Do you look like a junkie?
I live in New York City, and not a day goes by where I don't see some fucked up shit. I've become hardened to most of it - you have to - but I still get disturbed and scared and sad when I see young people - people my age (23) - strung out on drugs.
I'm still thinking about what I saw on Saturday. Taking the subway uptown, I saw a young white junkie couple on the train. They looked so smacked out, it was hard not to stare. The girl took about 5 minutes just to put on her sunglasses. They were clearly codependent on each other. They looked like they might have once been attractive, but now they seemed to be shadows of themselves. They both had decent clothes on but the girl had a backpack with cups sticking out of it and so I figured she was homeless. Their eyes were barely open.
I guess it just bothered me because of how young they were. I see strung out older people and crackheads talking to themselves a lot, but they don't stay in my mind like this couple did. Maybe it's because I know that maybe this couple was once like me - dabbling in drugs on the weekends, enjoying the high and the bliss - but that they were overcome by their addiction. Addiction - especially heroin addiction - really fuckin scares me. I don't use heroin though, more like OCs but I know that they are essentially one and the same. As my friend would say, OCs are a hop, skip, and a jump away from heroin. I just don't want to end up like that. I'm farrrrrrr from it but that's probably why I got so emotional seeing this couple on Saturday. I had to get that out. I'm just saddened by it, and I know that if I'm not careful, I could be like that too.
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How can you tell if someone is on drugs, and on which drugs?
People on crack usually talk to themselves. Otherwise it's mostly in the eyes. But the main way you can tell is by how they act. Totally disoriented. For instance, my friend and I smoked a lot of weed last night. As he was leaving, he looked at himself in the mirror and said "I look like I'm on drugs. People are going to think I'm a junkie."
I know there are a lot of experimenters/users on Bluelight. Do you become concerned when you see strung out kids, or is that you? Do you worry about whether or not your use might escalate to the point where that could be you? Addiction fucking scares me man. But drugs are so great. It's a slippery slope. Tell me your thoughts. Thanks.