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Does the desire ever go away?

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ProfessorBananas

Bluelighter
Joined
Jun 15, 2012
Messages
70
I've been clean for 22 days now. Specifically off opiates and the needle. Admittedly it hasn't been very long but all I want to do is get high. It literally isn't possible for me to do that currently or I would be. My question is does the desire ever go away? Even though the needle ruined my life and almost fucking killed me I still want to go back to that lifestyle. I feel like I hit my bottom and I still would go back. I have problems with depression but when I was shooting up I felt like I had something to look forward to. It was a fucking miserable life and I was so ready to be done with it but part me feels like nothing is ever going to be the same again. I know it's possible to do but I just don't understand how live without the needle again.
 
i've never been physically addicted to opioids, but have abused them extensively on various occasions. if you're anything like me, then probably no. it's controllable though, although it's never gonna be easy. i will never forget the intense euphoria i got from IVing various strong opioids and i don't think a week passes where i don't think about it at least once. i'm sorry i've no good advice to give you, except to remind yourself constantly how dire the consequences of any addiction are.
 
Yes, it does, not completely but pretty damn close. I work around my DOC (morphine which I used IV) all day w/o wanting to use MOST days. But this is after six years without using it, not twenty-two days.

You need to have someone to call went you want to use or you will use again, because recovery is not about who has the greatest will power. RAther, it's about building a network of clean and sober friends whom are working together to stay clean. Do you have that network?
 
It never seems to completely go away. Usually the feeling to get high creeps up on me when I'm bored. My best advice for you would be to just do something else when the cravings come. Exercise, take a walk, learn new hobbies, read, take a class, do whatever it takes. Make yourself have something else to look forward to. You might still have getting high at the back of your mind but you'll have other things to try to keep those cravings at bay.

As Missykins said, having a support group will help a lot as well. Even if you don't have a support group in your life, keep posting in TDS and you'll definitely get support throughout your journey to being sober here. All the best. <3
 
^ Wow. I can't imagine being around anything that I could IV without trying to put it in my arm. No, I don't really have anyone to call about it
 
No sober friends/family with whom you can level? If not, making new friends should be your hobby.

And it really does get easier. I know it sounds rough, but give it 2 months. And then give it a year. Your brain will learn to seek pleasure outside of opiates if you teach it. So it is vital you not sit at home waiting to feel great in the head. It won't happen. I've relapsed at least 6 times that way. It'll take time and effort, but the good news is you will start to feel better as you find new things, and that renewal can be enough to carry you.

Best wishes.
 
I have sober friends and family but none of them have really dealt with drug addictions before. When I mention it I just get the impression they're very uncomfortable talking about it and they're waiting for the conversation to end.
 
My brother is that way. Unfortunately, if they ain't gonna have it you can't go to them to sort out your cravings. Can you think of any ways to meet people in your similar situation, aka in recovery?
 
The only option I can think of would be NA meetings. Ive always had issues with religious/spiritual aspect of the 12 steps but I'm willing to try looking past that. Other than that this forum is my only option
 
i kicked completely for about 4 months once and in my experience the "oh my god i need some opiates" feeling goes away after about a month clean but you are left with "some opiates would be really nice about now" constantly revolving in your mind. My advice is to exercise often and do something that is fun also (tennis, roadbiking whatever you enjoy) for me this helped fill the gap, natural endorphins go a long way to make you feel balanced emotionaly again. I wish you the best of luck keep at it man.
 
I'm agnostic and had problems w/ the spiritual elements embedded in those programs. Yet, I've found ways to utilize them and not become submissive to their doctrines. PM me if you wanna talk about it.
 
The feeling keeps fading and fading. I've got a few months on a sub program with NO SLIPUPS and the desire to get high is way in back of my head. Maybe it will get higher when I get off sub, but I am on a very small maintenance dose, and its more of a way of thinking thats changed (considering a few months ago on a higher dose i STILL wanted to get high).

Try NA if you want. They do talk about spirituality, but sometimes people have a hard time differentiating between spirituality and organized religion. Everyone has their own way of being spiritual, find yours. Or do what I did and just take the shit you like and disregard some of the other stuff they say. You can still attend meetings and not follow every single rule down to the T.

Sounds cliche, but
keep busy, find hobbies/activities to funnel your addictive behaviors into. ANYTHING! I was playing video games for awhile, but now I've started working out, figure i might as well get healthy while i have the chance;

dont think too far ahead and worry about relapsing 5 months from now, your goal is just daily cleanliness; we addicts tend to think A LOT about the future, and less on the present than most. We spend time worrying about shit way far off that wont even be relevant if we cant stop doing drugs;

start being honest, most importantly with yourself, and if you can find someone to be honest to even better;

stay away from drugs even weed, stay CLEAR of them, as in dont be around them. Dont tempt yourself unnecessarily;

TAKE OTHER PEOPLES ADVICE your way of thinking always gets you shooting up and doing skag, admit it and realize you need other peoples input/ideas (important one IMO);

will power runs out IMO so you need to do all of these things

GIVE THESE THINGS A REAL SHOT! Dont try something for a day or two and say "oh it doesn't work" as we addicts are prone to this type of behavior (we LOVE immediate gratification). Give the whole sober/taking advice thing a solid couple months. If you hate it you can always go back to drugs, right?

Also theres always suboxone. Dont listen to any bullshit about it, it has helped me greatly and IF YOU FOLLOW THE DIRECTIONS and instructions of the docs/counselors, and do everything they ask, that also works.

Basically the biggest part of the key is taking outside advice on how to live for awhile and FOLLOWING THROUGH WITH IT.

All sounds cliche but I promise if you do these things man you will make it to 3/6/9/12 months or w/e and the urge will be MUCH SMALLER. It will never TOTALLY go away but if you give this all a real shot? It will fade and fade and disappear for longer and longer periods of time, and not be a constant thing anymore either, but rather much fewer fucked up thoughts. I PROMISE.
 
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DooMMooD;10683301 [B said:
Try NA if you want. They do talk about spirituality, but sometimes people have a hard time differentiating between spirituality and organized religion. Everyone has their own way of being spiritual, find yours. Or do what I did and just take the shit you like and disregard some of the other stuff they say. You can still attend meetings and not follow every single rule down to the T.[/B]
[/B]
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Except one, and that is: Don't use, no matter what.
 
Thank you for the replies everyone. I've been trying to keep myself busy and get a little bit of exercise. I used to play/write music with a friend of mine before I got really involved with drugs and we've been working on that again recently. It's just a little depressing because I don't feel the same sense of excitement I used to get anymore. I've noticed that about pretty much everything.

DooMMooD said:
Also theres always suboxone. Dont listen to any bullshit about it, it has helped me greatly and IF YOU FOLLOW THE DIRECTIONS and instructions of the docs/counselors, and do everything they ask, that also works
Click to expand...
I've heard alot of good things about suboxone from alot of different people. Don't you have to be dirty to get into a program though?
 
ProfessorBananas;10683353 I've heard alot of good things about suboxone from alot of different people. Don't you have to be dirty to get into a program though?[/QUOTE said:
Not always, depends upon the doctor. The concern is that if you're not, then you might be diverting it, which is very legitimate. You've already detoxed and you are three plus weeks clean, so it's highly likely that you would be denied by most docs. It sounds like you're doing pretty well, cravings happen, even with Suboxone. I detoxed off morphine using Suboxone, and then was on it for a spell afterwards.

www.suboxone.com.
Click to expand...
 
That's what I thought. I don't really think that it's necessary at this point anyways. I've just heard that subs make cravings much manageable if not virtually nonexistent.
 
my dad was clean off alcohol for 6 years and still form time to time had slight cravings but it was very very manageable i'd say 3 to 20 years depending on the person
 
yes it does go away, the thought of sticking a needle in my vein and then pushing the stuff i put in it into my bloodstream is a sick disturbing memory now.

i can promise you will find soon enough that most of the addiction can be related to the ritual, the process of getting high. IV drug use is the most involved and that becomes the desire, it is a meditative process in one of the worst kind of ways, that can easily in theory be replaced, and far surpassed with other life and thought accelerating habits and meditative process's.

seems most opioid abusers are adept at meditation techniques, but they, such as i, found the easy replacement in drugs and the life style.
 
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