Don't do what I do when stressed/unhappy... Advice? Thanks everyone <3

[fivelinefury]

Admin's delete if needed, sorry.
Since going through a breakup with my girlfriend a few months ago, I am falling back into my old ways from 18 months - 2 years ago. I dont wamt tp trigger anyone, please. But in the past 5 hours I've <had a large amount of benzodiazepines, opiates, and alcohol>

Maybe I'm just a bit paranoid because I have been in hospital for this similar crap twice 2 years ago or somethign.

I guess I just need to talk when my ex-girlfriend, who by the way is still my best friend in the whole world, and she says the same about me, but we ain't together. Is just hard, and I dont' want to bore with relationship stuff in the wrong place on the forums, but I don't lnow/ maybe just need someone to talk to.

I haven't been on here for a while now. Thank you my Bluelighters 33

 

[fivelinefury]

Wow haha :/ I think what I was getting too at the time was needing someone to talk too, plus I was a bit worried about the amount of stuff I had taken, but doesn't look like I acheived either of those in the above post haha :/

 

[Derschieber]

Break-ups are miserable. It's just hard. Like you said.
You know this best friend thing after breaking up does not help, especially if she left you...cutting all contact...no messages, not calling, nothing. No contact. Until you are no longer emotionally attached. This may take many months. Then be friends...if you still want to. On-going interaction prevents you from getting over the heart-ache. It really does. (I'm assuming you are broken-hearted)
Drugs at this stage are fucked...well...at all stages really...
The worst pain for me is broken-heartedness...such a nasty time to get through. The pain always passes. Much quicker with no contact.
I'm not sure what else I could say...nothing helps me, when I'm in the midst of it...
I'm guessing those pills are going to prolong recovery from breaking up...as will alcohol...I just know all that crap will make you feel more ratchet overall...more ratchet more longer...but you probably already know that anyhow...
Best wishes...

 

[neversickanymore]

Hey fivelinefury. Man a broken heart is the worst

As far as the depression and stress, make exercise a part of your life at least thirty minutes of some aerobic exercise five days a week and you will feel greatly better.

This next part is only my opinion but I do feel strongly about it. Of all the friends or people I have witnessed who stayed close to a partner they loved after breaking up I have not seen many "get over" the other and if they where able to get over the other then they rarely stayed in close contact. If I were you I would stop seeing her and severely limit my contact with her. I know I just advised you to drop your best friend. As I have already stated I believe it is really hard to get over someone while they are such a close part of your life. Also I you do have a desire to get back with her then I would definitely do this... often times after people are with each other for a while the romance (sex and passion) fads and strong couples have developed a very strong friendship and life partnership to take its place. Well by remaining close friends with her she continues to receive many of those benefits and is able to pursue the romance and sex else where. This may lead to her developing a relationship with a piggish alpha male; she can do this because all she needs from him is the sex as you are there to provide all the other things. This, I believe is why so many women who dump good men and stay really close to them end up dating pigs. Please consider at least trying this, for yourself take a six month or longer break from her, Its not forever just think about telling her that since you are no longer going out you think you need to really develop some space so that you can heal so when you find another woman you fall for you are ready.. Its a bit of manipulation but telling her you want to be ready for another female may cause some beneficial thought in her depending on your desires.

Hiding from your feelings, THOUGH I KNOW IT HURTS LIKE NOTHING ELSE, with the use of drugs or alcohol is ABSOLUTELY the worst idea... I tried this when i lost my first love and have watched SOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO many others do the same thing.. I broke up with my first love when I went off to college and she remained for her last year of high school. It hurt SOOOOOOOOOOOO bad I decided I would just get drunk until it passed, so I drank heavily and waited for the pain to pass. WHat really happens is the drugs prevent the healing process from happening so as long as I continued to shroud my heart in drugs to try and get some relief I was preventing the healing process. This happens to everyone that try this. If you use drugs to get over a broken heart you will be doomed to relive that hell every day until you decide to let time work its magic sober. thats why if you are a bartender or have a very heavy grass smoking friend you will here the drunks at the bar or your friend seeming to be stuck on those same old hang ups. I used to be a bartender and I would here the same people struggling with the same life consequences they were drinking over night after night, year after year, etc after etc.

The best way to get an X back or get back at an X is to live the most amazing life you can and pretend (like even lie to yourself) that you wouldn't give your right testical to have her back.. the funny thing is is that when you pretend to live that life you actually live that life. liven it up doesn't mean blasting yourself to the sun on drugs and alcohol. It means living the good life and what that means to you, If you. Living an amazing life is the best thing for you, the best thing to get someone back, and the best thing to get you to realize that you don't need them back; so no matter what you win and you get to start to live an amazing life. really live the best life you can just kinda works for everything the heart never fully heals but scar tissue is stronger than regular tissue.

HANG IN THERE.. its so tough but what doesn't kill you makes you stronger and this to shall pass unless you decide to drug it and relive it over and over and over and over.. GOODSPEED AND STRENGTH

 

[Derschieber]

neversickanymore...that's a really kind post ^^
I see this from you often...really impressed and inspired by your kindness and ability to reach out like you do...

 

[neversickanymore]

Thanks Derschieber.. That means worlds to me and makes me feel a whole lot better than alright

Here is a little tune on lossing a love might lend some comfort to all the broken hearted http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7kQC-9Tq-88

 

[mrflowers00]

break ups aren't awful just go out to a park or bar tonight and ask some chicks if they want to fuck but show some interest in them first you'll forget all about you last girl

 

[ad lib]

Breakups are never easy. I was with someone for 4 years and that break up was so hard on me, despite how volatile our relationship was. In time, it will get better. What I found worked for me is cutting off all contact with him. He still tries to talk to me, but I have zero interest in him and he doesn't stand a chance because of a new amazing person I have in my life...but whatever, off topic, that's besides the point.

Everything happens for a reason. There's a reason that the relationship between you two did not work out. You may not know it yet, but someday you will. You'll find someone who is worthy of your time and who won't hurt you. It takes a while to find the right person, it may take years and you may meet in the most unlikely way. But once you do, you'll be happy your previous relationships did not work out with anyone else.

 

[fivelinefury]

Hi again all who have replied. Thank you very much for your support. And you are all correct. I admit that I am still using/drinking right as I speak, and as by a couple of you, the drug use and drinking does make it longer to 'get over' anything really, whether it's a relationship, or a close death (which I've dealt with a few of them over the years too). But anyway, I am feeling a lot better now and we have been both keeping our distance from each other and to be honest, I got a message from her yesterday or the day before on Facebook, and said hi back for the first time in the last week. What ever is meant to be, is meant to be in life I guess. But thank you again for sharing your experiences and as Derschieber' said, theanks fior the kind words from 'neversickanymore', and taking the time to type that! Cheers to all and stay safe!