I have liked the needle since I was 8 years old. That is when I started sticking needles in myself. I started liking them more when I was around 13 years old - that is when I started taking those sewing needles and pushing them in so hard they went under flesh when I released them. I started injecting water into my muscles when I was 14 (my mom raised calves and sometimes they needed antibiotic shots). When I was 15, I kept repeatedly injecting water into the same spot until I had used over half the cup. It developed an infected abscess, which I told nobody about. I kept draining this now thicker, nasty smelling brownish fluid from my leg by sticking large needles in and squeezing so the vile liquid would squirt out. I also took a combination of antibiotics including an injectable one for cows to keep the infection from spreading, someone finding out that I did that kind of thing yo myself, and due to fear of amputation. I continued this for maybe a week. The antibiotic regime was the same for that week and then I continued without the injectable one for another week or more. I'd drain that liquid out several times per day. It seemed like only a small portion could come out at once.
I guess I was 16 or so when I came up with a better way of permanently embedding needles into my body (I am unsure of my age when I started this though.) Now I would stick in a long hypodermic needle, put a sewing needle down in that, and push it to the bottom of the long (maybe 1.5' or so) hypodermic needle with the largest needle I could find that would fit in the hole. I also straightened a metal clothes hanger and smashed a broken off hypodermic needle, squeezing hard with pliers and banging with a hammer until they were attached good enough they could not be taken apart. I would stick it all the way through the thick area of my thigh or sometimes both of my thighs and walk to cause pain.
It was probably around then or maybe a little earlier when I started injecting things that should not be injecting into the body. I think the first thing was soy sauce, but eventually I got really nasty, injecting mixtures of water and feces. This was often in hope of causing a fatal infection. I was really depressed, already failing two suicide attempts and being denied access to the shotgun I was going to blow my head off with when I went to my sister's for Easter dinner because she got pissed off at my mom because she misunderstood something she said and she had no contact with the family and would not answer phone calls for at least five years, God damn the bitch! (That is sort of sarcastic - I am glad I was unable to get near a gun, I don't want to die, but she was a bitch for holding a grudge so long).
Some time later, I started sticking needles in and heating them with cigarette lighters while they were in my body.
I finally got around to using needles for a good purpose on some occasions maybe when I was 21 or 22. It was the first time I got ketamine. I think the first time and probably one of less than a dozen times in my life I IV'd a drug was with DPT. My God, how amazing that was. It was also a high dose and I was sure for maybe 2-4 minutes I was dying, then complete loss of identity. I had difficulty getting the 20 feet or so from the bathroom to my bed because I could not see very well where things like walls, doors, and floors were at. I was a conscious part of an immense consciousness that made up everything, a component capable of experiencing life as something with no boundary separating me from anything else or as a separate entity with my own mind, motivations, and loves but this universal entity could process information as it wished regardless of what mode of existence I was in at any time or any other lives I live in the future. It was mind blowing and the depression which had become bad for a long time was erased completely for at least a month. It took a lot longer for it to become severe.
I IV'd several other psychedelics and MDPV after that. I have IV'd methamphetamine I think just once and this was maybe 6 weeks ago. My brother found a vein for me and shot me up with a small dose of 3-meo-pcp. I was just letting him test it out because he knew I had tripped my ass of a couple of times. I let him have a larger amount a few days later. He liked it, but it was clear that shooting up very much more would be really dangerous. He almost killed himself by taking a syringe I had mixed to plug, wouldn't give it back, wouldn't plug it as I suggested, nor would he listen when I said there was way too much to shoot up at once and I asked him to not do more than a fourth, wait a couple of minutes to see if that satisfied him, and if not he could shoot some more - just try to keep the needle in ok so you don't have to stick again. Wouldn't listen, he just had to do it all at once. He says everything is better if you shoot it up. He fixes pills to shoot, a couple of days ago he IV'd some brown meth. I IM'd some of it and had to do it with the syringe pointing up because there was a stuff that would not dissolve. He shot up apple flavor vodka even after I told him I thought it had a supplement of some kind dissolved in it - no idea what it might have been but it was bitter. He said it made the rush better if you shoot up with vodka and he had to show me it was safe and painless. I think he likes the needle.
I rarely use needles to damage or cause pain to my body anymore - I have done one really bad thing in the last six months. I do inject certain drugs into my muscles a lot when I have them because it works better or is more cost efficient.
I no longer really like stabbing myself with needles. I feel indifferent to whether I use a needle, I think. I can't be completely sure the needles are not a want because I am not thinking about that, I am trying to make sure I don't need to do anything before I trip and when I am getting ready for the trip (getting what I need in order to do it - drug, alcohol, needle, syringe, paper towel and anything else I need. Then I shoot it into a muscle and don't really think much about that aspect. Rarely it seems to immediately improve my mood briefly. This will more often than not improve my mood if I am badly depressed, so in that way I do like needles, but not much as now if I just want to stop emotional pain, I'll eat a raw habanero pepper or something not at all damaging. I do sometimes want to harm or mutilate my body to damage it instead of relieving emotional pain but I usually do more extreme things than stabbing in needles, but heating them with lighters while they are in the body is a way I use needles for the purpose of damaging my body.
I will IV drugs in the future if I don't die to soon. I am possibly going to be able to get a heroin connection and there are research chemical opiates I'd like to try and at least see what they are like IV'd (I hope to get alpha-fentanyl but it seems hard to find. AH7921, MT-45, and any other opioid research chemical I get is going into my viens at least once. I will always inject into muscles when I have the right drugs. Not because I love needles, just because these drugs work better these ways.