Does it exist

[mashead testing]

Everything links together
its all around me
my thoughts sync together
my life surrounds me
Sometimes im too scared to think
too afraid into my head I will sink
not going to go down that path again I say
but slipping into old habits is a habit of mine
Every time I always wonder is it real
the noises I keep hearing
the sensations that I feel
still not convinced
The door opens so often but it doesnt
everyone has something else
and all I have is my thoughts
and who knows what the fuck is real
Thinking, still thinking, still thinking
is this considered thinking too much
when you are thinking about thinking too much
what the fuck
Dont touch me, I dont like it
dont come near me I cant buy it
everything relates to something else
and the only thing I end up hating is myself
Vertical, im stuck with horizontal
everything appears to be comical
but its not, nothing is how it seems
and my head has stopped having dreams
Because in no one do I trust
is that from not trusting myself
but what did I ever do wrong
why did I ever let myself fall
But did I fall, or did I exchange minds
resting, ever so slowly I take my time
but so many things appear different
so many things appear which arent even there
Does anyone even care,
do I let myself go this way
without knowing which way this is
all I have to really say is no
But when will it all end
when can I feel good about myself again
why is that that and this this
questions no answers for everything I miss
Always ending up where I try my hardest not to be
time changes from second to second
and so does how I feel
just want to be free
Be free, to live and love
and have enough
without ever questioning everything
and feeling like im failing
Someone show me something, anything
no one seems to care
and if they do I push them away
for fear of hurt and pain
Please, does no one ever listen to me
cant control my own reality
as I know not what reality is
but do I even want to be a part of it
Making choices about things which dont even exist
every second I sit and look around me
not suprised to see everything change so regularly
but I can keep my hands on the things that slip away
Takes too much to lose too little
what do I have to give
everything to lose and no one to forgive
forget me not.

 

[harraser]

So much to quote, so little time.

not going to go down that path again I say
but slipping into old habits is a habit of mine That is one thing that me and you have in common. its a constant struggle not to slip into my old apathy and my other habits that completely distroyed my life for a good year or more. Ive found the struggle is worth it but fuck it can be hard work, and its up to you to decide wether the effort will be worth it for you.

Thinking, still thinking, still thinking
is this considered thinking too much
when you are thinking about thinking too much
what the fuck another thing Im guilty of. my freinds always tell me I think too much, and I can never understand how they get by without thinking......*shrugs*
theres so much more here I could comment on but Im tired and I really have no words of wisdom to offer, all I can say is you can only find peace and happiness by accepting yourself, and noone can tell you how to do that you have to find out your way. great poem mash, it really struck home.

 

[Space_dolphin]

yeah my friends say that too, that i think too much
i tell them i dont get round to thinking as much as id like to
in my opinion there are too many shallow people out there in the world, but most seem to be happy so if it works for them then its no business of mine to interfere with that

 

[E-girl]

Be free, to live and love
and have enough
without ever questioning everything
and feeling like im failing
you are a great person, with a great mind, and every time you write something, you make a million different emotions race through me.
but why do you continue to make me sad? i think you have more strength within yourself than even YOU know.. and a lot of recurring themes i notice in your words, like trust issues and emptiness... they are all things that will be replaced in time with better things... but i believe it all starts with believing in what's important to you... and sometimes looking past all the little things that brought you down in the past.
maybe you will find your inner strength and beauty here... i know i personally see it.