Done_W/_them
Greenlighter
- Joined
- Apr 10, 2016
- Messages
- 2
This morning I finally told my wife about my addiction and she was amazing about it...
I have been addicted to pain meds on and off for almost 10 years. I would score some pills, steal some pills, lie to get some pills, to get high for a month or two. Then I would quit for about a week to a week and a half, believing that I was "done" but deep down knowing that I would go back to them.
Some people talk about the high that you get from taking percs, or oxcy, and don't get me wrong...it's a amazing. But there was something else I liked...the chase of getting my next score...the excitement when I got a hold of them...the feeling of 5-6 percs in my hand about to go down my throat. I loved it all.
This addiction didn't fully "destroy" my life. I was a full functioning addict, I was able to finish my bachelors and masters degree on them. I was able to get a full time job, buy a house, get married, and so much more. But what I didnt realize was what was going on inside of me. The rot that was festering inside me and slowly over time it was growing, it grew so much so that last night I just lost it. I stayed up all night praying to God, asking him to take this devilish disease from me. But that's when I realized that I needed to put in the work...I needed to go to NA meetings. I needed to tell my wife, I needed to be the one that wanted to truly get cleaned.
So this morning at 6AM I told my wife, and she just held me. Told me that she loved me and that she will be there for me. She told me that I will overcome this disease and she will be at my side. Later today we are going to sit down and look at NA meetings for the next week and she's gonna drive me to them, to make sure that I go. I am so lucky to have an amazing wife.
Like I said earlier, I believed I was done in the past, but deep down knowing I would score so more. This time is different, this time I'm gonna take it one day at a time. Focusing on being clean and sober for this moment.
I just wanted to share this with some people.
I have been addicted to pain meds on and off for almost 10 years. I would score some pills, steal some pills, lie to get some pills, to get high for a month or two. Then I would quit for about a week to a week and a half, believing that I was "done" but deep down knowing that I would go back to them.
Some people talk about the high that you get from taking percs, or oxcy, and don't get me wrong...it's a amazing. But there was something else I liked...the chase of getting my next score...the excitement when I got a hold of them...the feeling of 5-6 percs in my hand about to go down my throat. I loved it all.
This addiction didn't fully "destroy" my life. I was a full functioning addict, I was able to finish my bachelors and masters degree on them. I was able to get a full time job, buy a house, get married, and so much more. But what I didnt realize was what was going on inside of me. The rot that was festering inside me and slowly over time it was growing, it grew so much so that last night I just lost it. I stayed up all night praying to God, asking him to take this devilish disease from me. But that's when I realized that I needed to put in the work...I needed to go to NA meetings. I needed to tell my wife, I needed to be the one that wanted to truly get cleaned.
So this morning at 6AM I told my wife, and she just held me. Told me that she loved me and that she will be there for me. She told me that I will overcome this disease and she will be at my side. Later today we are going to sit down and look at NA meetings for the next week and she's gonna drive me to them, to make sure that I go. I am so lucky to have an amazing wife.
Like I said earlier, I believed I was done in the past, but deep down knowing I would score so more. This time is different, this time I'm gonna take it one day at a time. Focusing on being clean and sober for this moment.
I just wanted to share this with some people.
