killing my libido, which i could not tolerate, so i dropped them
 
I feel so similar to you and I used meth for many years so maybe it's related.
I feel like seeing friends or going out has become such a chore. Nothing seems to excite me or interest me. Meth (and amphetamines I guess too) sets the trigger higher for stimulation though, so your brain has learnt to require a huge stimulus (ie. a hit of meth) to release dopamine. I think it a matter of retraining your brain to appreciate more subtle pleasures. And I think it's probably a combination of giving your brain time to recover, but also getting out there and doing things even if you don't feel like it. That's what I'm trying to do anyway, just trying to force myself to do things. One trick I learnt is 'pleasure predicting' - before you do an activity you rate it on a scale of ten as to how enjoyable you think it'll be. Then after you've done it you rate it again but on how enjoyable it actually was. The idea being you realise the activities are somewhat pleasurable and that you're getting more out of them that you think.
 
"boredom=depression no matter who you are"

thats about as untrue as you can get..many neurologists have said many people have a different threshold for boredom as others...some people require higher stimulus for pleasure/excitement compared to others...hence why you get base jumpers, drug addicts, mma fighters, evil knievels etc etc...just because one is bored doesnt make them depressed...
 
Well depression is a form of chemical imbalance. I don't see how you've proved anything contrary to what I'm saying.
If the OP has a higher threshold for excitement then he needs to do something other than the counter-productive-to-happiness/self-destructive rout of being a drug addict. And there are millions of things do to, you just gotta go out and do em!
 
Last edited:
uacvax said:
for a few years now i've found myself sitting in my room with little motivation to get a job or even to go out and talk to people
...
i get incredibly bored and resort to doing mindless tasks like playing computer games
...
i've got a bachelor's from a good university but can't seem to get anywhere with it
Click to expand...

I was a lot like you at your age. Then I got a job testing/making video games. It was all I needed for several years to cure this problem you have.

You live in Cali, you have a degree and an interest in video games. You can get this job pretty easy...and it makes the world much easier to deal with...
 
uacvax said:
i've lost interest in everything that formerly used to give me great joy, reading, playing games, socializing... for a few years now i've found myself sitting in my room with little motivation to get a job or even to go out and talk to people. i do desire the company of people but once I am in a social environment nothing really seems to hold my attention...this isn't a symptom of past adderall usage is it?

comments, suggestions, advice? people keep telling me to go out and do stuff but it just always ends up getting old, even though while i'm at home i get incredibly bored and resort to doing mindless tasks like playing computer games, i've tried ssris and the fatigue i get from them is pretty debilitating. i've got a bachelor's from a good university but can't seem to get anywhere with it
Click to expand...


You're depressed.
Stop any drugs you're doing (without script).
Get Cognitive Behavioural Therapy.
Try other antidepressants; atypical, tri-/tetracyclics, MAOIs, stims like DARIs or NDRIs, SNRIs or fresh stuff like Emsam patch (selegiline) or AMPA or glutamate-mediating. Your doctor will have an idea about which makes sense for you, and in which order to try them.

If you see your doctor you'll get more than a blank stare and a "give up, sry". There are still things to be done.

Summing up the field (I have experience).

1. Therapy (CBT and other forms)
2. Stay active. And try to live in the moment, and I don't mean take up crystal, I mean enjoy the little things, it's cliché but it works. Exercise, and take part in other activities even if they aren't very appealing to you BEFORE you try them. Take steps to get balance in activity vs rest, wake vs sleep, eating, self-rewarding and so on.
3. Give psychopharma a serious chance (it's not uncommon at all to try three different meds or more, or combinational therapies).
4. Persevere without making things worse actively (like certain forms of abusive/destructive behaviour), the body/brain has ways to recalibrate itself, and any intervention will need time to work. Don't intervene with the intervention!

I could write a book or two, many books have been written. AND THERE'S A REASON FOR THAT! There are ways to get out of it. It sounds hard, and it is, but you'll never regret it.
 
work out and join muay thai
get a girlfriend
eat right
do something that gets your adrenaline pumping, that gets you on the edge, something that really gets that extreme going
go to parties
fuck people
 
obviously your problem is motivation. call your most trusted friend and make them take you places, and remind them not to give up on you no matter how disinterested you seem.

would you go to a party if you had a gun to your head?
 
uacvax said:
i've lost interest in everything that formerly used to give me great joy, reading, playing games, socializing... for a few years now i've found myself sitting in my room with little motivation to get a job or even to go out and talk to people. i do desire the company of people but once I am in a social environment nothing really seems to hold my attention...this isn't a symptom of past adderall usage is it?

comments, suggestions, advice? people keep telling me to go out and do stuff but it just always ends up getting old, even though while i'm at home i get incredibly bored and resort to doing mindless tasks like playing computer games, i've tried ssris and the fatigue i get from them is pretty debilitating. i've got a bachelor's from a good university but can't seem to get anywhere with it
Click to expand...

As others have suggested, it sounds like you could really benefit from a number of things such as Cognitive Behavioural Therapy with a psych/therapist, change your diet to include more fruit and vegies and fresh food, getting outside in the sunshine more often, finding some new hobbies that interest you (I know this can be hard in the current state of mind that you're in but it can be done).

Would you be overt to trialling some anti-depressant medication again? From personal experience, it can take a few different medications to find the one that works for you. Just because some SSRIs didn't have a good response for you, doesn't mean there isn't some other type of med that could help you. Sure, some people just don't respond to any anti-depressants but it may be worth another try.

The other main suggestion that I have is something that works so well for me: exercise. Getting the heart pumping and the blood flowing through your body releases endorphins in your brain, resulting in a natural high, producing elevated moods and increased motivation. Is this something you could consider trying?
 
i've taken up exercise, running, swimming, weight lifting and i do feel slightly better
but the anti depressant effects of cardio only last about 20 minutes!

i've just been in this apathetic depression haze, unable to take interest in anything, gahhhh

thanks for the help though guys it means a lot to me.
 
That's excellent to hear you've been doing some exercise!! Have you noticed a gradual improvement in your mood since starting the exercise routine? Do you think it will continue to get better? Have you taken up any other hobbies since your last posts in this thread?
 
i'm not sure if I see any gradual improvement as the effects are pretty shorty lived. But I read some article talking about how elite athletes are always filled with very positive thoughts, so maybe if I push myself more and more I will see that longer lasting benefit.

Hobbies... can't say I've really found any hobbies, it's still an uphill battle as far as taking an interest in things but hopefully I can scrape up some cash and take up muay thai kickboxing or something....

but actually my sister does drag me along to take yoga with her , and i go mountain biking every so often
 
Give the exercise a couple of weeks to really kick-in. For me, I have to kind of force myself to get to the gym for a couple of weeks - but THEN, it feels so good I hate to skip a single day. The mood-lift, energy level, etc, lasts for longer and longer the more I work out. After I've been working out for a couple months, even if I have to skip a day (as much as I hate to), the benefits last me through that day.

Depression/anxiety are a bitch but exercise - at least for me - is the best medicine. Give it time!

Somebody on this site recommended this website for FREE online CBT stuff: http://www.livinglifetothefull.com - I checked it out yesterday and it has some real good stuff. Sign up and take the Hospital Anxiety and Depression test (takes 2 minutes) - see how you score, then it will recommend sections of the site that can help you.

Best of luck to you. Sometimes being happy and well takes some effort on our part (when we don't feel like we have the energy to put effort in.) I feel for you, I've been there (kind of am now) - but I know what works for me.
 
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