Do you think the pain goes away when if you end your life?

[adicabrady]

I think it does depend on the psych ward.I've been in a few and the meds they gave me didn't help.Sometimes it did help though,just by getting out of the situation I was in.It helped me see things in a different light.When I am in a deep depression I isolate.

I put an "I'm sleeping,don't bother me" sign on my door.Sometimes for weeks at a time.I just recently found out,that it upsets my neighbors.The people I thought didn't care about me,worry.

Mental illness and addiction distort thoughts.When I'm in a depression,it is very hard to think people care about me.It is hard to care about myself.

I've been reading the news and hearing about the "Tea Party" people and how they resent paying taxes to help people like me.It hurts.I read about "The losers" and how it is their fault.Sometimes I feed into it and think the country would be better off without me.

It is a shame when a Person's worth is only counted by the money they can make.I am trying to believe that there are many ways that don't include making money to have worth to the world.

At least I am not a sociopath,who thinks they are better than other people,when by direct result of their actions have put people out of work,conned them into buying houses they can't afford,etc...

People in America are jailed for drug possession but destroying the economy are praised and looked up tur values are screwy.

 

[donnie080208]

"WARNING: If you do seek help, and tell them of your suicidal ideation, they WILL force you to go to a psychiatric ward, and let me tell you, PSYCH WARDS ARE HORRIBLE. You are much better off dealing with this out-patient than to be locked up in a cage for a couple months eating shitty food and being bored out of your mind, attending worthless group after worthless class after worthless talks."


Oh so true its the same here in the u,k, psych wards help you very little ime, i got out about 4 or 5 months ago and have been in and out since my 1st admission in 2004.
When you first go in you think great they will help me and sort my head out, but on their meager budgets, they offer little except a bed to sleep in and 3 meals a day.
Ive tried everything , except (obviously ) death, i feel this is all thats left for me and i suspect many others with long term mental problems and serious depressions. I feel its as a valid option as medication or any other end of the line treatment
Why do people on here think struggling for years and years is a good thing and even people who arent ill i wouldnt judge for killing themselves with the state of the world and the wankers that run it,
see the superb comment above by adicabrady.

 

[Asclepius]

Adicabrady^^
You are one Strong Lady-I salute you hun for getting through that ordeal! Really amazes me how people manage, hope your doing okay?

 

[Ixchellian]

n3ophy7e is right. it depends on history, presentation, and referral.... most places.

just for the VA... if you're a veteran and openly threaten suicide or profess suicidal ideation, they take it *very* seriously. not only is it a damn cryin' shame when one of us does take themselves out, it's a huge black-eye on the VA. unfortunately the VA is under-funded, under-staffed, over-worked, and their methods are out-of-date in many respects.
Yet..... they do offer referrals to offsite, free, and anonymous suicide-intervention resources to the general public. they're just church or charity run by volunteers who work with, instead of for the VA.

've been reading the news and hearing about the "Tea Party" people and how they resent paying taxes to help people like me.It hurts. I read about "The losers" and how it is their fault.Sometimes I feed into it and think the country would be better off without me.

we just don't like paying taxes to cover bloated government programs, graft/criminals, and illegals. believe me or not, but the majority of us consider the war-on-drugs to be a sham, and that addiction is a medical problem, not a legal or social one. true physical addiction and mental illness are handicaps, and are deserving of charity. freeloading is not.

but yeh gotta make an effort at self-improvement, rather than hoping others will fix you. TNSTAAFL.

shit happens to people, we make mistakes, and we fall down. we value charity as a means to help people up, as long as they're honestly trying to help themselves first. That means having the strength and honesty to ask for help.
just expecting help without effort, playing the victim, and expecting everyone else to cover your rent is essentially theft from those who work their asses off & make sacrifices to help others.

even though I'm poor and handicapped myself, when someone *needs* it, it's my cherished duty to help in any I can. I don't know of any other "Tea-Party" person who would deny anyone the same.

it is a shame when a Person's worth is only counted by the money they can make.

the vast majority of Americans, left & right, still believe a persons' worth is based on strength & content of character, hard work, integrity, and honesty. it's pretty easy to tell otherwise.

As far as suicide goes, it does take guts and determination. but those internal resources would be much better used for bettering one's situation, yeah?

"Dying ain't much of a living." - Josey Wales

nobody knows what comes after..... it could be anything.

try to ponder the simple beauty of little things; like snowflakes, fluffy clouds, a bird song, the moon, the crunch of bicycle tires on dirt and the flow of a forest singletrack, the smell of fresh baking bread.... doing things like that is cathartic, calming, and refreshing.... rather than dwelling on ugly artifice and pain.

reset. free your mind, and the body will do the rest.

 

[duneplanet]

I;ve had enough near death experiences to know that consiousness does not stop after death. just wait it out.

 

[MeddieFrac]

Hang on, hang on...
This is not necessarily the case.
I have told my doctor and psych specialists numerous times when I've felt suicidal and I've never been committed to a psych ward, not even close. So it would depend on your history, your doctors, and most importantly the legislation in your particular country and state.

Well there is a difference between telling your doctor that you have thought about death/suicidal before, because I would say 9/10 of the population has thought about it in times of great stress, but if you tell your doctor you actually TRIED to commit suicide once and actually WANT to die, well that's another story.

I think it does depend on the psych ward.I've been in a few and the meds they gave me didn't help.Sometimes it did help though,just by getting out of the situation I was in.It helped me see things in a different light.

Yeah, it really just depends on the psych ward. I have been to some really nice ones that were like a vacation. Great food, great nurses, great doctors.

Then there are the terrible ones, the ones that make you feel literally like a prisoner. Bars on the windows, lights on all night so they can see you while you sleep, prison-esqe uniforms, shabby and institutionalized creepy building.

But the bottom line is, once you get that first psych ward admittance into your record, chances are high they will send you again. And again. And maybe again. There are people who have spent their entire lives in and out of psych wards when they could live perfectly normal lives if treated on an out-patient basis.

Veterans, unfortunately, have some of the WORST psychiatric wards in existence. VA Hospitals are terrible.

 

[ChickenScratch]

it just appears to me that he was actually trying to give you the info you were asking for. but i have no idea if he was being sarcastic or not. maybe he can chime in and tell us what his intentions were.

if he's sending you pm's being a jackass about suicide then he should probably be banned.

 

[Ixchellian]

hey, yeh got the resources and anectdotal experience here. yeh can make your own mind up about your own suicide happening or not; I won't recommend either way, but I can't just stand idly by and watch it happen.
(and I have a grudge match against death, so helping someone else beat it is oddly gratifying. )

I;ve had enough near death experiences to know that consiousness does not stop after death. just wait it out.

near-death.... but not death-death.

the brain does some wild shit while in shock and/or dying. For instance, I caught what was likely e. coli from some bad chow-hall food while on my first deployment, and I was cooking at times a 103 fever. I was also spilling from both ends, and with fever goes sweating. when i finally did take myself to the TMC, the intake medic took one look at me, and the last thing I coherently remember after being loaded into a HMMWV ambulance, was waking up in the Theatre Hospital's trauma recovery ward.... three days later. Evidently I almost died from dehydration, hyponatremia, and high fever. but I wasn't unconscious mostly. fever and biological shock did really weird things and it was like a really drawn-out bizarre, uncoordinated trip or semi-lucid dream. never actually thought about dying, even though I knew I was really sick. I did see a lot of death all around me, and that was unpleasant. never went "out-of-body" though. however, I have with LSD, DMT, and psylocybin. had nothing to do with a "near-death" kinda experience.

 

[paranoid android]

Okay there where more then a few posts in this thread out of line. No more of this shit will be fucking tolerated and especially do not fucking suggest to anyone how to off themselves or do anything else of that nature.

 

[n3ophy7e]

Well there is a difference between telling your doctor that you have thought about death/suicidal before, because I would say 9/10 of the population has thought about it in times of great stress, but if you tell your doctor you actually TRIED to commit suicide once and actually WANT to die, well that's another story.

What makes you think that's not exactly what I meant? Don't jump to conclusions man.
All I'm saying is that you can speak from your own experience and for the legislation in your own country but that doesn't necessarily mean it's the same all over the world and in every different situation. The way you've worded some of your comments in this thread could be really deterring for someone who needs to seek help, and that is not in the spirit of TDS.

TBH i dont feel i have more than 2 or 3 loved ones but i dont believe you can keep on living a life you dont want , just because you'd really hurt your family etc.

I've seen first-hand the effect that suicide has on a loved one. My dad's brother killed himself (before I was born) after a big argument with my grandfather. That was 35 years ago and it still completely tears my father up inside when he talks about it. I cannot, and don't want to, imagine the pain it brought to my dad's family. It absolutely destroyed them all.

Also, as adicabrady said, when you're depressed you underestimate how many people love and care about you, and your importance on the world. So you can pretty much triple the number of people that you think love you, and that will be more realistic In addition to all the people on Bluelight who are trying to help you and reach out to you, that's a whole lot of people who care about you donnie

 

[Asclepius]

^ N3pohy and Adicabrady are right here Donny we can really misjudge the effect and power we have on people dont underestimate yourself pet!

www.jamesclairlewis.com/pages/politics/individualpower.html

 

[ferrita]

Well, Speaking from experience. I have been clinically dead twice this year. One from pure stupidity. I was on 300 ,mg morphine, 6 norcos. baclophen, neurontin. I had pneumonia and was in massive pain. So added some 8 mg dillies and a shit fuck of xanax to the mix. Take that much you forget what you take and you take more.

MY 17 son found me. Sitting up, head on chest, total nod position. But he was stealing cigarettes from me, lol. He said something wasn't right so moved my hair from my face which was haning in front of it. said my nose was bleeding and when he proppped my chin up, blood was bubbling out of my mouth. Called 911. Was totally unresponsive. They shocked me, nothing, you name it they tried it, they finally narcan'd my ass. Son said I came up screaming and swinging and violent as hell, but then he knew I was okay. I woke up on life support days later, tubes down my through. IV in my carotoid artery, foley catheter, etc. I was dead. they saved me. What do I remember. I remember being pissed as fuck, because for the first time in years and years I had total peace. no pain both physically or mentally.

Second time was a month later. Not as many meds, but still had pmeumonia. Woke up with tubes and catheters etc etc. Said the cause was a seconday bacterial infection that acteed oportunistic and went for the lungs. It blows. My son asked if he did wrong by calling 911 and saving my life/ Bless him. A kid should never have to witness this shit. He has told me it was the darkest, ugliest, most fucked up thing he has ever had to see.

two weeks later, I was oxygen dependent and woke up in ICU again. Not from the drugs but i had went to sleep and the oxygen had fallen off and I went hypoxic. blood/ oxy stats in the mid 40s range.

What I still remember is being dark, peaceful, painfree both mentally and physically. It was GOOD. I don't say this to trigger people into suicide or anything like that. I can only express my experience. And I am no longer afraid of death. As of this minute, I am opiate free and living on Ibuprophen. The pain blows, and I will probably have to go back on meds at some point but will never get stupid and mix benzos and opiates again. What I do realize is that my thinking, my cognitive skills, my memory are not quite what they were before all this. I am gonna try everything I can surgery, pt again, massage, walking,. meditating, fighting off the cravings, even though I have meds here. More injections in the lumbar even though they didnt work;.
but I am bound to learn to stay off the meds as much as possible. I may have to go on them at some point but i am trying. the mental cravings are incredible. the depression is debilitating. but this too shall pass. now if the pain would just go away. Ive been suicidal, etc......been there done that, got the t shirts for it. Hang in there

 

[jwestlock]

I've had times in my life where I've been depressed and just kind of felt like life was pointless and each day was just like a complete chore. But I never did and never would consider suicide.

Sure the pain probably goes away, but it's actually a transaction. You take all your pain and then inject it tenfold into every person who cares about you. I mean it's unimaginable what it does to someone, having their son, brother, friend, etc. kill themself. I had a friend from university, and her brother killed himself three years ago. And a few months ago she was in town and we went for lunch, she's doing well, we're just chatting having fun, and then we're silent for a second eating and I see her look up and her eyes are full of tears, just anything, some little trigger or the mind starts to wander and it reminds you. She has a great life ahead of her but now has to carry this awful burden with her forever. And from what I see, it's kind of a viscious circle, because part of her hates her brother for doing it, because of how much it has made especially her parents' lives hard, and then she feels guilty for feeling that way.

And the worst thing about it is, especially for young people, it's just a decision made while in a temporary rut, and it's a permanent decision. It's the worst way to lose a loved one, seriously, I guarantee its a million times harder on a parent to have their son or daughter kill themselves than to lose them in some violent way at another person's hands.

I have pretty bad mood swings sometimes and I can go from feeling great and optimistic today and just totally like I have no future and life will never be good for me tommorow. And it's not just emotional, like it effects the logic in your brain, you can in the span of a day see all the hope for your life, and then see it as doomed. But you have to really work hard to see through that and realize that your reality is just what the state of your physical brain is at a given time. It's a chemical thing. I think most of the time when we're depressed if we think about things hard we can see a whole list of ways we need to change our life to improve it, getting healthy and exercising is probably the most important thing, because poor eating and not being active has been proven to reduce the levels of endorphins or other mood related chemicals working in your brain.

Anyhow, we all get to be dead for eternity, so we'll all get plenty of time to not feel pain. If someone was stricken with some terminal illness and all they had left was a few years of agony, it might be understandable that they'd want to check out early. But for a young person to consider it because things aren't going well for them right now or their whole mental state is out of whack because of drug abuse, is just such a mistake, such a mistake. Someone even posted a threat saying they were thinking they might kill themselves because they were going to have to withdraw from opiates cold turkey.

There is lots of help and resources out there. And everyone knows that.

We just need to live our lives for fuck sake, it's such an easy trap to fall into. Of course we get depressed when all we do is take drugs and sit around and reject the outside world. We should just suck it up and take a chance and try it. We know the stories, there's no such thing as a person with an addiction who is glad they reached that point, and no such thing as a person who has cleaned up and started doing the right things for themselves and regrets that.

 

[Memeito]

If you commit suicide you will go straight to hell!!!
The pain you will suffer there can't be compared with any pain you will experience in this life...

 

[donnie080208]

@jwestlock I know you mention in your post that its "understandable" for people with terminal illness too commit suicide as they only have a few years of agony left but what about someone with long standing mental health problems where medication has made little difference and who may have decades of suffering in front of them. I dont think age or time left should be a factor in whether ones suicide is justified.
@memeito
I respect your beliefs, i to am a catholic but i dont believe suicides go to hell after all, there anger /hatred is directed towards themselves, i know some get guns and shoot everyone before they end their lives but who would want to take that with them to the "next life" if unfortuanetly there is one. I know i have enough guilt to last me whats left of this life and the next

 

[claire22]

The way i look at it is this things could always get better or worse and why not put off such rash decisions as killing yourself to later. We put off all sorts of complicated decisions so why not suicide? Sure you will feel no pain when your in the dirt but anyone who loves you will be feeling alot of it. I have more then a few friends who have commited suicide and died by other means and it really fucking guts you. That's what has stopped me from doing it more then a few times and i have a few people to thank for that but they know who they are. I love those people far too much to do that to them.

I don't believe in god, the devil, a afterlife or anything but i do believe that we have to make the best of the time we have here on earth as that is all we have. We get no second shot at life so youd better make the one you have as fun as possible and live for what you want. That belief has also kept me alive too.

Too true. That last statement is precisely what kept me going.

It's hard to stay positive when everything goes to shit - most people on this forum would echo that sentiment. But we live once, only once. For centuries people have searched for the elixir of life; & our undying will to survive in the wild & in modern life is what keeps our race going. Never waste your life. I don't think many people who wish to commit suicide recognise what it means - the absolute end.

I digress. To answer your question - yes. It does eradicate the pain as you're dead & are physically unable to feel anything whatsoever. But it only creates pain for those around you. That's why I personally believe that suicide is an amazingly selfish act.

 

[claire22]

If you commit suicide you will go straight to hell!!!
The pain you will suffer there can't be compared with any pain you will experience in this life...

Look, I recognise and respect that this is your belief, however a more secular reasoning of why suicide is an inappropriate choice would be preferable for many. You can't try to just threaten people with Hell if they wish to end their lives. That isn't going to achieve anything, and may not even be applicable in their instance.

 

[jwestlock]

@jwestlock I know you mention in your post that its "understandable" for people with terminal illness too commit suicide as they only have a few years of agony left but what about someone with long standing mental health problems where medication has made little difference and who may have decades of suffering in front of them. I dont think age or time left should be a factor in whether ones suicide is justified.

Well sure those aren't the only factors to consider. But the point I was trying to make was just that considering suicide when you're young and reasonably healthy just because things suck today or you're in a crappy situation, that's beyond rediculous.

I really think the main reasons young people commit suicide is lack of perspective and laziness. They think that the way things are today will be the way they always are. And then secondly, it really is laziness. It's hard to quit using drugs, it's hard to break old habits and change your life completely so you start living it. On the other hand, it's super easy to sink into a state of self-pity, to convince yourself that everything in life is just fucked and stupid and it's not worth living, and then ultimately, it's easier to point a gun at your head and move your finger than to take ownership of your own destiny and start taking action to make a good life for yourself.

There's no aspect of justification to it. I certainly don't believe in god or heaven or hell. It's just a choice an individual makes. And as an observer depending on the circumstances you might be able to say "I can understand why this person wants to end their life and I can respect that decision". But when a 23 year old kills himself because he can't find a girlfriend, he's lonely, he doesn't like his job, he can't quit smoking or popping pills. That is pathetic. It's the "easy way out". I think a lot of depression and so forth is some kind of defense mechanism, because they're afraid of or unwilling to put in the effort to change a bad situation, a depressed person convinces themselves that things are bad and there's no solution, the world is shit, people are all awful, etc.

 

[LacunaSamsara]

No. Suicide increases the amount of suffering you'll feel when you're reborn to a negative karmic effect. I mean, really, you think it's that easy that you can escape through suicide. I think not.

 

[donnie080208]

@jwestlock " when you're young and reasonably healthy " (do you mean physical health here?)


In my posts im talking about me, i am 32 years old and neither a love sick teenager or current drug user, ive been 4 years( roughly)."clean " I have not drunk alcohol for about the same amount of time yet i still want to take my own life.
My" head went" when i was 18 years old and ive never come back, self-pity? certainly, attention of the boards? maybe (but couldnt that be said of any poster).
Anyway , i have struggled and fought to overcome my mental problems giving up drugs/booze etc.. but have had no real relief from my symptoms and im tired of it and hate myself,im a burden to the state and somewhat hopeless.
Of on a bit of a tangent but any teenagers/young adults who are reading this thread, who smoke strong cannabis ,even occasionally and you are tightly wound / prone to depressive periods, you are potentially playing russian roulette with your sanity. It may ruin your life for good