How do you get out of the dreaded friend-zone, is it actually possible? and more to the point how does it happen, I thought it was going well....... But oh know how wrong am I??? I'm in the mists of a mid life crisis ( kinda loving it) just turned 40 and recently come out of a 15 yr relationship. Am i destined to a spinster life or just need to '' get back in the game '' because at the moment its not exactly going to plan............ HELP!!!!!How do you get out of the dreaded friendzone, is it actually possible? and more to the point how does it happen, I thought it was going well....... But oh know how wrong am I??? I'm in the mists of a mid life crisis ( kinda loving it) just turned 40 and recently come out of a 15 yr relationship. Am i destined to a spinster life or just need to '' get back in the game '' because at the moment its not exactly going to plan............ HELP!!!!!
So after recently coming out of a 15 year relationship at the ripe old age of 40, the whole dating lark seems to have changed some what!! Maybe it's just i'm mega out of practice, maybe it's because at 40 I can't be arsed with all the B*ll*cks and Bull Sh*t and know what I want? And let me tell you it certainly seems that most available men of a similar age are single for a reason!!!
My problem being is that I some how seem to end up in the dreaded friend zone with anyone that I think could be a possible boyfriend/partner ( I know the word boyfriend sounds childish) and i want to know why????
Am I giving off the wrong signals? or am I unable to read the signals? am I just extra sensitive or desperate and mistaking enjoying said persons company and feeling that it is reciprocated, as more than what it actually is??
So my current Friend zone situation is, I've recently met this guy who has just moved into my village, we instantly hit it off , same sense of humour, same life ethos, morals and ethics,lots in common e.g: music tastes, food, both hippies, love of water, same age bar a year, both recently come out of long term relationships me 15yrs him 18yrs.
He has been the first man that has actually made me feel that spark again since my split, I feel happy when i'm around him, I look forward to being around him, I miss him when I'm not around him and I think about him all the time, he looks at me in a way that makes me feel special. He gives me the impression that he feels the same, he gives me lots of his attention and time, took me away on his boat for 3 days ( it's a small motor boat not a posh yacht ) and it was beautiful, the sunsets, the tranquillity of being around water, with the added bonus of no awkwardness and being with him.
Perfect I hear you all saying, just give it some time, let nature take its course and why do feel you have been friend zoned????
Well let me explain to you all why I fear I've been friend zoned. On our first proper meeting (i'd admired from afar for a week or so) I'd sent my wing women in to find out some details e.g relationship status, where he lived etc etc at this current point i was working behind the bar in my local with an hour to go before I finished. So my insecure self with my eyes on the prize decided that if i had a couple of dutch courage drinks (large savs) pre flirt that I would come across funnier, more interesting and ouze self confidence, which I did or I thought / Felt like I did. We carried on drinking throughout the late afternoon into the evening , I obviously becoming drunker and drunker and louder and louder , to be fair not just me him too, we were enjoying each others company. There was a table with about 8 of us on but it felt like it was just us and we were in our own little zone, our common interests and sense of humour were becoming more and more apparent, I was flirting ( or thought I was flirting) he was flirting (or I thought he was flirting) until he invited me back to his for a night cap, at this point I totally thought I was in and that my plan had worked. Once back at his, which I'd presumed he lived at alone, he said his step son of 18yrs old lived there too, not a problem I thought , not recognising how hammered I actually was ( a loud, over bearing weirdo) I walked into what i thought was the living room , but was actually said step sons bedroom . Now any normal person would've apologised and left as he had his girlfriend in his room , and given that they'd never met me before a quick whoops sorry would've been quite enough, but not me , well I did apologise but my actually words , whilst looking at his girlfriend were '' God I'm sorry , didn't realise this was your room good job you weren't noshing him off ''. I can't really remember much else about what I actually said, but lets just say tact has always been something I've lacked, so I can imagine my deliverance of '' I really like you'' may have come out as '' I want to fuck you or I want your dick'' I know, I know this isn't how a lady should talk but I was pissed!!! Unfortunately the one thing I can remember is him saying that he really liked me too and could see us becoming great friends, but that was it
!!!
I was gutted that i'd miss read all the signals, but like I say loved spending time with him , so thought i'm just gonna have to suck it up and just enjoy (however hard) a friendship with him and nothing more, plus I realising i needed to brush up on my signals radar. But then he starts giving me signals, taking me away for 3 days when i needed it most, chilling me right out. The first night away we had a little kiss , and a little fiddle , to point the point that I had to tell him to stop as i didn't want to be making loads of sex noises in front of Damo, but I think that turned him on? Not him wanting Damo to hear, but for me to have to hold it all in and teasing me to the point of almost cumming
So after this i'm thinking maybe we're not friend zoned ??? or have i just totally been used after putting myself out there straight away???
So if I am friend zoned is it possible to get out of? If so how?
Please Help
2
?
Share ?
So after recently coming out of a 15 year relationship at the ripe old age of 40, the whole dating lark seems to have changed some what!! Maybe it's just i'm mega out of practice, maybe it's because at 40 I can't be arsed with all the B*ll*cks and Bull Sh*t and know what I want? And let me tell you it certainly seems that most available men of a similar age are single for a reason!!!
My problem being is that I some how seem to end up in the dreaded friend zone with anyone that I think could be a possible boyfriend/partner ( I know the word boyfriend sounds childish) and i want to know why????
Am I giving off the wrong signals? or am I unable to read the signals? am I just extra sensitive or desperate and mistaking enjoying said persons company and feeling that it is reciprocated, as more than what it actually is??
So my current Friend zone situation is, I've recently met this guy who has just moved into my village, we instantly hit it off , same sense of humour, same life ethos, morals and ethics,lots in common e.g: music tastes, food, both hippies, love of water, same age bar a year, both recently come out of long term relationships me 15yrs him 18yrs.
He has been the first man that has actually made me feel that spark again since my split, I feel happy when i'm around him, I look forward to being around him, I miss him when I'm not around him and I think about him all the time, he looks at me in a way that makes me feel special. He gives me the impression that he feels the same, he gives me lots of his attention and time, took me away on his boat for 3 days ( it's a small motor boat not a posh yacht ) and it was beautiful, the sunsets, the tranquillity of being around water, with the added bonus of no awkwardness and being with him.
Perfect I hear you all saying, just give it some time, let nature take its course and why do feel you have been friend zoned????
Well let me explain to you all why I fear I've been friend zoned. On our first proper meeting (i'd admired from afar for a week or so) I'd sent my wing women in to find out some details e.g relationship status, where he lived etc etc at this current point i was working behind the bar in my local with an hour to go before I finished. So my insecure self with my eyes on the prize decided that if i had a couple of dutch courage drinks (large savs) pre flirt that I would come across funnier, more interesting and ouze self confidence, which I did or I thought / Felt like I did. We carried on drinking throughout the late afternoon into the evening , I obviously becoming drunker and drunker and louder and louder , to be fair not just me him too, we were enjoying each others company. There was a table with about 8 of us on but it felt like it was just us and we were in our own little zone, our common interests and sense of humour were becoming more and more apparent, I was flirting ( or thought I was flirting) he was flirting (or I thought he was flirting) until he invited me back to his for a night cap, at this point I totally thought I was in and that my plan had worked. Once back at his, which I'd presumed he lived at alone, he said his step son of 18yrs old lived there too, not a problem I thought , not recognising how hammered I actually was ( a loud, over bearing weirdo) I walked into what i thought was the living room , but was actually said step sons bedroom . Now any normal person would've apologised and left as he had his girlfriend in his room , and given that they'd never met me before a quick whoops sorry would've been quite enough, but not me , well I did apologise but my actually words , whilst looking at his girlfriend were '' God I'm sorry , didn't realise this was your room good job you weren't noshing him off ''. I can't really remember much else about what I actually said, but lets just say tact has always been something I've lacked, so I can imagine my deliverance of '' I really like you'' may have come out as '' I want to fuck you or I want your dick'' I know, I know this isn't how a lady should talk but I was pissed!!! Unfortunately the one thing I can remember is him saying that he really liked me too and could see us becoming great friends, but that was it
!!!I was gutted that i'd miss read all the signals, but like I say loved spending time with him , so thought i'm just gonna have to suck it up and just enjoy (however hard) a friendship with him and nothing more, plus I realising i needed to brush up on my signals radar. But then he starts giving me signals, taking me away for 3 days when i needed it most, chilling me right out. The first night away we had a little kiss , and a little fiddle , to point the point that I had to tell him to stop as i didn't want to be making loads of sex noises in front of Damo, but I think that turned him on? Not him wanting Damo to hear, but for me to have to hold it all in and teasing me to the point of almost cumming
So after this i'm thinking maybe we're not friend zoned ??? or have i just totally been used after putting myself out there straight away???
So if I am friend zoned is it possible to get out of? If so how?
Please Help
2
?
Share ?
