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XxFlyingKitsXx

Greenlighter
Joined
Jun 23, 2013
Messages
7
Ive been depressed for months now. Ive been abandoned and abused and no one has gave a damn. Im alone and im finally fine with being fucking alone because when the day comes no one will have to "miss" me. I just watched my friend that ive known since i was in 2nd grade take a knife and cut her wrist wide open. I watched her sister that is my bestfriend ride a way in a ambulance because she over dosed. And i had to burry a friend not to long ago because she hung her self. All of this has happened recently. I just want to take all the pills i can and lay down and count how long until i die. And if anyone says im just bitching and looking for attention. Im not im just tired of keeping it all inside. I know i need help but i dont fucking want it.
~ im done.
 
I'm so sorry that you've been feeling this way. When the friends that are closest to you take their lives, it can indeed make you question the purpose of your own life. I think this is normal and I've been through similar circumstances myself...it's difficult. How did you feel when you wrote this post? Sometimes it helps me quite a bit to just get my feelings out like that. No one here will think you're bitching or looking for attention. We know how hard life can be sometimes and will be here for you when you need to talk. <3
 
The thing about suicide is that we can always put it off till tomorrow.. because in truth it is something we have the ability to do anytime.. but another thing we have the ability to do anytime is change the way we percieve our world.. if our thoughts are always focused on the negative then we promote and live in depression.. and depression begits depression.. the thing is is that we ultimately have control over our perception... granted it is really hard to change the way we think in an instant, but over a relatively short period of time we can change the way we interpret things.. and the way we interpret things is the way they are.. i know it sounds nuts but why are you choosing to be so depressed.. after there are many ways to look at the FACT that life is a joke.. we can look at it as meaningless and bleak full of pain.. or we can look at what it is.. a fukn crazy ride where we choose how it is.. ;)<3

and if you are unclear about what i mean by life being a joke.. we are an atom on a speck in the middle of infinity.. and we only last a sliver of nothing.. why take yourself and your life so serious that it makes you miserable?
 
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I feel your struggle. I have felt so much need to give up. I'm my own enemy and I've been consumed by myself very recently, I just feel so hopeless because of the unfair cards that life has dealt me along side the cards that were very fair. This life is whatever we make of it, even if we need to bullshit the happiness all the way until the end it will be worth it because this world is a cryptic and magical place that is so painful to live. I'm not giving up with suicide, but I'm not just going to give up my life either until I naturally die. You and me both know there are things about this world that are wonderful and make life worth living and I won't give up my search for happiness, even if I don't find it. I hope you decide to choose the same. You know where the lifestyle you're taking is headed, but I don't think you know where the opposite is going to take you. It might be a lot more hard work and intense emotions, but don't give up <3 It's tough, I know.

Remember, don't take life so seriously or you'll never get out alive. Remember how to laugh flawlessly, where that one joke is what made that day waking up for. That's what life is about.
 
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