Does anyone else feel the need to 'get primal' sometimes?

[MyDoorsAreOpen]

I've had many great experiences on various drugs with friends and at social events. But I have another use for cannabis, psychedelics, and dissociatives that I realized the other day. Every now and then, generally a few times a year, I'll have the spontaneous urge to go off by myself somewhere, anywhere where I'm pretty sure I won't encounter anyone, and let myself completely run wild. I'll say and do whatever comes to my mind, usually speaking my inner narrative out loud in a variety of voices, acting out short vignettes I've just made up in my head and switching between being various characters, and letting myself lapse in and out of all sorts of emotional states. I've made up one-man rituals and ceremonies on the spot, and sworn solemn oaths I've kept to this day. I've delivered passionate entreaties to whatever unseen entities might (or might not) be there with me. Some of what I'll dredge up will be snippets of movies I've seen or real encounters I've had with people, but a lot of it will be seemingly random and original. I let go of absolutely every constraint on thought, speech, and behavior that society has ever imposed on me. I liken it to the feeling of singing in the shower, but taken to a much greater extreme. The length of time I'll spend in this state really depends on the duration of the drug(s) I've taken, but I've never had a problem just knowing when it's time to rejoin the civilized world again, and I've always done so seamlessly.

I find this a very cleansing experience, very similar to Homer Simpson eating the Guatemalan Insanity Pepper and meeting the Space Coyote. It's usually enjoyable, but not always. I find it helps to clear away a lot of the fears, hangups, and neuroses that have caked up on my mind from dealing too much with systems and social fictions. It helps me remember who I am and what I'm capable of, as contrasted with what I've been told I am.

Until now I didn't really have a name for this state or this activity, because it's not something I've ever told anyone about. I just kind of ended up doing it every now and then because it felt like the right thing to do, sort of like spontaneously taking off your clothes and jumping in a beautiful lake. It's not something I think I'd want many people to know that I do or catch me doing, because I think they'd be concerned for my mental health. But the irony is, I think 'getting primal' helps me stay sane in the straight, social world. I've never ended up doing anything violent or destructive while off on one of these journeys.

Does anyone else relate to this?

 

[MrSexypancake]

Yeah, When I take shrooms I get to a similar place. I begin treating my life as a narrative that obeys certain genre conventions as if they were law. I reference tropes at length. They basically turn me into Abed from Community. When I look in the mirror, time seems less substantial, I see my face age for a while, before returning to it's current youthful state. Sometimes I stare at people on tv or myself in the mirror, and the physiological structure of my hand becomes more pronounced and strange too me. It allows me to see patterns of human evolution.

The most profound experience I have had on drugs, was laying in bed on shrooms with my girlfriend and deciding that we were the same person, as all of the matter that makes up our respective bodies came from the same source. Now she tells me that I love her as an inside joke, knowing that I will take it to mean that she loves me.

I'm sure that sounded like the nonsensical ravings of a madman, but it's a great feeling and the reason that shrooms are my favorite drug of all time.


Is that anything at all like what you feel like?

 

[MyDoorsAreOpen]

Yeah, I think you've got it. The only difference is that this is a really different sort of experience when there's no one else involved.

 

[Tryptamino]

when i take psychedelics, yeah, its very liberating to "get primal". on any other drug, it can be dangerous, like on amphetamines.