Don't care anymore.

Back on it. Don't care. Useless as fuck anyway. Can't do it, never will, nobody gives a fuck anyway.

Especially me.
 
You know that's not true claire. Tons of people care, and I think that you do too. It's just so hard to quit when you've been taking it for so long.

I'm not even going to dignify the 'useless' comment with a response. You're far, far better than that.

You're not doing well now, but you'll be okay. I'm very proud of how long you were able to stay clean, and I know that many others are as well. When you're ready to try again, you'll be better prepared to deal with it. May I also suggest tapering off rather than cold-turkey? It just makes the transition a lot smoother.

Take care of yourself, and don't beat yourself up so much about this. You're still a great person, and you will beat this someday. I'll offer what little support that I can, and you know that you have half of TDS behind you as well.

Feel free to PM me if you need to vent, or to chat, or whatever. I'm also on AIM/ICQ/MSN-- info is in my profile.
 
you said this poem helps you
you should read it again
i hope the best for you


I destroy homes – I tear families apart.

I take your children and that's just a start.

I'm more valued than diamonds, more precious than gold.

The sorrow I bring is a sight to behold.

If you need me, remember, I'm easily found.

I live all around you, in school and in town.

I live with the rich, I live with the poor.

I live just down the street and maybe next door.

I'm made in a lab, but not one like you think.

I can be made under the kitchen sink,

In your child's closet, and even out in the woods.

If this scares you to death, then it certainly should.

I have many names. But there's one you'll know best.

I'm sure you've heard of me, my name is Crystal Meth.

My power is awesome, try me, you'll see.

But if you do, you may never break free.

Just try me once and I might let you go.

But if you try me twice, then I'll own your soul.

When I possess you, you'll steal and you'll lie.

You'll do what you have to do, just to get high.

The crimes you commit for my narcotic charms,

Will be worth the pleasures you feel in my arms.

You'll lie to your mother; you'll steal from your dad.

When you see their tears, you must not feel sad.

Just forget your morals and how you were raised.

I'll be your conscience, I'll teach you my ways.

I take kids from their parents; I take parents from their kids.

I turn people from God, I separate friends.

I'll take everything from you, your looks and your pride.

I'll be with you always, right by your side.

You'll give up everything, your family, your home.

Your money, your true friend, then you'll be alone.

I'll take and take till you have no more to give.

When I finish with you, you'll be lucky to live.

If you try me, be warned, this is not a game.

If I'm given the chance, I'll drive you insane.

I'll ravage your body; I'll control your mind.

I'll own you completely; your soul will be mine.

The nightmares I'll give you when you're lying in bed,

And the voices you'll hear from inside your head.

The sweats, the shakes, and the visions from me.

I want you to know these things are gifts from me.

But then it's too late, and you'll know in your heart

That you are now mine and we shall not part.

You'll regret that you tried me (they always do).

But you came to me, not I to you.

You knew this would happen.

Many times you've been told.

But you challenged my power,

You chose to be bold.

You could have said no and then walked away.

If you could live that day over now, what would you say?

My power is awesome, as I told you before.

I can take your life and make it so dim and sore.

I'll be your master and you'll be my slave.

I'll even go with you when you go to your grave.

Now that you've met me, what will you do?

Will you try me or not? It's all up to you.

I can show you more misery than words can tell.

Come take my hand, let me lead you to HELL.
 
I love you regardless of drug use. It will not defeat you. You have friends here who will not abandon you.

<3
 
Thanks guys. Just seems so hopeless. I last awhile occasionally, but all my thoughts are consumed by it. Just thinking about when my next hit will be. It's never-ending.
 
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