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Do you feel that researching E diminishes your roll?

X-termi

X-termi

Bluelighter
Joined
Mar 18, 2009
Messages
176
Location
Netherlands
The first time I visited these forums I was acting like a spunge. I was sucking up information on E like mad. I had till then rolled twice, and it was great. Both times were at a quite big party.

Since then I've been reading about E on a regular basis, mostly on these forums. I've been looking at information about how to be safe, how te prepare the setting for home rolls, what suplements might be good (not using them), etc etc. I figure a lot of you have been doing the same thing.

The last 2 times rolling were at somebody elses, and my own home. I noticed both experiences were to some extend less good/ less -wow- than the other ones. Time seemed to be going faster and I noticed myself thinking about a lot of what I had been reading here. It somehow felt that I was having more control over the drug than I wanted to. I was constantly aware of me being on the drug, and painfully aware of time flying by. I now seem to be longing for an experience in which I can just 'let go more', and I don't know if I will be able to do that again.

I still remail to be a critic, so I know there might be more reasons than just this one: maybe I can enjoy the drug better when being at big parties, maybe I took a different dose the last two times, maybe the setting was just not for me, maybe the first two times I was still experiencing the 'wow factor' of it being totally new for me.

I now wonder: have you experienced the same as I do, or do you still experience it? And in both cases: what would you suggest to get that great feeling of 'not being aware' again?

[Background info: I started 2 years ago. Have since then rolled 4 times. Always took more than 3 months breaks in between. I still enjoy the drug and feel the love and euphoria. I have acces to good MDMA, proven by testing it through a testing service.]
 
Set and setting play a huge part on your overall roll. I know a pretty decent amount about MDMA and my last roll(last friday) was amazing. Nothing really compares to my first ever roll because of how instrumental it was for how I started to live my life, but I definitely roll just as hard (if not harder).
 
I think that reading on these forums, or engaging in any other method of researching the drug, begins to totally demystify it. I remember my first few times. It was like something alien, or godlike. Totally unreal. Indescribable.

Now, it's kinda like, "damn, that serotonin rush sure feels good." It's no longer this innocent experience that I'm pretty sure is going to save the world some day.
 
i dont think that has to do with your knowledge of the drug. it has to do with the beans, setting and other things. first few times i rolled it was just like mrman, this totally new experience better than anything i have ever encountered. now i still feel really good but its not that mysterious feeling i once felt before.
 
maybe it's because i don't take many drugs aside from ecstasy...but i feel that the drug is more enjoyable as i learn more about it. but i'm a bit of a control freak and like to know what's going on with my body and to be as educated as possible as to how i can avoid long term consequences for my actions while younger :) the first time i rolled was not fun for the first bit because i had NO idea what to be expecting. the come up freaked me out and since i was in a club setting i was incredibly paranoid for a while. it was lame. now that i've studied up on the effects caused at all levels of the experience, i feel prepared for anything (well, almost anything lol) that will be thrown my way.

also, i have to agree that getting good pills and the right setting is so crucial for the experience. being in the wrong place for you personally will kill the roll faster than anything else, imo.
 
I think it has to do with set and setting indeed. I was more like 'let's try this I've read, and this, and bla'. That's what made it so controlled.

That, combined with that I know know what it does: the magical 'oehhh, this is nice and new'-factor is gone. I think I'll just have to give it a go at a festival or something like that again. Still wondering what others think though :-)
 
Ah man...I've never rolled before, but after finding out about this site and mdma I couldn't help but read dozens and dozens of trip reports. I loved the idea of it. Do you think knowing so much about mdma would diminish its effects/mystery/etc? I've actually been a little worried about that. I know 1st time experiences are the best...I hope knowing so much about it doesn't affect my 1st roll or expectations or anything.
 
mrman737 said:
i think that reading on these forums, or engaging in any other method of researching the drug, begins to totally demystify it. I remember my first few times. It was like something alien, or godlike. Totally unreal. Indescribable.

Now, it's kinda like, "damn, that serotonin rush sure feels good." it's no longer this innocent experience that i'm pretty sure is going to save the world some day.
Click to expand...

+10000000
 
avcpl said:
overthinking my rolls definitely diminish them; wish I didn't but I overthink everything...
Click to expand...

Yes I understand this.


Tell you what OP, I'll be your dummy today. I am getting a couple beans and I have been doing a lot of research on this drug today so we will see how things turn out. Sound good?
 
I think you're problem may be overthinking. Since you now know so much about the drug, you can be quick to instantly recognize the feelings you get from the drug. I am definitely guilty of it too. What I have found to work is before you roll tell yourself NOT to think about what the drug is doing. Obviously set and setting are key. Make sure you can relax and be in a comfortable place. From there, just relax and go where it takes you.
 
researching e made me feel all the negative effects of mdma i never felt before. maybe it opened my eyes to it idk but it was a stage i went thru where it fucked alot of rolls up for me but im past it now, it goes away. realzing mdma can be dangerous wen abused is scary but learning how and wen to use it brings all the positive back.
 
It's kind of a double edged sword for me.

It does kind of take away from the "magic" of it all, know what's actually going on in my brain as apposed to just feeling that feeling and accepting it as a mystical thing.

But at the same time, I do love knowing what exactly is going on, exactly what I can expect out of things, knowing when the best time to redose is ect. Plus, being able to talk myself and others out of bad situations because I understand what is happening inside one's body, or actually knowing what I'm talking about in order to educate kids... that makes it all worth losing that mysical aspect.
 
Far from it - I LOVE ecstasy.

I know how it works, what parts of the brain it triggers, why our jaw goes this way, why our eyes go that way, what will happen if I take too much, what happens if I dont take enough et etc

What I cant explain it that 'feeling' you know when your rolling balls - eyes in the back of your head, goosebumps all over your body, energy rushing up and down your spine, music not just sounding good but feeling/smelling/tasting amazing, barriers being broken down, being able to connect with somebody on a completely different level than you could do without MDMA.

I say test your gear, drop, forget what you already know, forget what you think and what you have been told to think and just enjoy the sensation.

OP - I have been using a LOT longer than you and I dont get bored or used to the feeling. Test your gear, make sure your comfortable in your setting and relax.
 
im usually stoic, overly analytical, and research all my substances ad nauseum. i still manage to have magical rolls 8 years later.

the key has always been setting. be around visual and auditory triggers that ignite your adrenaline. instead of rolling at ur local club every 3 months, roll at a big festival or event that comes around once a year...it will feel more special. roll with someone that has never rolled before and their excitement will rub off on you. be in a comfortable place where its acceptable to let loose without the danger of authority figures or judgment by onlookers.

ive sat on beans for as long as 6 months waiting for the 'right time'. :-)
 
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