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Do Relationships Kill Sex?

Captain.Heroin

Captain.Heroin

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It's even probably in that massive post I posted, but I can't (for the life of me; high as a kite right now) find the quote from Small World where one character implies

RELATIONSHIPS KILL SEX

I have always thought/believed this, this kind of happened in my first two five year long relationships and I still loved 'em.

I WANT TO KEEP THE GOOD SEX this time and fuck a relationship so ....

NO LABELS, keep separate apartments/houses don't live together, don't get married, don't put a ring on it, and it'll stay good?

There's an alternative that perhaps no matter what you'll get bored of them somewhere around 2,000 fucks. Yeah, I've fucked one person that many times enough to know OK DON'T JUDGE ME (I even told my friend, 30 lifelong partners? girl that isn't even a good summer for me, that isn't even a month of a good summer for me!!!), so am I going to get bored of this person EVENTUALLY? Should I try to stretch the 2,000 fucks over like, a few years and then just move on when I'm bored?

I'll be the one to get bored first (99% sure it'll be me, the man always wants another partner instinctively to spread genes.... evolution.... nature.... blah blah blah)

So basically this is separate from my "how do I cut my hearstrings" thread, that I still need to know, and I kind of have great answer in there (THANK YOU TO THE PERSON WHO SAID IT, I'LL TELL YOU SOMETIME YOU DON'T EVEN KNOW IT!!!). I specifically want to know what kills good sex, between two people getting it on on a regular basis? Do you eventually grow tired of them, or is it the relationship itself as implied in Small World?

As I lean heavily toward the latter I am inclined to know what to do without anyone's assistance (oh my play on words is so great) in this thread persay BUT...

I figure some of y'all wanna keep fuckin' the way you like w/ a person you dig for a while so... LET'S FIGURE IT OUT!
 
Yeah IMO the affection, trust etc. that you get w/ a relationship makes sex better, at least in the short-term.

Over the long term, yeah, you may have to find ways to keep yourself interested, esp. if you're into certain things (like the novelty of being w/ a new partner, etc.) Either that or try having a relationship w/ the understanding that it's not exclusive...that only works for certain kinds of people, though, IMO
 
It has something to do with the chemical reaction or hormones or endorphins something like that , after 2 years they aren’t released or as high anymore so people get bored or it’s not as exciting
 
having been married for 5 years, and being in my mid to late 30's, with two young children, i'll just give you my opinion
sex is sex. It doesn't really change, you do. Sex is incredibly important and all consuming to an 18-25 year old. So is drinking 5 beers in an evening.
To me now, drinking 5 beers in an evening would give me the hangover of a lifetime and 2-3 completely lost days from my life.
To me now, if I ejaculated as often as I did when I was 18, I'd be sick and weak all the time.
The reality is that over the life course, both males and females experience a natural drop in the major sex hormones. It's really that simple.
That being said, sex doesn't get any "worse". In fact, I'd say my wife and I are much "better" at it than ever, and its more satisfying and fun than ever. We just don't do it as often.
Getting older with your partner is all about quality over quantity, I'd say.
 
atara said:
I don't know, in my experience, life kills sex. The primary reason we don't have sex most days is that we work all day and then we eat dinner and then we're too full and then we fall asleep.
Click to expand...
oh.

Thx, I guess, make sense.

Larimar said:
It has something to do with the chemical reaction or hormones or endorphins something like that , after 2 years they aren’t released or as high anymore so people get bored or it’s not as exciting
Click to expand...
hahahhahahhahahaha. Ah, this could be it too. Not what I wanted to hear but I can live with it.
 
Nah I want the sex, it's electric, fun, we're practically complimenting each other afterward. I can let the rest of it go. :|

I made my choice, and now I have to live with it (similar to something Inez says in No Exit)
 
Relationships don't kill sex. Serious problems in relationships can kill sex. Both internal and external. On top of that keeping the fire burning long term requires effort. As you get older though, sex becomes less important compared to other aspects of a relationship such as intimacy, companionship or trust.
Captain.Heroin said:
so am I going to get bored of this person EVENTUALLY? Should I try to stretch the 2,000 fucks over like, a few years and then just move on when I'm bored?
Click to expand...
Generally relationships based purely on sex tend not to last very long no matter what you do.
Captain.Heroin said:
I specifically want to know what kills good sex, between two people getting it on on a regular basis?
Click to expand...
lack of effort
treating sex like a drug/being immature sex addict who always wants new/more and thus is never satisfied with what he has
neglecting other important aspects of a relationship

Lack of good sex is often a result of relationship going sour and not cause.
 
FULLofSTARS said:
Lack of good sex is often a result of relationship going sour and not cause.
Click to expand...
I tend to think the relationship has a cause/impact on the sex moreso than the opposite. A good friendship/relationship can exist/go back to normal with/without the sex. *SHRUGS*

Schools of thought (that think along my lines) are...

1) you'll "outgrow/get over" someone even if everything's perfect and the sex is great
2) "it takes work" is kind of a bastardization of #1 but I'll give your idea merit...
3) relationships/the social song and dance of intimacy/dating/terminology of relationship itself kills sex
4) that you can have a good relationship or good sex but not both, that you can't have it all
5) I forget... other possibilities. Someone posited sex kills relationships (which wasn't what you said?) but this isn't along my line of thinking.

I forget. I am lovesick, still, but it's passing (words have been said on both sides 8( it's getting steamy). In fact so steamy I can't post details NO ONE WOULD BELIEVE ME, the boy who cried "dope!" three times.
 
Captain, I gotta tell you, you are amazing entertainment for me and so fucking funny and interesting for me to observe.

Can I just add one thought for you to think on here.
What about your soul and spirit? You will never be satisfied by anything until you mature spiritually.
Now, I know, I know, you do not want to hear this.
But, I’m telling you with the utmost of love for you, that things can be even more fire and sexual and satisfying in a way you never imagined.

Let me leave this little beauty of a song here for you. Please bear with me and give it a listen and watch.
Feel it with your heart.

hang on I will go retrieve it.
 
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