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Don't care anymore

Hey all. I'm sorry to reanimate an old thread but I wanted to update you guys. I feel like I've gotten a lot of support here, it's so nice! Now, I did try IVing, but I wasn't really impressed by it, it didn't seem stronger than snorting it. My friend did explain how to do it, so I guess I could if I wanted to, but I don't really care that much about it. I've been escaping into drugs and I can't say I really want to stop right now. Maybe someday, if I live through all the crap I'm putting into my body, I'll get clean and sober. But I just can't right now. I hope you all understand.
 
xtcgrrrl said:
Hey all. I'm sorry to reanimate an old thread but I wanted to update you guys. I feel like I've gotten a lot of support here, it's so nice! Now, I did try IVing, but I wasn't really impressed by it, it didn't seem stronger than snorting it. My friend did explain how to do it, so I guess I could if I wanted to, but I don't really care that much about it. I've been escaping into drugs and I can't say I really want to stop right now. Maybe someday, if I live through all the crap I'm putting into my body, I'll get clean and sober. But I just can't right now. I hope you all understand.
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I hope that you keep coming back to get support, because it's obvious to me that everyone here really cares about you. I'm glad you weren't impressed by IV - if that's the case, it's definitely best to stay away from it. I can't offer much in the way of advice, but I can send you good vibes and the hope that you'll pull through this. Because if you want to, you will. There are multiple famous folks who have allegedly said this, but in the words of (apparently) Fernando Sabino:
"No fim, tudo dá certo. Se não deu, ainda não chegou ao fim." Translation: "In the end, everything will be ok. If it's not ok, it's not yet the end."

​

​Hope you are okay, please keep everyone updated on how you are doing so we know you're safe. Much love x
 
xtcgrrrl said:
Hey all. I'm sorry to reanimate an old thread but I wanted to update you guys. I feel like I've gotten a lot of support here, it's so nice! Now, I did try IVing, but I wasn't really impressed by it, it didn't seem stronger than snorting it. My friend did explain how to do it, so I guess I could if I wanted to, but I don't really care that much about it. I've been escaping into drugs and I can't say I really want to stop right now. Maybe someday, if I live through all the crap I'm putting into my body, I'll get clean and sober. But I just can't right now. I hope you all understand.
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Dont be sorry for bumping a thread, thats why its here. Like Riviera said, do come back and tell us how its going. You say IV didnt impress you, thats for the best. I tried it a few times also but somehow never kept with it and I would advise you to do the same if you keep using. Piercing your skin with metal and putting something directly into your bloodstream...thats just not good, especially considering all the stuff drugs are cut with today.
From your writing you come off like you might feel youre a bit stuck and in a rut somehow. And life is pain, theres no denying that really. Yet it is also many other things but often we see only pain, sometimes because we want to so we can feel sorry for ourselves and sometimes because we are too close to the matter and all boxed in in our limited existence. Ever considered leaving for a while or moving. I know you have kids, Im not sure how. But maybe your perspective is a bit too close, need some objectivity,so you dont see see everything so serious and final. Often just pulling back a little, moving around, getting out of this constant cycle helps us reevalute stuff. If I were you, Id go on a buddhism retreat. Or maybe something you have in mind.
 
I'm watching my roommate go thru this exact same thing. He has tried to commit suicide a few times now (before I met him) and the last time he tried it, he tried to OD before going to detox that morning, while he's been living with me and then again the other night. His pain is the same, ended a relationship, she took his son, he moved across country, got into another relationship which ended badly, but she's still bugging him, push/pull kind of thing, financial problems because of drug use, chronic pain, depression, you name it.

He talks (cries) to me often about his problems, tells me he's going to do it all the time. I'm honestly at a loss as to how to deal with him. I tell him all the time I love him, which I do, because he is a really good guy, I tell him when his son gets older, no doubt he's going to come looking for him, that he has worth, he will love someone decent and who will treat him well again, he will beat this drug thing he's got going on, and his life IS worth something, even if he doesn't see it, others around him do.

Your kids need you, I'm sure you're surrounded by loving, caring people but you just may not see it because of the pain you're in. Your ex, he's just a man, plenty more where those came from and honestly, if he's going to leave you because you relapsed, he doesn't sound very supportive to me. There is soooo much good out there, you just need to be able to see it, accept it, try and let go of your pain and love yourself. I truly believe that loving yourself is the first step :)
 
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xtcgrrrl said:
I wasn't really impressed by it, it didn't seem stronger than snorting it.
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not to be that asshole.... but i just dont see how thats even possible... banging is by far the best buzz one can get, smoking second, and snorting a distant third.... but if snorting is what you like then more power to ya cause IVing is very dangerous and alot of health risks you dont have to worry about with smoking or snorting....

Jan108 said:
I'm watching my roommate go thru this exact same thing. He has tried to commit suicide a few times now (before I met him) and the last time he tried it, he tried to OD before going to detox that morning, while he's been living with me and then again the other night. His pain is the same, ended a relationship, she took his son, he moved across country, got into another relationship which ended badly, but she's still bugging him, push/pull kind of thing, financial problems because of drug use, chronic pain, depression, you name it.

He talks (cries) to me often about his problems, tells me he's going to do it all the time. I'm honestly at a loss as to how to deal with him. I tell him all the time I love him, which I do, because he is a really good guy, I tell him when his son gets older, no doubt he's going to come looking for him, that he has worth, he will love someone decent and who will treat him well again, he will beat this drug thing he's got going on, and his life IS worth something, even if he doesn't see it, others around him do.

Your kids need you, I'm sure you're surrounded by loving, caring people but you just may not see it because of the pain you're in. Your ex, he's just a man, plenty more where those came from and honestly, if he's going to leave you because you relapsed, he doesn't sound very supportive to me. There is soooo much good out there, you just need to be able to see it, accept it, try and let go of your pain and love yourself. I truly believe that loving yourself is the first step :)
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your friend should see a professional to talk to about his problems, mabe get on some type of meds.... depression is a hard thing to deal with
 
your friend should see a professional to talk to about his problems, mabe get on some type of meds.... depression is a hard thing to deal with
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Yup. I know. I keep telling him that. He doesn't want to go because in the past all they've done is told him what he's doing wrong (or something along that line) and he doesn't want to hear it. I'm trying to talk him into it, but I can't make him go.

He is on meds, for all kinds of things. The man is just a mess of medical issues :(
 
Jan108 said:
Yup. I know. I keep telling him that. He doesn't want to go because in the past all they've done is told him what he's doing wrong (or something along that line) and he doesn't want to hear it. I'm trying to talk him into it, but I can't make him go.

He is on meds, for all kinds of things. The man is just a mess of medical issues :(
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if hes talking about killing himself or whatever you can call the police and tell him and theyll take him for an evaluation... my mom did that shit to me once, but when i got to the hospital i told em it was all a misunderstanding and that i wasnt going to do anything (which was the truth, i just had a terrible day and couldnt get ne dope and started sayin id rather die then go through WDs... ofcourse the hospital couldnt get me into any facilities or anything and couldnt say i was a harm to myself, so they released me) and your friend could also do the same but idk its just a suggestion
 
I've mentioned that to him, he doesn't want that, but of course, he was upset at the time. Last night he was looking for a prescription list he threw away so maybe he's doing something, I don't know, but I can only help him as much as he'll let me, which right now is not a whole lot so I'm just going to leave him to do his thing, I have a life with problems to deal with too, I can't continually be letting others issues consume me. As much as I love him, he needs to figure some shit out on his own.
 
Hello fellow New Yorker, I am In That same hopelessness as you describe with no way out. The struggles been long enough.

I hope you find the peace you are searching for in life or soon there after
 
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