Dont have any desires

[presented]

Hi, My age is 24 and I'm new to this forum. I hope you'll understand me cause English isn't my mother tongue.

Then lets start.
Part 1

I feel I got to a dead end in my life. I always remember myself as a person that he is indifferent to his own life, without aspirations or special desires.
I thought that enlistment to a combat unit will give me a high-five and motivate me, but other then make me bitter it did not help anything.
Since I left the army, I made a trip at cross Israel for a month, and since then I sit idle and not working or studying. since then I do not want do anything, I do not find interest in some particular field of study and have a tendency to leave things in the middle (eg psychometric (exam) start and I decided to stop) worst I do not drive myself out of this situation. I have my interests somehow they can add me some value to my life.
Piano, cycling, photography and computers. But otherwise nothing. Even with women I don't have any experience.
The question is how a person can get out from this situation, if he hardly interested in anything and he did not want to make X - Y - Z
Could very well be, I need some push from an external source in the form of a psychologist or a personal trainer.
I certainly do not want to throw all my past on present and future because I know I can change things and my life depends only 99% of me, And all a matter of motivation and willpower.
A little depressing to think of it that people really want and want to do something, and I'm not interested in anything or nothing and only aspires to live by forcing.
I've heard this sentence "Appetite comes with eating" - perhaps it may be the case.
Indeed, sometimes I force myself trying to do something I do not really want or like but just to try to wake up ...
Whatever, I can't live like that forever

P.S
I Have tourette syndrome that onset at 19.5 Years old. psychotherapy and Medicines didn't work... cannabis also.
Now I believe, that the only thing can help me is hallucination drugs.
What are you think?

 

[Vaya]

presented, thank you for sharing your story with us.

"Appetite comes with eating," indeed! By continuing to engage in those activities that you list as being very special to you (piano, cycling, photography and computers), you come to understand what your inner passions are - and in discovering our passions, we begin to understand what motivates us. We can thus form a better relationship with ourselves and develop our own purpose.

I am 26, and this "dead end" of which you speak has been an unwelcome familiarity in my life over the past several years. When i get bent up about it, though, i do my very best to remind myself that wherever I end up, whenever i end up there, that I need fear nothing in the interim. For what it is, was meant to be.

I am going to move this thread to The Dark Side forum, a very loving and close-knit community that discusses issues like these, okay?
You might just soon discover that you are not alone. Nor ever will be.

Homeless >>> TDS

Take care, presented!

~ Vaya

 

[presented]

someone?

 

[Swimmingdancer]

Hi presented

I think you already have some good ideas yourself:

Could very well be, I need some push from an external source in the form of a psychologist or a personal trainer.

I've heard this sentence "Appetite comes with eating" - perhaps it may be the case.
Indeed, sometimes I force myself trying to do something I do not really want or like but just to try to wake up ...

Those are both good ideas. Sometimes I will have no motivation or desire to do something but once I get out there are do it I realize I like it. It doesn't always happen of course, but I think it's important to push ourselves to do things. Getting some motivation from an external source can also be very helpful.

I Have tourette syndrome that onset at 19.5 Years old. psychotherapy and Medicines didn't work... cannabis also.
Now I believe, that the only thing can help me is hallucination drugs.
What are you think?

That's a tough question. Have you tried Cognitive Behavioural Therapy? Relaxation techniques? Mindfulness techniques? Treating any co-existing disorders?

If you do decide to try the route of psychedelic drugs (hallucinogens) I would recommend you do it in a therapeutic context under the direct guidance of someone experienced in using psychedelics therapeutically.