His Name Is Frank
Bluelight Crew
Not the gecko, the arrogant old bastard that starts off with, "Could switching to Geico really save you 15% or more on your car insurance?" then pauses as if he's about to speak the most brilliant shit ever heard. Instead of brilliance, we get a pun or a play on words. It was kind of funny in the beginning. The woodchucks chucking wood. Awww. Abe Lincoln not telling his wife she didn't look fat.There seem to be about 50 different spots and I hear all of them every day. This commercial plays on every site I go on, except for bluelight.
I know that every third video I watch, I'm going to have to endure this man who has become such a symbol of rage and arrogance. All day, every day. I can't be the only one who's had to put up with this smart ass 5 times an hour. I'm sure some of you know ways around these commercials. When did salesmanship become, "Let's piss them off with repetition. Maybe they'll go out and get our product if we play the same douchebag saying the same shit over and over." It doesn't work like that. He now bums me the hell out and generally pisses me off.
To make it even worse, I have a friend who thinks it's hilarious to call me at least once a day and ask me, "Could switching to Geico really save you 15% or more on your car insurance?" Granted, his impression is spot on, but that only makes it worse. Now I have to hear this Geico smug, dramatic pause bullshit outside of the internet. I don't watch tv, so I miss the 400+ Geico commercials that it shows. God, I hate him so much as it is. He's like the mentally unbalanced townsman that tries to follow you to your car and get in.
This may not belong here, but I had to get it off my chest and there has to be at least one person out there that wants to see a large stage lamp fall on his head right when he does his pause. I don't even have a car right now, let alone a need for insure a damn car. That's the bummer part. He's essentially telling me, "Not only am I going to annoy the shit out of you to punish you for watching YouTube videos, but I'm going to remind you that you don't even have what's required to buy our product. Now I'll ask, does the buck stop here?" Cue an actual male deer (buck) walking towards him and yes, sure enough if the fucker didn't stop where he said he would. Hilarity ensues.
I know it's not really the guy's fault. He's just a man making a living. Probably a good one at that. I'm sure that he is a decent man. That still doesn't stop me from appreciating how much I would like to to go the hell away. Give him different intros, for fuck's sake. Something like, "Hey. It's me. The smartass from Geico again. I'm going to say something and it's literally going to happen." If he approached it that way, maybe I wouldn't wish death on him that much. As it is, his voice is a dentist's drill probing the middle of my skull and his smug face haunts my dreams. That's right. Now the fucking Geico man is after every second or third video, calling me up on my phone under the guise of my idiotic friend who thinks it's fun to torture me for making the mistake of telling him how much I hate that commercial AND it's in my dreams. Again, the voice my friend does is spot on, but goddamn do I hate hearing it on my phone every day.
Maybe I'm completely wrong. Maybe the mass majority laughs their asses off every time this guy struts into the frame of the camera and delivers comedy gold nugget after comedy gold nugget. Either way, I say fuck this guy in his stupid ass for manifesting his way into at least two different ways away from the internet. The only way they could make it any more intrusive for me would be to send that son of a bitch directly to my door, ready to the tooth to ask me his age-old question. May whatever god, demon or cult beliefs he worship have mercy on his soul if he should ever make that mistake. I never thought anything would make me miss the cavemen from the earlier spots. Fuck me.
I know that every third video I watch, I'm going to have to endure this man who has become such a symbol of rage and arrogance. All day, every day. I can't be the only one who's had to put up with this smart ass 5 times an hour. I'm sure some of you know ways around these commercials. When did salesmanship become, "Let's piss them off with repetition. Maybe they'll go out and get our product if we play the same douchebag saying the same shit over and over." It doesn't work like that. He now bums me the hell out and generally pisses me off.
To make it even worse, I have a friend who thinks it's hilarious to call me at least once a day and ask me, "Could switching to Geico really save you 15% or more on your car insurance?" Granted, his impression is spot on, but that only makes it worse. Now I have to hear this Geico smug, dramatic pause bullshit outside of the internet. I don't watch tv, so I miss the 400+ Geico commercials that it shows. God, I hate him so much as it is. He's like the mentally unbalanced townsman that tries to follow you to your car and get in.
This may not belong here, but I had to get it off my chest and there has to be at least one person out there that wants to see a large stage lamp fall on his head right when he does his pause. I don't even have a car right now, let alone a need for insure a damn car. That's the bummer part. He's essentially telling me, "Not only am I going to annoy the shit out of you to punish you for watching YouTube videos, but I'm going to remind you that you don't even have what's required to buy our product. Now I'll ask, does the buck stop here?" Cue an actual male deer (buck) walking towards him and yes, sure enough if the fucker didn't stop where he said he would. Hilarity ensues.
I know it's not really the guy's fault. He's just a man making a living. Probably a good one at that. I'm sure that he is a decent man. That still doesn't stop me from appreciating how much I would like to to go the hell away. Give him different intros, for fuck's sake. Something like, "Hey. It's me. The smartass from Geico again. I'm going to say something and it's literally going to happen." If he approached it that way, maybe I wouldn't wish death on him that much. As it is, his voice is a dentist's drill probing the middle of my skull and his smug face haunts my dreams. That's right. Now the fucking Geico man is after every second or third video, calling me up on my phone under the guise of my idiotic friend who thinks it's fun to torture me for making the mistake of telling him how much I hate that commercial AND it's in my dreams. Again, the voice my friend does is spot on, but goddamn do I hate hearing it on my phone every day.
Maybe I'm completely wrong. Maybe the mass majority laughs their asses off every time this guy struts into the frame of the camera and delivers comedy gold nugget after comedy gold nugget. Either way, I say fuck this guy in his stupid ass for manifesting his way into at least two different ways away from the internet. The only way they could make it any more intrusive for me would be to send that son of a bitch directly to my door, ready to the tooth to ask me his age-old question. May whatever god, demon or cult beliefs he worship have mercy on his soul if he should ever make that mistake. I never thought anything would make me miss the cavemen from the earlier spots. Fuck me.